Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Please help my 7yr old DD find her volume control

12 replies

SnotBaby · 22/02/2010 22:30

I'd love to hear from anyone who has solved this problem...

My DD has always been LOUD. Even when a baby, I found going out with her hard as she would shriek and squeal (happily). Toddlerhood, shouting and squealing continued. As she learned to talk fluently, the problem only got worse.

She's 7 in a couple of weeks and we have had a big heart to heart this evening. We had visitors earlier- met Mum's new boyfriend for the first time and she was yelling all the way through, he is a nice bloke but I didn't hear anything he said and I could see him shrinking from the noise. I told her to quieten down a few times, but after he'd gone I told her I was cross that an important moment for Grandma and me had been spoiled by "the noise" (I am careful not to say "your voice" as I don't want to destroy the poor kid).

A lot came out. She confessed that children at school run away from her with their hands over their ears. It's not so much that she talks too much (although she is a chatterbox) it's that the volume is permanently set to 11. People often step back, startled, when she starts to talk. Her hearing is fine. I am skilled in active listening, and check regularly that she knows she is being heard, so it's not an attention-grabbing thing. Even in the cinema she will yell "Pass the popcorn!" rather than whisper, even if I shushed her 30 seconds ago.

She is a gentle little soul really and very worried about what other people think of her. I can see that it's beginning to lose her friends, and that's sad. Has anyone solved this?

OP posts:
luciemule · 22/02/2010 22:43

Could she join a dram group like Stage Coach perhaps? The way they use lots of different ways to communicate and portray different situations etc might get her listening more to others and herself too. My DD isn't quite like your DD but she does get very loud sometimes. But as soon as I shush her, she realises. Have you asked her teacher how she gets her to quieten in class and if it's a problem in class?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/02/2010 22:43

have you actually had her hearing checked?

DOes she have any other traits, apart from the loudness? I am thinking of impulsive behaviour, being in your face/unaware of peoples' personal space, is she overaffectionate, is she co ordinated in her movements, can she ride a bike?

luciemule · 22/02/2010 22:46

Suddenly remembered watching a programme about either acting or singing and the person was the opposite of your DD. They couldn't make their voice loud enough to be heard on stage and so the coach took them to a lonely beach and let them shout really loudly and then told them to get quieter and quieter and then louder and louder etc. It enabled the person to really hone in and listen to their own voice at lots of different volumes and enabled them to control the sound they needed at the right time. Maybe that could work for your DD and if not, you've had a nice trip out too

SnotBaby · 22/02/2010 22:54

BALD, yes to all of those I'm afraid... She was assessed by an ed psych last year and he was of the opinion that she wasn't on the autistic spectrum - this wasn't a surprise to me, but he also didn't think she showed signs of dyspraxia, which did surprise me. Also seen a speech and language therapist (school forgot to inform me so I wasn't there ), who has yet to write to me with her findings.

It's parents' evening tomorrow - I've been trying to get hold of the SENCO for weeks to talk over how the ed psych's recommendations are going, so that needs a discussion, too.

I just feel that she needs some help that I don't know how to give. Sorry, grizzling now.

OP posts:
SnotBaby · 22/02/2010 22:57

Luciemule we tried a dance/drama group, but she didn't like it and started sitting at the back just waiting for it to finish! The beach suggestion is a good one, will try that, thank you

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/02/2010 23:02

yy I have some experience of dyspraxia, and from your OP it kind of jumped at me

dyspraxia foundation here

good luck with SENCO

battle on with getting a second opinion from a different ed psych?

luciemule · 22/02/2010 23:07

Also, could you get her a music system or tape recorder that can record her own voice. Let her try stuff out on there and explain to her that she needs to change the loudness of her voice etc so that she can hear it when it plays back. I wonder whether it's not what she hears, but how she hears, or doesn't hear her own voice but I guess if she's had tests, they would have shown that too.

SnotBaby · 22/02/2010 23:15

Thank you BALD. I will check that out. It does seem to fit, doesn't it? May I ask what your experience with dyspraxia is if you've time?

Thanks LM. We have tried that - making up plays with different voices, then videoing them, etc. She is capable of talking quietly with a lot of focus and instruction. 10 seconds later it is forgotten, like at the cinema. She just seems not to appreciate that top volume is not appropriate most of the time.

OP posts:
defineme · 22/02/2010 23:21

Have you posted your concerns in special needs? The wealth of knowledge there is amazing. Though you've had very good advic ehere too.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 23/02/2010 10:36

sorry forgot to come back

I have cared for a child with dyspraxia, raised concerns with parents before dx, supported them through the process, wrote letters to various agencies at parent's requests, learned how best to care for this partic child, worked out behaviour management appropriate to their needs etc etc etc

(am a CM)

SnotBaby · 23/02/2010 19:38

Thank you BALD, that's helpful.

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 23/02/2010 19:39

you are v welcome

New posts on this thread. Refresh page