Leaving your DD alone at a restaurant table while you go to the loo?

[DawnAS]

I'm just interested as to what others would do and what seems a reasonable solution.

My BF recently went on a day-course in a nearby City. Her DH and DD went along for the ride and while my BF was in the Uni, her DH took their DD for lunch. The DD is 7 years old.

Her DH needed to go to the toilet so left the DD at the table, asking the waiting staff to keep an eye on her and that he would be back quickly.

When my BF found out about this, she went absolutely mad at her DH, saying that he should have taken her with him.

Now, I am not passing judgement on my BF, but did ask what she expected him to do. She said that he should have taken her to the Gents loo with him. Now, I wasn't sure whether that would actually be worse, her stood inside the mens loos (especially if there are urinals in use! ) because it would surely be embarassing for her DD aswell as any men who were in there.

But what is the solution? Just interested really as I have a young DD and hadn't actually thought of having to deal with this scenario. At what age should men stop taking their young DDs to the loo with them?

Just to finish the story, my BF admitted that actually she didn't really know what the answer was... Not that she would have admitted that to her DH...

I'd have left her, depending on what the place was like maybe.

Dh and I have always taken the dc with us into whichever loo we used, regardless of gender. So that's a non-issue for us. Our eldest is 9, so he will soon stop coming into the Ladies with me. That will be a bit of a challenge for me, because I am uneasy about him using a loo with strange men around him. But I know he will have to learn to deal wtih this, as will I.

As for leaving a 7yo alone at a restaruant table, as long as she's not worried - and understands that she must'nt leave the table - we would have no issues with that, either. Probably wouldn't even ask staff to keep an eye on them. Not the staff's job, after all, and in these days of CRBs and litigation I'm surprised that the staff agreed to do so.

I once asked a nice old lady at the next table at M&S to watch my eight-month-old while I dashed to the loo with my toddler. The baby was just sitting, not eating, just enjoying being in the cafe, so no trouble. The old lady, who'd been talking to us, looked a little surprised but was quite happy. And we were gone about three minutes.

Sometimes you have to trust other human beings.

Yes : here here abride!!

I wouldn't have an issue with a child being taken into the gents.

However, it wouldn't occur to me that a child would be abducted from a restaurant table??? Especially a 7 year old! Surely by that age (assuming they don't have any special needs) they are aware that they shouldn't go with strangers and would be fine to be left for a couple of minutes.

I would take a child under 5 with me.

'Obviously the prurient relish with which the media publicises these cases has made parents more cautious but I can't help think that in doing so they've robbed our children of their sense of adventure and instilled a needless paranoia in us all.'

And this 'smothering' is far more dangerous - because far more widespread - than the tiny chance of anything happening to an unaccompanied child. Many parents have completely lost a sense of perspective these days and are unable to differentiate between reasonable risk - you don't let a three year old cross the road alone because they can't judge the danger - and something that just ain't realistically gonna happen.