help! I think my 13 year old may be going a bit too far

[baloohoo]

Hi Mumsnet, I'm new to this fab site having only just discovered it. Unfortunately it followed another 'discovery' of an email written by me newly turned 13 year old daughter to her friend, left open on my computer. In this she's described going to his house last saturday while his parents were out, up to his bedroom, and onto the bed for an hour of "passionate kissing". I'm not a prude and we have an open relationship in terms of discussing sex but I'm worried about where this is going, especially because I was under the impression that I'd taken her into the town where he lives while I did my shopping and she met him and other friends in town. I guess I'm bothered about 1) the fact she's lied to me (and still thinks I don't know)
2)the fact that his parents were out
and 3) she's too young at 13 to be considering having sex.
Eeek. She's "madly in love" with this boy and has nagged me to take her into town on weekends to meet him but I think I may be being irresponsible if I do and allow this to continue. I've tried talking to her about teenage pregnancy and she has a sensible attitude to not wanting to become a statistic, so although that's a concern, my main one is she's just too young and may not feel she can or may not want to say no next time. She's tall for her age and fairly well developed.
What would any of you do in this situation?

Baloohoo,

Just another (embaressing) moment from my past but I remember at about 13 having a snoging session with a young lad on a friends bed and then writing about it in my diary. My mum read my diary and confrunted me about it - I had elaborated a little which made things 10 times worse! I was mortified when my mum spoke to me - so much so that it ut me off ever going to her about boys again!

I'm surprised at those who are saying the OP shouldn't meet the boy's mother. Do none of you double-check with your children's parents before sleepovers etc what they will be doing by calling the parents? It seems to be standard practise here among my group of fellow parents.

My then 13 yo and her friend went to a mixed sleepover with a couple of boys last summer at a boy's house and you can bet your bottom dollar that the parents all spoke to each other. The host boy's mum was fine about it, and thought it common sense for us to check up how much supervision we expected and what she expected to have to do. Just so we're all singing from the same sheet so to speak. I don't see a childhood relationship as really any different at this stage than a friendship and I would certainly ring the other mother so that she was aware of what was going on at least. She doesn't want her 13 yo son to be a father any more than the OP wants her 13 yo to be a mother.

Hi Sweatheart, that really made me laugh. DD has a diary but she padlocks it, darn!

Hi Duchesse, yes I agree- DD has been to many sleepovers with her friends and I've always spoken to the other parents beforehand. I guess it's just a case of finding the right opportunity to call the boys parents to avoid coming across as a bit hysterical!