Bed Wetting at 4 1/2

[Jazzymac]

Can anyone help me.

My boy has been dry at night on and off since he was 2 yrs 10mths.

I have taken him out of nappies before, but always given up because of the wet beds.

He was using the pull-up to wee in rather than go to the toilet first thing in the morning, so in Jan he took him out of pullups completely.

We get him up at 10.30 every night and he has a long wee, but more often than not he is wet.

This is not a problem as I have 3 sheets on the bed, each with a pampers bedmat underneath, so stripping the bed is quick and simple.

But what I dont understand is why 7 times out of 10, he can that go through the rest of the night and wake up dry.

We were away recently for 3 days, and instead of going to bed at 7.30 - he was going at 9.30, but was completely dry. (Still waking up at the same time). He has always been dry when on holiday.

I dont know where to go from here. He doesnt drink after 5.30 at night and goes to bed around 7.30pm.

Can anyone help.

Is there any pattern to when he wets? e.g. does he go to a certain club or do something particular that day?

I think he is still quite young to be worried - it could still sort itself out. Have you tried putting a potty in his room so that it is a less daunting task to get out of bed. And a sticker chart when he does have a dry bed (don't punish when he wets though)

I think it just comes in time, maybe he's in a deeper sleep for the first part of the night and change of routine has affected that on holidays?

My dd1 was into yr1 before I could take her out of pull-ups at night. She was such a deep sleeper and even when she was wet didn't always wake up. She was far from unusual at school. Eventually she just grew out of it.

My dd2 is dry at night at 3 years old. I didn't do anything differently.

It did help my dd1 to
1 have plenty to drink during the day (something about learning what a full bladder feels like)
2 wake her up properly if we were to take her to the loo in the night (rather than carrying her there and she'd barely register that she was going)

And remember children can't control it during sleep until their body is making the hormone needed and for some children that may be 6 or 7.

Try not to worry and cause yourself unnecessary hassle (and washing).

There is no pattern to his wetting. He does not get told off for wetting. We are not able to give him to much praise as he will use this against us when he cant have his own way.

What I mean is, if there is an issue, he will deliberately wet the bed to provoke a reaction.

He has never really used a potty, as he has an older brother who is just 6 and he just copied him.

His brother by the way was dry at 2 1/2, day and night and I can count on one had the number of accidents he has had since. So this is a whole new ball game.

We dont wake him properly, unless he needs a change of pyjamas, as he does not cope well with lack of sleep.

Do you think we should always wake him properly even if he is dry.?

The general advice is not to get your child up to wee again after he has gone to bed (unless you do wake him up properly so that he is aware what he is doing), as that is not going to help with his own awareness of what is going on with his body in the long run.

Your ds is only 4 and a half - he may be older than his big brother was, but he is still young in night-time wetting terms. Whilst he may occasionally wet the bed deliberately, the vast majority of the time it is going to be accidental. You can either perservere with him wetting the bed on a relatively regular basis and getting him to drink more in the day, but less close to bedtime (and preferably water close to bedtime, rather than blackcurrant juice, milk or citrus drinks, as these can, apparently, increase the chance of wetting at night in some children), or you could give up again for a bit, in case you do have another few years of this ahead of you and don't want to turn this into an issue for your ds. It's up to you. But don't think it is a big issue or unusual for your ds still to be doing this, because it really isn't - it is a very common issue for many parents. And don't reward him for waking up dry, as he doesn't actually have any conscious control over whether he wakes up wet or dry, so shouldn't be rewarded for an accident. You could start a reward chart for his daytime drinking, though, to incentivise that. Oh, and I think the advice is normally to avoid drinking in the last hour and a half before bedtime, having had at least 6-8 250ml drinks during the rest of the day???? Not sure on the amount of time there, though. You could try ERIC for advice on this sort of thing (childhood incontinence service) - they have a website and helpline, and don't just give advice to people with children with serious wetting problems.

Oh, and fizzy drinks should definitely be avoided anywhere near bedtime, too, if you ever give him any!

Thanks for all your replies

I've been reading all your posts with interest. I have an associated issue with my 4 1/2 boy.

He is dry all night but then wees in his bed in the morning when he's awake. It really does seem that this is the case. He was telling me yesterday that he likes the feeling of weeing in his pull-up rather than getting up to go to the toilet.

I found myself getting cross with him, which I know won't help, just because it was so intentional (he can be quite manipulative and often does things to get a reaction). So I decided to take him out of pull-ups so that he really feels it when he wees in his bed in the morning.

He did this morning so I didn't get cross at all but calmly talked to him about how it felt to be in such a wet bed.

Does this sound like the right thing to do or am I just lining myself up for a wet bed every morning? Have taken things on board from other posts about sticker charts, not drinking 1.5 hrs before bed, etc. Am still unsure about getting him out of bed to wee in the night, partly because we end up in bed so early too that it's barely worth waking him up....

Thanks!

Shawthing, I would start positive reinforcement with him. Reward him for getting up and going to the loo. Pennies towards a toy he wants, stars towards a special trip etc

jazzymac, its perfectly normal for them to be still wetting the bed at this age. They have no conscious control over it while they're asleep. Its a hormonal process thats different for every child. Docs won't even invesigate until 8 or 9 years and then most consultants won't intervene til older than that. The holiday thing doesn't surprise me, ds1 has always been the same too (luckily), no explanation for that but bodes well that there's nothing 'pathological' stopping them from being dry.

DS1 is 5.5 and has been out of pullups for about 6 months at his own request cos they're uncomfortable. He's gone from wetting 2/3 nights out of 7 to manybe a couple of times a month.

Plenty of fluids through the day (don't withhold fluids) and a wee last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Its really all you can do at this point

ok... so you say at 10.30 he is nearly always wet... could you try lifting at 10.15?