Teenage 2 year old

[mooki]

Aaaaarrgh. I do feel somewhat better for having read this: mumsnet guide but does anyone else need support and sympathy with a button-pushing 2 year old?

Going to bed/getting out of bed,
Going to the childminder's/leaving the childminder's
Putting clothes on / taking clothes off -
whatever it is that needs to happen, she wants to do the opposite.

I am all for time and negotiation but it just feels like I spend my life being exaggeratedly perky and reasonable whilst she adopts selective hearing policies, barks demands at me and randomly veers between hatred and unwillingness to let me go!

I had a shocking 4 hour drive home from work today because of bad weather, I got home only for her to greet me with hysterics and 'I don't want mummmy' closely followed by 'get a jelly baby for me.'

I know, I know its not intentional but I'm tired and grumpy and just was hoping to get a bit more unconditional love and adoration before the teenage years.

Oh mooki I hear you. I too am waiting for the "negativism" to be over.

Much as I love ds, he drives me and dh BONKERS.

I have an ill 2.8yo - the negativity levels are sucking me into a black hole of teenage toddler angst!

erm she's 2 and you are?? hopefully a bit older.

She's also bound to be a bit confused about her loving mum who leaves her for a long time at her minders I'm trying not to judge here but if you are kind and consistent and DON"T dole out sweeties she'll get over the normal stage. I speak as an ex paid nanny, minder teacher, and mum of 3. Good luck.

erm ppeatfruit I think this is meant to be a lighthearted thread - and you do appear to be judging

My little girl (also two) is just the same. Throws tantrums evertime we have to do something.

I just try and give her lots of notice when I need to change her nappy, ie "in 5 minutes I'm going to do your nappy" or "bedtime in 10 minutes" then do a count down "5 more minutes Jess", etc, etc. I think it does help a bit but she still throws the trantrums, I'm hoping (but probably kidding myself) that its just a phase and she'll grow out of it shortly, probably by the time she's 25 !!!!

I sympathise

yes meep you're right i spose. Sorry If you can inv olve the 2year old in the decisions about her life and ignore the tantrums it helps. they 're only trying to assert their individuality it's normal REALLY!!

We often have days like this - my DD is 2.5. Giving choices seems to help. Instead of "are you going to get dressed?' we do 'Would you like the blue tshirt or the red tshirt?'. That diffuses quite a few situations, also a wee bit of bribery - ie, if you get out of bed now we can play with your favourite toy/read a nice story etc. Maybe not the best examples but its the end of a long week for me..

Agree with you, Shazbean. Bribery and the 'one, two, three' threat (with a consequence) seems to work with my 3yr old DS! We've never had to introduce or use a naughty step with him.

To keep my sanity, I've found that if I lower my expectations then I become less stressed and angry with him. For example, if I expect getting him dressed to take half an hour then I'm not surprised if it actually does, and I allow for it in my morning routine so that we're not late getting out of the door.

Ah forgot the old 1,2, 3 - also a winner...