Fear of men... is this normal?

[lurkingsnurker]

DD1 (3.10) is very very wary of men. She has been like this for as long as I can remember - even with close family members like her grandads and uncles. She is obviously fine around her daddy, and there are other men in her life she is also good with - a couple of her friends' fathers, and her cm's husband for example.

Today, we were at her gym class and instead of being taken by the normal lady instructor, it was taken by a man. She freaked out, and refused to do anything until a lady instructor came to help her.

I thought it was just a phase (her grandad and uncle are a merciless teasers, so put her behaviour towards them down to their (sometimes) mean senses of humour). But today, another mother said that something must have happened to her, that her behaviour wasn't normal, and I should get her seen by a professional about it.

Hmmmm... initially I dismissed it. But then searched the archives on mumsnet, expecting to find parallel experiences... nada. nothing.

So should I worry? Or is this just a phase, as I thought?

I have a theory

In our ancient past, a strange man meant danger, and we retain this knowledge or instinct in our lower cerebral cortex, strongly as babies and young children and it fades as experience teaches us otherwise

So no, not odd, merely an ancient survival technique IMO

HTH

I actually thought that most young children went through a phase of not liking men tbh.

If she is happy with men that she knows and not with strangers, then I would say clever girl, she is as BALD says doing what is right to survive until she has learnt better.

I used to be like this as a child, especially with my uncle

Until I was about 5 or 6 I think.

Just to agree I too thought this was normal

I have known at least 12 children like this, normal IME

Thank you... you have put my mind at rest. BALD's theory makes sense.

My friend's baby hates men, except her daddy.

I was like this too as a child. Once at swimming lessons I refused to get in when it suddenly changed to a man teacher! I was fine with gradad uncle etc but was bridesmaid for some of parents friends and hated it when the man wanted a kiss when leaving even though he was lovely. My little boy used to be wary of men too.

Just to add - I was terrified of men as a child, my poor mother had to change my doctor, dentist, everything, to make sure I got to see a woman or I would freak out.

I was ok with family members but once I was at my grand mothers house and my uncle dropped in - he had shaved off his moustache and I didn't recognise him, the neighbours ended up coming around to see if I needed to be taken to hospital I screamed so loud

It is normal, she will, I'm sure grow out of it and what a mean woman to suggest something must have happened to your dd to warrant seeing someone!