4 month old hates car seat

[KatyS36]

Hi,

can anyone offer any ideas or any support?

I've got a 4 month old daughter who absolutly hates tavel by car, and is inconsolable for the whole journey.

we try to minimise car travel as much as possible, normally not more than one journey a day or 10-20 minutes but she hates it.

she has a mirror and toys attached to the car seat handle

she has a low boredom threshold and likes a lot of attention, so this could be adding to the problem

I'm just finding it so upsetting taking her anywhere, has anyone got any ideas? public transport isn't a viable option where we live

thanks

katy

you have my sympathy! both mine were like this in the car when they were little (now 6 and 1). Can't really offer anything very useful to help I'm afraid, sounds like you're doing the right stuff. Have you tried getting someone to sit in the back with her? That might help although not always practical. We just tried to avoid the car as much as possible and eventually they each decided that it wasn't really that bad (by about 5/6 months I think they were tolerating it). Now they're OK although both whinge in the car and would rather go by train or bus! DD has just recently moved into her forward facing seat and shes much happier in that but thats still a way off for you. Hope things improve for you soon.

We have a maxi-cosi rear facing for dd (4 months). She was much happier once we took the extra padding/head cushion thing out, I assume you've already tried this if applicable?

Both mine were like this too.it is horrendous I remember one trip to Wales from London we were driving at night when she was asleep but she woke and cried terribly,no services for 20 miles by which time I was also crying and shouting at dh to find somewhere to stop,poor dh probably close to crying too.I always sat in the back next to the baby as I don't drive,so it was slightly easier in that I could touch dd and try to console her with toys etc,but even given that we really dreaded any journey over 20 minutes.I even paid out a vast sum for another new car-seat with DD1 in case it was the reason,it wasn't.All I can say is gradually it got better,and they tolerated longer and longer journeys.

DS was like this at that age as well. He was better if I put his car seat in the front (you can only do that if it is a rear-facing carseat and if you don't have airbags/can turn the airbag off). I think it's because he could see me when he was in the front whereas he couldn't in the back. I also used to carry dummies - he didn't use them at home but I would always have one available for car journies just in case. He grew out of it by about 6 months so hang in there, it won't last forever.

Do you time your drives well? My DD cries if she is about to fall asleep and it can last a while if we hit lights etc so we time any driving for when she is clean, fed and not about to sleep. Unless it's a long journey, then we go at night. I also tell her where we are going and how long the journey will be - she's only 5 months, but the talking is for reassurance really. She doesn't have any toys in the car but is fine.
Can she reach the toys? Does the mirror mean you can see her? You can get a mirror so you can see her in the rear view which may help.

My DS2 was like this - I dreaded going in the car with him. Think it was becasue he is a tummy sleeper (I know, I know - he had a breathing monitor...) and hated being on his back. He grew out of it by about 6/7 months.

By the way, with DD1 it was the opposite, we had to time drives so she would sleep.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, and for your support. most we've already tried, but there are a couple of new ones there.

I guess we just hope she grows out of it, but it's a relief we're not the only ones.

Singing? Without the radio. Not necessarily tuneful just loud and with unexpected surprise bits!

Oh my ds was like this, was horrendous, didn't like the pushchair either. We tried everything, forward facing seats, toys, books, distractions, me sitting in the back etc. In the end we just had to put up with it and eventually he grew out of it when he was 2. He's 2 and half now and I still have to sit in the back with him if it's longer than 15 minute journey, he just gets so bored.

I second singing,that has got us all through many a crisis point in the car,also,if you are in the back with the baby,mine were completely mesmerised by me turning a bottle of water up and down so the water slooshed this way and that,(this was when they were under about 8m)and I would sing along with the slooshing.Sometimes this sent them to sleep and it often stopped them crying.

My DD was the same, have you tried a different car seat, could you borrow one to test? We ended up borrowing a friends Maxi Cosi rearfacing seat (we had a Graco one) and it made a big difference. She's now 11mo and in a forward facing seat and perfectly content in the car, so there is hope!

Yes try singing. I was really upset once when DS was crying in the car, I was having a lift from a friend, and they didn't want to stop because their DS would start crying and if I couldn't settle my DS, then we would have both of them crying and that wouldn't help anyone. (Which I understood but was still a bit upset) - my friend suggested that we all start singing, and I felt very self conscious but we just sang any old rubbish and it actually worked - DS' favourite song was "One man went to mow" for a while because of this! Anything with sound effects/surprising bits goes down well (We went to the animal fair, Row row your boat - crocodile verse - etc etc)

I would also just have her checked by the doctor just to make sure she isn't in pain when in that particular position, esp as she is so young. Worth ruling out.