Nap times - 8.5 month old DD

[Bumpsadaisie]

I have been reading the threads here with interest but am a bit alarmed at how many people's babies seem to have regular naptimes and schedules. I wonder if I'm not providing my DD with enough structure.

We do have a bedtime routine - around 6pm supper, then we have a bath together, then milk, story and bed. She's asleep by around 8pm and usually sleeps through till 7.30am//8pm (bar sometimes having to go in and put her dummy back in!) Two days a week when I work, she and DH pick me up from the station at 7.30pm and then I do bath and bedtime with her so those days it must be 9pm before she is asleep.

When I think about it, she does usually have two naps - but I don't put her down at a particular time. To be honest I just notice that she is tired so then I put her down, often on our bed, sometimes in the cot, or on the sofa next to me while I read - I have no idea what time it is as it can vary as does the length of her sleep.

She also goes to bed quite late compared to most other babies on here (8pm). We start at different times in the morning depending on what day it is. If it is the day that she goes to her grandparents, she is up, dressed and breakfasted and ready by 9am. If its a day when she is at home with me then sometimes she just gets in bed with me, has a bottle then we both doze off back to sleep. Sometimes, therefore, it is about 10.30am by the time she has her porridge (though she does have her milk pretty much as soon as she wakes up).

What do you think? Am I storing up issues for later by being too chaotic?

Thanks
Bumps x

I don't know about 'issues' later, but I do know that if you want any kind of predictability when she has to go to nursery school or what-have-you then now is the best time to institute routines. My 9mo can cope with being awake for three hours but then needs a nap - she always goes down in her own cot. Other than that it's pretty flexible, but she does like meals and naps at predictable times.

Hi there,

Hmmm we have a routine for DD (also 8.5 months - aren't they gorgeous?!) but not when it comes to napping. And can I say that your "laying in bed together" mornings sound fantastic, I wish I could do that...

My DD generally has a similar bedtime routine to yours, albeit earlier. She is bed normally for 6pm, but that's because I have to get her up at 6am to get her to the CM or my SIL so that I can start work at 8am.

We are in the process of changing her routine in respect of bottles/meals and they are now regular, the same time every day. But in respect of napping, the CM and my SIL just put her down when she gets tired, as do I. But as her food is becoming more routine, her sleeps are tending to fall into line.

I am no expert as I'm a first time Mum, but I would recommend getting one thing at a time into some sort of routine. Maybe start with just meals and you may find that with a full tummy, she may start to feel sleepy fairly soon after a meal anyway and will get herself into a routine that way. Just a thought...

I think it depends on how important structure is to your day, i.e. if you want her to be in bed so you can have an evening, etc.

When my DS was this age, we had no routine whatsoever. DS was an awful eater and sleeper and so he would be hungry and tired at all different times of day! He is now nearly 17mths and he has made his own routine. He has dropped down to one nap a day and the only rule we have is that he sleeps either for 2 hrs or until 2pm, whichever comes sooner. That way we know he'll be in bed at 7pm - 8pm. Even now, we don't really have a bed time routine - he just goes to bed when he's rubbing his eyes and yawning!

Saying that, we haven't put him in nursery or anything yet so we've had no need for structure as such - we can do what we want! We generally favour an approach of allowing him to regulate himself as much as possible.

It sounds very similar to what I did with my dd. She's 18 months now and still goes to bed around 8is til 8am, but just with one nap nowadays (at various times but usually after lunch, whenever that is )

If it is suiting you then I would just go with the flow, I've certainly not had any issues with dd so far as a result. She was quite happy fitting into a nursery routine 3 days a week too.

My DS is just about 8.5 months and he goes to bed between 730 and 8. He usually wakes up between 5 and 6, I've been trying to encourage 6!

As for naps, he has started napping between 930 and 1030 in the morning and between about 2 and 4 in the afternoon. But none of these are set in stone. He goes down for a nap when he seems tired or when he falls asleep in my arms!

I am not worried about routine for when he starts nursery as the days that we do have to get out of the house at a certain time, he has been very adaptable.

My boy by 8 months had a nap at 10.30am and 3pm and went to bed at 7pm ish. This is just what worked for him. He got too cranky and over tired unless I did this and got very distressed. It also gave me time alone with his sister, who is 2 years old in the day. I also enjoy my evenings alone

You can do your own routine, you know. You don't have to do what anybody else is doing or what books say. As long as they are getting the sleep they need (which is what it sounds like) try not to worry. You sound like you're doing a great job. Far better to be laid back, than getting stressed about it all. Enjoy your baby. Here's a poem attached to my fridge:

I hope my children look back on today,
And see a Mother who had time to play!
Children grow up while you're not looking,
There'll be years ahead for cleaning and cooking,
So quiet now, cobwebs; dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

Sorry to go sentimental for a minute. But seriously you're doing fine x