Toddler chewing but refusing/being unable to swallow food?

[meep]

My dd1 (2.8yo) has never been the best eater, but she does eat.

However she has recently taken to putting the food in her mouth, chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing and chewing - and not swallowing.

It goes on for so long that she starts to cry when I ask her to swallow her mouthful.

Have tried being firm with her, cajoling her, bribing her , helping her have a drink to help, showing her how I can swallow food - nothing works.

I am loathe to let her spit the food out - we have just managed to get through the phase of "this is yucky" then bleurgh out comes the food.

Today she was howling so I got her down from the table and walked away from her. She eventually came running through to me to tell me the food was now in her tummy - cue lots of praise.

It is driving me demented and I am finding it so hard not to lose my temper with her

Any MN words of wisdom?

we have had this with dd1 (now 4 and a half) and going through it with dd2- 3 in 3 months. i think itmust be a phase. i now am careful that one mouthful has to be swllowed befor ethe next goes in and i think it is an attention seeking thing so i either totally ignore but mostly i do get cross. she has missed out on dessert so many times now through doing it and it drives me potty too! it is happening a bit less i guess but definitley has caused lots of tears. so not being v helpful but lots of sympathy and i think it mst be a normal phase.

Has she perhaps got a sore throat?

she does indeed have a sore throat - but that is today - not last week or the week before that!!

Glad others have gone through it - it probably is a bit of an attention seeking thing. Dd2 has been really ill for the last 3 weeks and poor dd1 has been plonked in front of cbeebies while I dealt with a vomiting baby. She has had lots of one on one time with me as well though.

I know today is probably a result of her going down with a virus, her baby sister being back at nursery with her and nursery deciding to start potty training her.

I am trying to be kind and not get cross - aaaggghhh!

But she does do this when everything in the meep household is toatally normal.

I guess it is just another toddler quirk sent to try us!

meep does she do this with particular types of food eg meat or all types?

Don't respond. Don't respond. Don't respond. Concentrate on enjoying your own food, having a pleasant conversation with the others at the table, etc. Don't ignore her, just don't respond to her eating style either.

Near the end of the meal warn her - "Lunch will be over soon and Mummy will clear the plates away." Then do so when everyone else has finished. If she objects, give her one more - short - chance, then clear up and pay no attention to her complaints.

When she does eat, respond positively. Not by praising her swallowing, but by praising her behaviour or by sharing her pleasure "I'm glad to see you're enjoying your carrots so much. Shall we have them again tomorrow, or would you like peas instead?" "How nicely you use your spoon." "You ate up all your lunch so quickly, that now we have time to go to the park!" and so on.

She may not eat much for a few meals, but, eventually, she will make up her mind to eat, as not eating doesn't get her any attention.

More easily said than done, of course - been there done it got the T-shirt (and the white hair) .

BTW, if she has a bunged up nose, or enlarged tonsils/adenoids, she may find swallowing difficult or unpleasant, because for a moment she can't breathe. Stodgy food, like bread or potatoes, is worst for this.

dd3 and now ds both have done this at about the same age, dd3 grew out of it ages ago (is now 5) not sure about ds (2)

it's infuriating and makes me although I try very hard to hide it

in dd3's case it started becuase she didn't seem to realise she could say no to food if offered / pushed into eating it by someone else (often grandparents trying to be helpful!). With ds it's raw carrot that seems to cause the problem, we just have to keep him away from them!

It is a phase though and it will pass

thanks everyone

She tends to do it with meat and sugarsnap peas (she loves them - eats them raw - but doesn't swallow them !)

I do a lot of "mummy will take the food away if you don't start eating/swallowing" then count to three. Maybe that's showing too much attention to what she's doing?

I found a white eyebrow hair yesterday - it must all be getting to me

Any tips for what to do if the meal is completely finished - her baby sister has had pudding - and she is still sitting there with a mouthful of food? Do I get her to spit it out - or just ignore and get her down from the table letting her wander around with food still in her mouth (thinking choking hazard here?!). Or do what I have been doing and just leaving her at the table while I clear up and hope that she has swallowed the food by teh time I've finished?

ime it doesnt get swallowed until the issue is forced. then a stick or carrot (not literally!) usually do the trick. i cannot abide spitting out and wont allow it. but your house, your rules!

I'm not for spitting out either. She went through that phase a few months ago and she got told off every time she did it - so I don't want to undo all our good work!

She just got herself into such a state about it today - I suspect because she isn't feeling well - and she just sat & sobbed with a mouthful of cold chewed chicken & pasta.

I do allow the food to be spat out. I don't like it and would really prefer that it didn't happen, but my children are very stubborn. I've tired sitting them there until it's eaten, but it doesn't usually work. On a 'good' day, they just sit there watching me for the entire mealtime. On a bad day they just spit anyway or it comes out anyway when they've been sobbing for a while (sigh).

If they really don't want to swallow it, then I let the food be spat out into a tissue or onto a plate or something similar. The child is then removed from the table and kitchen and no more food given until the next mealtime.

I do tell them off for spitting it out, but it's better than the situation is dealt with and over rather than dragged out until they give in (which is always very distressing for all concerned).