Ds's nursery has raised concerns about his hearing!!

[M2T]

When I picked up ds (2yrs) from Nursery today the assistant Manager asked me if I had noticed anything wrong with his hearing! I was so shocked. She didn't even take me to the side to ask me, she just came right out and asked in front all the staff and other Mums. I was really upset by it.

I haven't noticed much, but she said that when they play music tapes he always turns up the volume. He this to the TV since he discovered how to do it and coz he gets into trouble for it he always does it when we leave the room. I just assumed it was an attention seeking thing. He touches things he knows he's not allowed all the time. I just thought this was the seem theme.

He also ignores us at first when we tell him not to touch things. I, again, just assumed this was him testing boundaries??

His speech development is normal for his age and he doesn't shout. And if we whisper he copies us.

But now she's mentioned it I've gotten all paranoid and started to look for evidence. Dp is going to take him for a test at the clinic tomorrow, but I have all these horrible scenarios racing through my head.

Has anyone got any words of wisdom/comfort/assurance or other wise, that they can offer me.

dont worry,they were probably annoyed about him doing it!!i was told my ds right eye was really bad and theres nothing wrong with it i was also told about his hearing and tests show nothing wrong either im sure hes fine!!

Poor you, M2T. I remember going through the same thought process my with my ds because he ignored me so much of the time (but his hearing is fine, and he's now 8). What you say about your ds's speech and whispering certainly make it sound as though he's fine, I would say those were much more important indicators than turning the volume up. Alternatively, if he's had a cold or anything, he may just be a bit ore bunged up than normal. My dd had a lot of ear infections, and certainly didn't always hear normally in thw weeks after one.
The nursery don't seem to have handled it very well, do they?
Hugs to you.

Nothing to add, just sorry to hear that and hope everything's ok. Big hugs to you.

Thanks folks.

Tamum - I feel like they handled it terribly. The woman who told isn't a parent herself. She has a stepdaughter that came to live with them when she was older..... perhaps 12 or 13. Maybe she just didn't realise how much I would tear myself to shreds about it. I have even started thinking maybe its coz we always take buses (they're loud!)! I know it's ridiculous but I have convinced myself that somethings wrong. Then I started to think that it's maybe an indicator of some sort of mental problem.... lack of concentration etc. But he really seems perfectly normal and quite well behaved ....for a toddler!

Oh sweetie, it's so easy to let your thoughts run away with you with a shock like that. He sounds lovely, and I bet he's fine. I think lack of concentration is a mental problem-- one seen in ALL two year olds! I'm sure the test will reassure you. I know I'm wasting my breath, but do try not to worry. Please????
xxx

Thank you.

I just needed to hear that it's not this massive problem with him and that I've just never noticed it!

I love Mumsnet.... in fact it was dp that asked me to post this!

my daughter is partially deaf only recently picked up - considering no - one picked it up until she was 8 i think she is remarkable - that aside there is a lesson to be learned as i dont want other children to struggle through "despite" her hearing loss. my daughter is boarderline - so with the normal childhood tests she passed - get her in a room with other children - in school for instance and she has difficulties - children adapt - and she is very good at lip reading - of course she has had to do this and learn very early as no one new she was partially deaf.

so in a quiet room even with her head turned away she may be able to hear a whisper - however with the telly on she wont alwyas hear an average conversation or may often get the wrong end of the stick

she is a twin - and the irony is - teachers always asked us to get her brother's hearing checked becuase he ignored the teachers - we assured the teachers ( perversley) that he was just ignorant - not maliciuos with it - just he was in his own worldand teachers asking him or telling him to do a piece of work - wouldnt get him out of his world ( it must be nice in there he is there a lot)
this took the spotlight of my daughter and her problems

so,
get the doctor to check - get a hearing test - if its boarderline - different local authority budgets may come into play - so for instance my daughter did not get hearing aids until we moved down south becuase she is "boarder line"! its sick and they will not directly admit it but its how it works

anyway

sorry its not comfort and it might be nothing - but if your child has hearing needs - better fighting for it now than later

hth

sht postings crossed and i feel a sht now

the probability is its nothing honest

Custardo - don't feel sh*t! It's your story and it's relevant. I need to consider that it might be a real problem he has.

Mind you.... he has not trouble hearing his internal alarm at 2am telling him to come into Mum and Dads bed!

M2T, I agree the assistant manager has approached this in the wrong way. My dd is "being observed" by the hearing clinic as she has two tests (I think she is ignoring certain noises - I feel so guilty as we live on the noisiest road in the world.) Anyway, just wanted to say that it's better to get these things checked - if you haven't noticed a problem with your ds's hearing, chances are it's a tiny one (IF there even IS one). All the best, Dinny x

message withdrawn

Just go to your GP/HV and get it checked out (which you are I see) Chances are it's the usual "selective deafness" and annoying behaviour of a normal toddler. If it isn't? It's probably just bunged up ears... There are lots of things this can be. Does he hear when you whisper at him when he's not expecting it? Does he hear when you call him quietly if he's watching TV? Does he hear if you whisper "chocolate biscuit" whilst he's watching TV?

The nursery manager has handled this badly, I agree. Let us know how DS get on!

M2T .... no advice really ... just wanted to send hugs ... {{{}}}
And that manager definitely handled it in the wrong way! You should say that you didn't really appreciate the way she brought it up in front of everyone and next time if she wants to talk to you about something serious would she mind talking to you in private ???!!!

It sounds to me that he's learning how to be male with selective hearing. As for turning up the tv our nephews and my goddaughter all have the sound turned up so you can't hear yourself think. They're all older now but they've always done it, you walk in the room, turn the tv down and as soon as you leave the room they turn it back up. They also have a bad habit of sitting right on top of the tv as if they can't see. Just kids I think. My ds (3.7) will just totally blank me out (as does his father) if he doesn't want to listen or if he's doing something he considers more important. Your ds sounds pretty normal to me M2T. I agree with Ghosty though you should bring it up with the manager.

I have spoken to the HV who is arranging an appointment for ds to see her. Then she may refer him to hospital for tests!

I can't believe all this has stemmed from ds turning the volume up on a tape recorder! If I find that this woman was basically just having a dig at me coz ds kept doing this then I'll be taking this ALOT further..... I've never liked the woman and she's very blunt.

sorry m2t, didn't see this. nothing to add to all the good advice, but hope the check up allays all your fears

Agree with all the others that the nursery manager should have taken you into her office and discussed this with you in private, M2T. I think her approach was very inconsiderate and insensitive. If he can copy whispers then I bet his hearing is fine and he is just another gadget-obsessed little toddler! I hope the check-up goes well and that your fears are allayed. Let us know how he gets on.
We use buses all the time too, and they can be very loud, but my main concern is not volume but some of the interesting language ds overhears from his fellow passengers !

Update:

I phoned the Nursery to speak with the Manager, but the Dep. Manager (the woman who told me in the first place) was the only one there. So I went for the shock tactic.... I told her that I had spoken with the HV and she was referring ds to the hospital for tests. I told her that I needed more details of what their concerns were so I could pass on more details to the HV. She was totally taken aback and started backtracking!! It was embarrassing. She said "I'll just go ask some of the girls that work with him" Implying that she doesn't work with him very often, so why she felt it was her place to tell me, I dunno!!! She came back and said that the other girls just thought it was selective hearing from ds rather than a hearing problem!

All this worry and her concerns weren't even founded. I am SO angry. Ds is having the tests anyway just in case.