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Original poster

After throwing TWO dinners on the floor (yes I know) would you give your 2 year old weatabix so he doesn't go to bed hungry?

102 replies

Snowfun · 17/02/2010 20:43

Because dh did! Ds adores weatabix so its usually a certainty he'll eat it which he did in about 2 second flat. In two minds on whether it was a good idea. Normally afterr the first time he throws plate on floor it gets binned but I've not been feeling too well and dh took over with the kids over tea which I'm grateful for. Because of dh's rota duties 9 times out of ten he is not around at teatime unfortunately but happened to finish early today.

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LadyintheRadiator · 19/02/2010 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tostaky · 20/02/2010 04:12

A minute is not a lot - and we explain him gently why and give him a kiss after the minute is gone. There's no shouting or wrist slapping in our house.
Whatever works for you!
tortoise I don't think he is advanced but he does understand because when he accidently drop some food on the floor from his highchair he points to it and go "no, no, no, no" waving his little finger. (and of course he doesnt go to the corner if it is an accident!). We too have family meals, and I too, want to eat but I do not want to pick up food on the floor every 2 minutes.
I have a few friends with similar age toddlers who use the naughty chair/corner/step too and their toddlers also seem to understand.

SarfEasticated · 20/02/2010 09:32

I think even Jo Frost would balk at the naughty step at 15 months. It seems sad to me that he thinks it's naughty to throw food, obviously it's not behaviour that you want to encourage but IMO it isn't that naughty. The only thing that my dd might do that I would consider naughty would be hitting.

Your prerogative though Trotsky.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 09:53

snowfun got as far as your post at 9pm last night and see he chucked his food after eating the fishfingers.

So he's not going to starve then is he, and his tummy isn't empty, so fair enough.

mrspoppins · 20/02/2010 09:54

It is naughty to throw food but equally, I wouldn't put a child of that age on time out. I usually start around 2. I think a stern no for any type of naughty behaviour at this little age suffices as they have't usually the language capacity to be understanding the explanation of why.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 10:00

Is it "naughty" to throw food at 15mo though, or just something they are having fun with and finding out what happens etc.

Yes it's annoying for the parent, but is the child doing it deliberately to annoy the parent IYSWIM. Or just doing it because they are a baby and chucking food around is fun.

maxybrown · 20/02/2010 10:12

Hmm, I didn't use time out at that age, agree with mrspoppins.

But yes it is "naughty" they need to know, as when does it become naughty......oh now you're 2 and a half, those things we let you do at 15 months is now suddenly naughty.

As mary poppins says, a firm no, as they need to start to learn that it is not acceptable. Also my DS was well and truly completely feeding himself by that age, very independant soul that he is! No way would he let you do anything for him, so if he had just sat there and thrown it, well......!!!

SarfEasticated · 20/02/2010 10:23

It's all subjective isn't it, to me 'naughty' is the worst behaviour, and is my 'nuclear' word. A bit of experimental lobbing isn't that bad in my book but a full blown insolent dumping dinner dish on the floor would get a stern 'no' .

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 10:24

Well yes I said no. But I wouldn't have used a harsher punishment at 15 months. Because at that age they are still learning what gets a no and what doesn't. Once they know what no means, and they know that throwing their food on the floor gets a no, and they are doing it on purpose, then I would think about doing something a bit stronger.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 10:27

Yes that's a good point sarfeasticated. I am quite relaxed but I do think there's no point in punishing children for doing stuff wrong until you're sure they know that they are doing it wrong, and are carrying on anyway IYSWIM.

Having said all this my DD has always been pretty good so I haven't needed to do much telling off. Her playing with food I didn't mind, I don't think she has ever deliberately thrown a plate of food onto the floor.

maxybrown · 20/02/2010 10:28

It is yes,as it's not acceptable to me......mind you DS has never done it

I do have a very good boy, I know that, but he obviously has his moments, he is 2, a boy and full of character!!! I'm not that unrealistic! But I can count on one hand how many times he's thrown things purposely and every time HE has picked it up, sometimes not straight away, sometime he has had a minute sat out THEN he will pick it up. i never send him away from me though, he always has to sit and take my evil wrath of looks

Nor did he go in time out though when he was 15 months, but he has always been told as it were.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 10:39

Yes naughty to me has intent.

Unacceptable is a no. And remove the offending article/child.

Naughty is a telling off.

I think I am more a teller-offer than a naughty step type. DD craps herself when I look angry. As does DH . I think I do stern quite well. And I use the voice

maxybrown · 20/02/2010 10:41

Yeah my Ds does too

He has only sat out when he has point blank refused to do something, then he is mortified he ates having to sit near me when i am cross. hence it hardly ever happens

PfftTheMagicDragon · 20/02/2010 10:45

Certainly not.

I think that before a certain age, they are not old enough to understand "this is it, there is nothing else" but they are very much able to understand that if they misbehave, chuck it on the floor, or push it away, then they get something else. So I try and avoid that.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 10:45

DD got more than a stern "no" the other day when I caught her drawing on our bedroom wall

But then toddler + biro + lovely wall = recipe for disaster. It was stupid of us to leave a biro around. But the bloody things get everywhere.

maxybrown · 20/02/2010 10:55

My DS would find a biro anywhere, I gurantee it though he does look for paper too.....it's just that paper might be something important.......hey, it's not the wall or settee though

SarfEasticated · 20/02/2010 11:01

Gawd, we have had so many crayon marks on our walls, it must be so tempting mustn't it! She has grown out of it now thankfully, was costing a fortune in magic erasers.

When I did dog training years ago the trainer taught us a naughty sound you used to stop your dog in its tracks - a kind of a harsh 'Ah' sound - I have found it works pretty well on DD too. I hardly ever use it, but when I do she stops what she is doing immediately.

mrspoppins · 20/02/2010 11:19

At the risk of being bombarded with virtual stones, I've always thought that there is little difference in the principals of training animals and children

SarfEasticated · 20/02/2010 11:24

Less rolled up newspaper though!
I agree, kindness, consistency and an air of authority = happy pet/child.

maxybrown · 20/02/2010 11:24

the best one we had was whilst we were packing for a weekend trip away, Ds COVERED our siamese cat in sudacrem, we only discovered it as we were meant to be going out of the door

Think it is the longest the cat ever stayed still around him

mrspoppins · 20/02/2010 11:45

lol

Original poster
Snowfun · 20/02/2010 12:18

Today dh has saturday off again very unusual as he's a bus driver. Infact not back to work till wednesday. He's just popped to the shops with our 4 year old. This morning he said you have a lie in I'll do breakfast first he gave ds2 shreddies he had half and threw it on the floor whilst smiling aparently and asked for weetabix. Dh said he gave him weetabix and that was thrown on the floor almost straight away and ds thought it hilarious. Dh was not happy and said he willl not do that again! When I got downstairs ds2 asked for shreddies and weetabix and I said what happened to your breakfast (already knowing) and he said dropped it and gave a demonstration!

Oh last nights dinner got thrown after eating all his mash potatoes and some of his mince. Then asked for more potatoes. I said no. Then he started crying for bananas I said no but my mum who was there said oh go on he's still hungry and really crying and upset so he ended up eating 2 bananas. He must have been hungry though as he rarely eats bananas tbh.

OP posts:
maxybrown · 20/02/2010 12:59

It is a game though to him, i know it's hard but you both need to agree not to give him anything, as in THIS situation it is a game that he is doing all of the time. I hate it when other people are around and say things like that too grrrr

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 13:10

Well that is definitely heading into "naughty" territory. I would be pretty firm at this point. You don't want him to chuck his food on teh floor so don't put up with it.

What I would probably do is say if you chuck it on the floor then no more that's it. Then if he chucks it, right suppertime over that's it.

But I would offer a bit of bread before bed or if they seemed hungry later. Deffo wouldn't give the weetabix though after chucking the first lot.

Thing is he doesn't really understand about "naughty" and cleaning up being a PITA, he just gets attention and a load more food to play with.

Play it by ear though. And get your DH onside about how to deal with it.

And you can politely tell your mum that you're doing xy and z and that's it athough you will have to put up with her looking at you like you're loopy/evil...

ImSoNotTelling · 20/02/2010 13:12

Obviously if it's breakfast he's chucked on the floor, don't wait til bedtime to give them some more food