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Help...im new and need some others opinions!

2 replies

fireflybug · 18/02/2010 21:18

Would you be able to help me, its regarding my son, he is 5.
We seem to be having a few difficulties and i wonderd if you
could help me in relation to what i should do??

DS is a child that is full of energy, he is a bright child, his
teachers have commented upon his abilities, esp with speaking the
welsh language, we are not welsh speakers and he is fantastic with the
language. DS has a definate thirst for knowledge, he sometimes cant
get enough, he has a good ability to apply his knowledge too. His
writing is not so good, but i think he is ambidextrous, he uses both
hands and writes mirror images. DS will concentrate as long as you want if you or the subject
interests him, he is a very interatcive child and is always asking
questions. He is very sociable, sometimes extremely sociable, he will
talk to anyone and anywhere. However seems to handle himself better if
in the company of older children or younger chidren (todlers or
babies), DS is very protective of people around him and very
thoughtful about his sister (she is nearly 4) for instance if he is
given a treat he will ask whoever if he can have another for his
sister. DS though is very excitable and happy, but sometimes this
spills into him being very boisterous and physical, DS is not
pre-meditated, but seems to have no awareness when he is excited about
personal space or interaction, he shows no awareness of social cues
that
other kids dont want to play. DS seems to struggle when he has no
structure or focus, he can be distracted easily. DS is a typical what
you see is what you get child, people or environment play no part on
what he will do or what he wont do. He is also reasonably honest,
sometimes to his own detriment, he will also make up stories which
sometimes gets him to trouble but he doesnt seem to realise this, he
told me this week he was in the heads room for hitting another child,
so i talked to him about this and reinforced good behaviour, when i
asked about this in the school, there was no incident!
I am not concerned about his ability or that he may have a
disability, i have done my reasearch and nothing seems to "fit",
he also sleeps really well and eats really well.
DS and his class mates are on their 4th teacher since sept 08, not counting any supply he
has had. This in istelf is concerning me. The teacher he had from nov
08-july 09 made fab progress with him and he really had a gleaming
report, im fearing now its all being undone, his previous teacher sep
09- dec 09 made good progress with him (had a few ups and downs) by
using simple techniques like a red square for him to sit and stay on
whilst on the carpet with other children, this worked, also during free
play DS struggled so she give him options to choose and directed his
attention, this worked. However his new teacher hasnt had this
information, so i have told her to use these techniques with him and
she started yesterday to introduce them. She seems like she is
struggling to manage DS in her classroom. I have been called into the
heads office several times since sept and twice in the last two weeks.
Im also informed that another childs parents have complained about DS
and another child for hitting their child. i was furious with the
school for punishing DS based on the childs/parents account, (no
member of staff witnessed the incident but apparently DS said he did)
i am all for consquences to behaviour and would be the first to support
the school but i feel like they are not helping DS proactively, they
are just dealing with incidents as they happen not looking at what or
how they can focus his energy. I have thought about ringing the access
and inclusion dept and speaking to an educatioal psychologist regarding
him, so we could put some positive strategies into place for him which
would help him and the teacher.
i have taught him to recognise when he is angry, and have told
him its ok to be angry
but its not ok to hit or hurt others, DS does not think before
reacting on his instinct, he must take a deep breathe and clap his
hands, this then allows him time to collect himself and not hit out in
frustration, this works most of the time.

He has also been wet through the night during the school wk and dry when not in school.
He has been more difficult recently, we seem to be having a power struggle and he is begginning to answer back and fight his own corner..im worried too that i may have create some of this, i think i might over parent, im always watching him ready to correct his behaviour. i dont let him get away with anything! All his teachers have consistently agreed though that he is not naughty, he is disruptive and takes their attention away from everything else.

Help?? i dont know whether this is just normal 5yr old stuff or something deeper...

Thankyou..and Helloooo!!!

Firebugfly

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 18/02/2010 21:40

This reply has been deleted

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fireflybug · 19/02/2010 22:01

Hi Pixieonaleaf,
Thankyou for your reply and the welcome!! What a brill way to get advice or positive information!!!
When his is with me he is brill, we talk lots and i am always very clear with him. He listens to me very well and we rarely have any issues. He is good with his sister, but they have a typical brother sister relationship, fighting, arguing, loving each other,be bestest friends..ect. He can get rough with her but she copes with it well and will give as good as she gets. If he has a friend over they play lovely, i rarely have to intervene. I am always on tender hooks when going to a kids party, due to him just getting so excited about being with his friends that he gets rough and is everywhere, he is a big boy for 5 too, which dosnt help! He is in age 7 clothes and has size 13.5 feet. So when he gets rough he can hurt!
But he is also quite fragile, if i have praised him, then say an hour later i give him a row, he will get very emotional/frustrated that he was good and i was happy with him and in his eyes thats all gone. He also has some confidence issues, whilst not very obvious at all, like swimming, he was petrified of the water and he has made fab progress but that fear is still there, if he goes just slightly out of his comfort zone then he will have a total melt down, with his writing he will try very hard but if he belives he has made a mistake or its not good then he will have a meltdown, even if im praising him, he will get really angry with me an himself, then he will refuse to engage at all.
He is a very tidy person, he enjoys tidying up and is the first there to do it, he is not adverse to mess but i think he knows to tidy up or to help is a good thing and he can attract praise for doing it.
He is a really sweet boy and is very loving, every evening after reading a story to him i have to cudle him like a baby, he is very spesific about how i do it!! and insists its only me not his dad coz his dad cant do it properly!!
i have arranged a meeting with the head, his teacher and the SENCO for after half term and hoping that they wil be clear about what the concerns are within school, at the moment they are not being very clear, when i spoke to the head about a meeting she was almost back tracking saying things werent really that bad and that he was setling slowly and she felt that it was more of a blip and the company he was keeping. Well for me thats not good enough if the school feel it fit to call me in and if a parent is complaining on the basis of what my child apparently did, then i want a meeting, no questions, i do not want his education being affected and i certainly dont want him to be labeled by the teachers or other parents, if there is a problem, but even if this is a stage he is going through, we still need to work together to help him through!

Thankyou again, sorry about the length of my reply, i am just very passionate about getting things right for him and helping him in anyway possible. xxxxx

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