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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is he just sensitive or is there a problem....

10 replies

Kyliebump · 19/06/2003 23:45

I'm getting a bit worried about my 13month old DS as he's always seemed really sensitive to loud or sudden noises. We've managed to get him over bursting into tears at other people sneezing, and becoming distraut at the bath plug coming out, but the phone ringing, the cooker alarm and the smoke alarm seem to absolutely terrify him. He doesn't just cry - a terrified look comes over his face, he screams and then runs as quickly as he can to whoever's nearest and clings to them shaking and sobbing. I'm wondering if it might be something to do with the pitch of these noises or it might be their unpredictability as sometimes if someone speaks when it's been quiet, he can be scared then too.

The phone now only rings twice before switching to answerphone, but there's not much we can do about the smoke alarm and the cooker alarm. Some people have said to just let him get on with it and 'toughen him up', but I'm inclinded to just hold him and reassure him and hope that this phase passes - does anyone have any other ideas, or thoughts on what could be causing this? It really upsets me to see him so frightened.

Thanks

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Ghosty · 20/06/2003 03:12

Kyliebump ... I so relate to this ...
My DS has always been very sensitive to sudden noises ... door bells ... cooker alarms ... lawnmowers ... traffic ... car horns ... you name it ... (they don't have to be that loud) and he was terrified like your ds. The latest thing is babies crying ... he hates it ...today we were in the supermarket and he wanted to go because there was a baby crying in the next isle. .... lets hope he gets over that one by the end of january!!
Things have improved as he has got older (he is now just over 3 and a half) as he is able to understand more and I am able to explain things to him ... 'babies cry because they can't talk etc' and 'you used to cry a lot when you were a baby ... it is quite ok for babies to cry'
But he will still walk down a busy shopping street with his hands pressed over his ears as the traffic is too loud.
I don't think he has a problem ... I don't know what kind of problem he could have as his hearing is so sharp ... he can hear aeroplanes way before DH or I can.
I think you are doing the right thing by holding him and reassuring him ... that is what I do ... and just try to explain it all as much as you can and that loud noised can't hurt him etc.
I love having a sensitive boy but sometimes I wish he could be a bit tougher ....
Hugs {{{}}}

WedgiesMum · 20/06/2003 08:25

I have a friend whose little boy is just the same - very very sensitive to noise. It is a family thing as his grandfather was just the same. My friend tries to explain what everything so that he can rationalise it in his mind, but doing the comforting thing seems only sensible to me - after all at 13 months the world can be a pretty frightening thing (it still does to me and I'm 37!). You might want to mention it at his next developmental check in the 'oh and I think he has very sensitive hearing' kind of way - just to see if your HV has any ideas that might help.

But I do feel that you're doing all the right things for him, so don't feel pressured to make him tough, he's still a baby after all....

SamboM · 20/06/2003 09:48

Hi Kyliebump, this is called an exaggerated startle response (I should know I've got it!)

My father had it too, it does seem to run in families. I shouldn't worry about it, but neither do I think it will pass as I still hit the roof at sudden noises (v embarrassing sometimes, if I'm sitting on a train reading and another train comes past fast I scream!) Games which involved people hiding and jumping out at me always ended in tears.

I don't think it's hearing related as my dad is pretty deaf.

katierocket · 20/06/2003 10:01

Wow, I'm really interested in this thread because I think I have this and DS (20 months) is exactly how you describe your DS Kyliebump.

SamboM - I didn't realise it was a condition - DP always rolls his eyes at me because I'm forever jumping out of my skin.

I thought I was just highly strung. Really interesting to read this.

GeorginaA · 20/06/2003 10:05

Mine was like this about sudden noises when he was younger.

Drills he was terrified of in particular and we had a very unfun week when we had the double glazing put in.

Every time they drilled a hole we had to sit upstairs, cuddled in a corner, him clinging to me for dear life, and me trying to surround him as much with my body as I could (knees up behind his back) so he felt securer. He has got better (he's 2 now) and tends to look for my reaction to sudden noise and only panics if he sees that it was a noise I didn't expect, but even then not the sheer terror that he had then.

Mind you, he still hates the hoover...

fio2 · 20/06/2003 10:08

my dd was very similar I just used to cuddle her and reassure her. She has grown out of it now though so hopefully for you it wont last forever-then again it is just in some peoples personalities to be a bit more highly strung.

Davros · 21/06/2003 17:09

Hesitate to suggest this as it is often associated with children with special needs, but have you thought of trying Auditory Integration Training? There is a lovely set available for use at home and, although I know about it through SpecEd, I also know lots of parents who have used it themsleves and on their other kids. PLEASE don't be offended, not suggesting for one minute that anything to worry about, far from it, its just that parents like me come into contact with a lot of interesting stuff we otherwise wouldn't. Info cut & pasted below:

The Listening Programme which is a homebased AIT programme. You listen through headphones for 15-30mins per day for 8-16 weeks, lots of kids use it in the car. The programme can be repeated easily and can also be used for more than one person. There is more info at www.advancedbrain.com and the UK provider is Fliss Mitchell-Roberts [email protected]

Maxster · 22/06/2003 16:02

My son is also really scared of certain noises, hairdryers, hoovers and fireworks in particular. As he gets older he understands a bit more but last week we were at an event which had fireworks and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He likes to look at them but hates the noise so he spent the whole time with his hands over his ears telling me what great fun it all was! As he's got older he gets less upset and just covers his ears. This is progress - when he was a baby he would sleep through all sorts of noise but wake up in tears if a crisp packet was rustled!

Maxster · 22/06/2003 16:04

My son is also really scared of certain noises, hairdryers, hoovers and fireworks in particular. As he gets older he understands a bit more but last week we were at an event which had fireworks and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He likes to look at them but hates the noise so he spent the whole time with his hands over his ears telling me what great fun it all was! As he's got older he gets less upset and just covers his ears. This is progress - when he was a baby he would slepp through all sorts of noise but wake up in tears if a crisp packet was rustled!

Original poster

Kyliebump · 23/06/2003 09:45

Thanks so much everyone for your reassuring replies - it's interesting to think that it might be partly inherited, as I'm not great with sudden or loud noises - have also been known to stand with my hands over my ears at firework displays! I wonder if I picked up some of this sensitivity from me either genetically or during pregnancy?

It's good to know that things will get a little easier once he has more language and we can talk about these things - might not take his response away, but might make it more manageable I guess.

Thanks also for reminding me that at 13months he is still a baby - he is such an independent little soul in many ways, sometimes I tend to think of him as being older than he is, but yes, he really is still a baby just now. I think I was having one of those days where everything got out of proportion and I had visions of him being bullied at school as he burst into tears every time a whistle went in the playground!! I guess on the positive side maybe he won't be into playing with guns as he will be scared of the noise!

Thanks Davros for the Auditory Integration Training suggestion - I'm not at all offended or panicked - will look into it.

Amazingly DS didn't wake up during the really loud storms over the weekend which was quite a relief!!

GeorginaA - I'm scared of the hoover too, and it's nothing to do with the noise

Thanks again everyone!

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