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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

how much tv is ok for pre schoolers/toddlers??

40 replies

steph1512 · 21/02/2010 14:23

ok so know this has prob been done a million times,

but my panic/guilty mother head really seem to struggle with the tv.

my dds are 3yr8mth and nearly 2yrs

i am always worried it is on too much but at the same time still end up putting it on!

iv been trying to stick to the 2hr a day max guildline so formed a bit of a daily routine that works most days but does also slip on weak days!!

it goes like this,

bit of tv after breakfast while i get myself showered and ready..usually 30min max

then after lunch/preschool younger dd has an hr sleep n me and elder dd usually do half of that time tv and half something together ..drawing/baking etc.

that was it but recently i have sometime not been able to resist temptation and it goes on at 430 ish while i make their dinner find it hard work sometimes to do dinner with them around my feet!

my eldest didnt watch any tv untill second dd arrived then it started while i was b.feeding etc n gradually creeped up.

prob is sometimes like today where the weather is awful n i have a whole day in ahead of me after a night of 3hr sleep(im35wk preg n not sleeping well at all) to motivate so my times have gone out of the window today.

not including holidays a usual wk include 5ams a pre school for my eldest and other play dates activites etc such as ballet swimming so easier to fill the time.

i am concerned that i might struggle to entertain the dds in a few wks when baby arrives esp as it falls over the easter break so im really hoping i can stear away from putting it on too much.

wud be interested in knowing your thought n ideas n how much your children watch tv etc.

ps i only ever have cbeebies which i like to think at least doesnt have anything negative on

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pinksapphire · 21/02/2010 15:43

I think you sound like me in a few months time! I am (only just) pg and have a 3.3 yo and a 21 mo and they pretty much watch as much tv as yours. I think the important things are balancing it with other activities (which you do), choosing what they watch and if tv while you shower etc makes your life a bit easier then it's fine. I don't think there's anything wrong with using it for 'quiet time' while your younger child is having a nap. It only becomes a problem imo when it's on all the time and it is all your children spend time doing!

Just my opinions - hope this helps! x

ememum · 21/02/2010 20:42

That's about the same as my DD watches, but I'm always fretting it's too much, though we do lots of other stuff too. Interested to see what other people say.

McBitchy · 21/02/2010 20:49

I agree that it is a difficult one and was once like you. i found that it was Me that was using it as a crutch and once i started trying to lessen the amount that the dcs watched - they stopped being so clingy and became better at entertaining themselves

you don't have to be a super mum and do baking and stuff - try to teach them to occupy themselves with games toys ( alternate them if you can to prevent boredom) so that you can have a break. I am NO supermum and love a break from the dcs but it is not a good thing if it ends up with you feeling bad. I would say look at their toys - see what they love and work on getting them involved in 'crazes' where all they want to do is play....

hth - it's so hard when you are pg too - that's the hardest it x

febes · 21/02/2010 21:01

I have DD 2.3 and DS 9months and we watch cbeebies in the morning after breakfast while I get them dressed and I check my emails . For about an hour I guess. We then normally head out to toddler groups and come home for lunch and they both go up to nap. I try not to put it back on until after tea 5ish until bath/bed time 6ish so another hour.

Some days its on more. I have to hide the remote from DD or she turns it on. She seems to be a bit addicted . We also didn't watch it until DS arrived and I used it when I was BFing.

I think give yourself a break. You are heavily PG and its not like they are watching any old crap.

nickytwotimes · 21/02/2010 21:06

I really think most of us are too hung up on this.
Sounds like your kids have a good balance and they will certainly not come to any harm if you have to rely on the telly a bit more round about birth time.
It will soon be the spring adn they will be more interested in going outdoors.
Don't stress!

Original poster

steph1512 · 21/02/2010 21:18

i agree with all of you and think tv does seem to be a stress area, i go from thinking it cant do them any serious harm and im not super mum to on the other hand thinking im just using this as an excuse to cop out from entertaining them myself!

i also have friends you have cbeebies on all day in the background. so at least im not doing that, they do also entertain themselves but seem to be having a phase of sometimes, not always, arguing as my eldest will put so much effort into making something or doing something like a puzzle n my youngest is straight over taking it apart!

i am soooo ready fro some better weather really hoping it will make the easter n summer hols easier with all three as we can get out even if just in the garden. feel like this cold weather has lasted 4ever. flet like crying when i got up this morning to see everywhere covered in snow..again!!

been to the park twice is the last few wks with dds thinkin as long as well wrapped up they will be fine..i was wrong tears and asking to go home as it was too cold. was saying -1 when i got back in car poor g girls

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 21/02/2010 21:25

God I could have started this thread myself... dd is 7 weeks old and ds watches far too much tv I know. Bfing seems to take so much of my time, but I have found that if I don't turn it on in the first place ds is pretty good at finding something else to do... if it's on, it's much harder to turn off. He always wants to watch just five more minutes.

FWIW I don't think there's any serious harm using a bit of tv during tough times like this, bfing a newborn in winter when you've got a toddler is tough, I've spent many a day freezing my nips off in the park feeding dd while ds runs around so I figure I deserve an afternoon in front of the telly once in a while. It doesn't last forever this stage.... come the summer I fully intend ds spending the whole time in the garden while I'm feeding dd.

verybusyspider · 21/02/2010 21:46

fwiw I have a 3yr, 2yr and 8 months and we used to have tv on about the same amount of time you do, prob a little bit more for ds1 as he is hanging after preschool but won't nap, it seems to be that only way to get him to relax if I need to jobs (if I have chance we read stories). I'm just getting to the point where I want it to be off more now as I agree that they will entertain themselves better if its off, I'm finding its me putting it on after breakfast rather than them asking

I also agree with who ever said that its great the telly isn't on all the time, it sounds like you are doing other stuff and the telly does go off so you are being selective about what they watch. My HV told me when ds3 was born that sitting watching telly together and chatting about it counts as quality time when you are heavily pregnant or with a newborn try not to worry too much, its a useful tool and it won't be forever when dc3 is older you'll cut it back to what you feel more comfortable with, once you are getting more sleep and have more energy

Original poster

steph1512 · 22/02/2010 20:12

wow very busy spider sounds like close age gaps. hows it all gone so far!

i also do the same sometimes end up suggesting putting tv on n they havent even asked!

althou my eldest does ask to when she get bored more than anything i think. she to def needs a bit of wind down time to after preschool as she is so tired n wont sleep in day anymore plus that combinde with ballet one pm swimming another and usually visits to friends inbetween couple of pms a wk.

also as bad as it is, if my youngest is alseep after lunch n my eldest watches sum tv it leaves me some time to either prep dinner4 later..or just have a tea break n check mumsnet

i am not great at staying in if u didnt notice hehe something ill prob have to get more used to soon!?!

im hoping if there as some restrictions now (althou may go out of window in approx5wk time) then my second dd will not expect too much tv nad my eldest starts school in sept so that wont leave much time4it either

OP posts:

ACretinoidPsychoanal · 22/02/2010 20:17

Mine is on in the background all day.

Why do so many of you when saying how long you have it on for?

My kids dont watch tv all day long, in face, they hardly watch it, even when cbeebies is on, but it wont hurt to be on.

SPBInDisguise · 22/02/2010 20:22

DD is 22 weeks & i'm only now getting to the stage where its not on almost constantly (though he wouldnt always be watching). watches more than most on this thread too as hes up at 5ish so i'm screaming for beebies to start at 6

Original poster

steph1512 · 22/02/2010 20:25

i habe to say i have noticed a pattern that friends who do have it on all the time seems to result in their children not really paying much attention to it.

i did say one day i wonder if i had done the same from a young age my eldest dd might not even notice it..i have to say most of the time but not always when its on she is sat completely engaged so i would worry it wud be the same all day if i had it on much more

OP posts:

SPBInDisguise · 22/02/2010 20:29

prefer for it not to be on all the time tbh

ImSoNotTelling · 22/02/2010 20:29

We have it on all the time an awful lot.

I really can't be bothered to get worried/guilty about it. DD is bright cheerful and happy. Fit and healthy.

Like many of you it started when I was pg with DD2 and just went from there.

Having said that even before I had the cbeebies the telly was on all teh time with my stuff.

I accept I am just someone who always has the telly on!

zapostrophe · 22/02/2010 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Undercovamutha · 22/02/2010 20:38

I think it depends WHY and WHEN you have it on. We have it on after lunch for an hour, as DD (3.6) is in a total state after pre-school and needs to sit still and chill! It then goes on again for an hour after tea as DD normally has a relapse of tiredness and is generally a disaster-zone unless she is sitting still!

We used to only have it on for half an hour before bed, but like the rest of you it went on a lot when I was bfing DS. I too notice that DD's friends who have the TV on in the background all day, don't pay much attention to it. However, I couldn't stand to have it on all day, and like to try to coincide at least some of it with DS's nap so he doesn't watch too much (although he is only just starting to notice it now at 11m).

Original poster

steph1512 · 22/02/2010 20:46

zapostrophe interested to know if your pre schools have every had much tv..i respect you fro not having tv licence think its great that they entertain themselves..do u have to do alot with them or r they good at self entertainment?

as sad as it is i look froward to my own dose of trashy tv in the evenings to wind down.

undercovamutha..agree bout if its on during younger dds nap it means she is watching yet..althou i have been luckily as she has only just started to show any interest n is 2in april..she like the theme tunes usually then starts playing with simething when thats finished

OP posts:

Original poster

steph1512 · 22/02/2010 20:48

sorry meant she is watching less

OP posts:

cobis · 22/02/2010 21:25

Agree with the guilt thing. DS (20m) only watched a very small amount (15 mins, 4 days a week, appropriate programming, watched with either DH or myself), but I was made to feel absolutely terrible about it by health service. And I do mean terrible. So now watches none.

Wish this thread had come up six months ago or so. DH and I really took to heart all the things they said about any tv at all before age 2 and spent months feeling like we had really messed up...

GColdtimer · 22/02/2010 21:40

I honestly think it is about balance. DD (3.10) only needs about 10.5 hours sleep a night so that leaves 13.5 hours. If she watches TV for 2 of them (or even a little bit more) that is still an awful lot of quality time we have for activities, reading, seeing friends, playing together, feeding the ducks, going to the park, baking, drawing, painting, etc, etc, etc.

And I am 39 weeks pg so I need it!

McBitchy · 22/02/2010 21:56

cobis - i have never heard anything about the health service advice - how awful for you - tell me what they said?

zapostrophe - i am with you there.

Not sure why the tv is on all day in some houses if the children are not watching it?

zapostrophe · 22/02/2010 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

McBitchy · 22/02/2010 22:03

i think my hv would just say everything in moderation tbh - sounds a bit 'nanny state' to me

MrsKitty · 22/02/2010 22:15

Cobis - I had the same - Around the time my DS was 10mths or so old and was watching a single episode of ITNG most days I was made to feel very bad about allowing my DS to watch any TV or even have the radio on in the background! (Was told having radio on would interfere with his ability to concentrate!) DS got used to the silence and now it can be a battle to have any background music on generally (he gets his fair share of TV though )

I realise now that the advice I was given was utter bollocks and will be subscribing to an 'everything in moderation' approach with DD (5mths) and DS (now 3)

Karoleann · 22/02/2010 22:24

My 3.5 year old watches TV from when he wakes up - 6am/7am til 8am. Then 30 mins after lunch if he's at home (so 4 x a week). Then 45 mins before bed. 6.45-7.30pm.
(he doesn't need a huge amount of sleep.)
My 20 month old amazingly has no interest in the TV at all (like me!!)
Most of the kids tv is okay. We tend to sky plus a lot. Hanny Manny, Kerwhizz, Mickey mouse, Igum Ogum, Mr Benn, Guess with Jess are all favourites at the moment and they seem fairly harmless.

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