Is it crazy to consider moving 15 month old to a toddler bed?

[suiledonne]

I need to move her and her big sister (almost 4) out of my bed. DD2 has been walking since Christmas and the bed is very low but maybe she is too young.

I am exhausted and getting run down from lack of sleep. My relationship with DH is suffering.

DD1 sometimes starts off in her own bed but always ends up in with me - DH gets into her bed. More and more often she is in our bed by the time we go to bed so DH just goes to her bed.

DD2 is co-sleeping with us and is wanting to breastfeed more and more in the night.

I feel I am at breaking point.

DD2 won't settle in the cot so thinking of trying it as a toddler bed or putting the two of them on the double mattress on the floor.

it is not crazy if you get some sleep!

i moved ds1 into toddler bed with side rail at 15 months. he was walking at 13 months. i wouldnt have done it if he hadn't been walking.

i dont see any reason not to.

My ds is 16 months and has just gone this week into a toddler bed, having co-slept with me up until now.

My dh insisted that I need to stop bfing him at night, and that I need more sleep, and he's right, but the first night was very painful. Dh was with ds the whole night but ds still screamed for three hours for me.

The nights following have been far better, last bf at 9pm, and then he's sleeping until about 6am in his toddler bed. My ds also hates the cot, and has never slept in it.

You can do this! It's hard, but four nights on, it's worth it!

I don't have a siderail though. It is a cotbed so would be taking the sides off.

I want her to be safe but I NEED sleep.

I think we are all disturbing each other.

I am getting angry and shouty at night.

When I roll on my side to feed dd2, dd1 rolls in under me.

DH have no control at night. We just gave in too easily at the beginning and now we are suffering.

cross posts Belgo.

Good to know we are not alone in this. How did you cope with your ds crying for you?

I don't know how long I will last.

I went away over night last week and DH gave dd2 a bottle when she woke - she cried but only for 15 mins or so. Seemed to realise I wasn't there.

Feel selfish to be considering upsetting her so much but our lives at the moment are quite frankly shit! Don't usually swear but that about sums it up.

don't blame yourself, and the sleep situation can be improved. You will need your dh's support though.

You can put pillows beside the bed so she won't hurt herself if she falls out.

'How did you cope with your ds crying for you?'

I put my fingers in my ears and cried under the duvet. Thank God it was only that first night.

I think I need a sleeping pill or aomething to knock me out.

I never let my girls cry. I think it scares them because they are not used to it.

I hate them to be upset but I am so tired and unhappy these days.

It's not selfish, my ds himself needed to sleep better, he was waking up too much next to me. And bfing every two or three hours at night at the age of 16 months just isn't fair on anyone.

My dh stays on a mattress next to ds, and gives him water if he wakes. I really don't want to give him any other fluid or food at night because he doesn't need it and he has 16 teeth already and I'm worried about tooth decay.

what got me though the crying is knowing that dh was with ds, we have never left ds to cry on him own.

Your ds sounds similar to my dd Belgo. She has a mouthful of teeth too and I do worry about her teeth a lot with all the nightfeeds.

DH on a matress next to her is a good idea.

He is tougher than me.

I feel I can't admit to being so tired etc to people in RL because I am in a bad situation of my own making and I feel foolish.

'I feel I can't admit to being so tired etc to people in RL because I am in a bad situation of my own making and I feel foolish. '

exactly how I feel! I didn't even admit to dh how much ds was waking up because I felt like it was all my fault.

I waited and waited hoping the situation would improve on its own, but ds just kept on waking up more and more, until dh insisted we do something about it.

My dd(13 months) ends up sleeping on a matress in her room most nights. What happens is she wakes up for a feed. I feed her on the matress, we both fall asleep i wake up 10 minute later and go into my bed putting the stairgate on the door, so guess it should be fine.

it also is a lot easier to do the sush patting to sleep when you can lie down next to them, might make night weaning easier

Can I join your club? Have just moved ds into a cot after 15 months of cosleeping and constant feeding. Kept hoping that he would miraculously stop feeding during the night and start sleeping through but it was getting worse and he was waking every 2 hours and wanting fed back to sleep. Decided to put him into the cot in the spare room and sleep next to him on the bed. We are now a week into this and he is sleeping better but still waking for a feed about 1 and wanting fed. I hold out until 5am so he is going from 7pm til 5am with no feed which is so much better than previously.

I too am too embarrassed to tell people that we have got into such a mess with his sleep. Until 16 weeks he slept through the night and I thought I had it cracked. Little did I know

green blanket - we only moved ds into his bed on saturday night, so it's still very early days. So that's just four nights and dh is still sleeping next to him.

nulgirl- 7pm -5am is very good!

2 of mine were in toddler beds by 15 months. I put big cushions along the floor on the side, to act as a step and as a soft landing. And regarding the keeping coming out, I did the take back thing - first itme say 'sleepy time, let's get you into your bed', second time firmly said 'sleep time'. Then any times after that, just walk to bed, put in , no words, no eye contact. It took about 2-3 weeks for them to start settling on their own. Sounds like ages - but it was worth persevering. 2 weeks versus forever....

welcome nulgirl!

I'm sure it is a club we would all prefer not to be in but at least we can support each other.

I need to decide best course of action now.

Both my boys were in toddler beds, no rail, by 11 or 12 months. Both were walking though. DS1 because he climbed out of the cot and we freaked out! Pmsl DS2 because he was in ad out of hospital and so developed a phobia of cots after all the poking and prodding he received!!

We just did milk, stories, bed and said we would be back in a minute to give them a kiss. Walk out. Go back n a minute. rinse and repeat! Extend the intervals and then eventually they fall asleep. if they come out just do the supernanny return to bed technique thingy.

It might be harder though as you cosleep? But DS2 still sometime wakes up and snuggles in with us and he is nearly three! Some nights I dot even notice until i wake in the morning and some nights I just giv ehim a sip of water (glass beside my bed) a quick hug and sen him back!! e generally doesnt cry, but sometime he makes me get up and tuck him in!! LOL

FWIW DS1 was in a king single (no rail) at 15 months as we moved house and got it free and DS2 was in a regular single from just under 2 (no rail.)

Good Luck!!

Hello everyone. I just wanted to let you all know that all is not lost and there is light at the end of the tunnel! Long post but stick with it.

My dd was the most awful sleeper. When she was a little baby I used to go to baby cafes with this tiny fast asleep child and complain bitterly about how terribly she slept. She had to get her sleep in the day time as nights were full-on activity. It took 6 months before anyone saw her awake in the day time! I tried to sleep when she did but just ended up really depressed as the house was a pit. We always used to start off putting her down in her cot at the start of the night, then when she woke up (a few hours into the night) she came into our bed for the all night feed-athon. She couldn't fall alseep herself so I used to climb into her cot and feed her to sleep .
She started to walk at about 10 months. By then I was desperate to get some sleep and was sick of actually falling asleep in her cot when I was feeding her down! So, we put her into a toddler bed at about 11 months (with a side rail). I continued to feed her to sleep and she continued to come into our bed when she woke up. I weaned her off the breast at about 18 months, gradually feed by feed. The last feed to go was the falling asleep feed. She got some warm cow's milk in a cup instead. I've never left her to cry so we knew that getting her to go to sleep would be a challenge. We used a method called Gradual Retreat, whereby you lie with them until they fall asleep and then after a bit you just sit on the bed, then later sit beside the bed, then further away, then at the door, then on the other side of the door where they can't see you, then alone. We did it over about 1-2month and it worked a treat. She stopped coming into our bed so much after she was weaned but was still finishing the night there until about aged 2. We just started to return her to bed in the night, the deal being she could stay for a 10 minute cuddle and then go back (yes it was tough to stay awake). We reinforced it with stickers and treats for the nights she didn't get up. The first night she slept through I sent my husband to check on her in the morning as I thought she'd died!

The moral of my ever so long story is that my daughter (4.5ys)is now one of the best sleepers I know. The whole co-sleeping thing can be hard, and it is absolutely essential that you move them out of your bed when you begin to resent it. Don't feel bad about it, you will have given your lo a fantastically secure introduction to sleep and that is a wonderful thing in itself.

Good luck everyone. I hope some of my gas-bagging helps someone!

op - you have to do something and not feel guilty. 15 months isn't a tiny baby anymore and she needs to get plenty of sleep as do you.

maybe you need to just go for it. if you are worried about her falling out just put the mattress on the floor for a few months.

you need to get her to settle in her own bed - its time - i am v against controlled crying etc but i think a shredded mummy is no good to anyone.

my dd (who is only 4.5 months to be fair so not the same) slept well at first but last month or so was waking every two hours to feed in the night when i got really slack about letting her co sleep. this week i am determined to get out of this as i believe its learned hunger. i am knackered but forcing myself to sit in her room and feed her and out her back down rather than just taking her into bed with me to feed and letting her stay. 2 nights in and she has cut down to her dream feed at 10.30 and her original night feed at about 2/3am which is much morew managable!

good luck xx