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How to teach about interrupting?

12 replies

spongeitup · 16/02/2010 18:19

Wondering if any of you ladies have any suggestions on the best way to teach LO's a polite way to get our attention when we are talking to someone else? TIA!

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Batteryhuman · 16/02/2010 18:24

Don't know. I interrupt all the time. Sorry.....

TulipsInTheRain · 16/02/2010 18:26

dd is a nightmare for doing it.

I just stop long enough to say 'DD please don't interrupt and wait your turn' and then continue... if she keeps on shouting I ignore/give her a warning that she'll lose out on tv/treats depending on how loud she is or how long it goes on. If she keeps it up and follow through on the warning if necessary.

i simply cannot stand kids interrupting and it's not a trait friends will be keen on either if she doen't learn to control herself

mathanxiety · 16/02/2010 18:27

My philosophy was that I could be interrupted only if the house was on fire or there was a life-threatening emergency.

izzybiz · 16/02/2010 18:37

I usually just say "wait a minute please, Im/xx is speaking".

lovechoc · 16/02/2010 18:50

my nearly 3yo does this and I get annoyed when I'm trying to talk to DH or anyone else and he just talks even louder to get the attention...waiting to hear what others have advice-wise...

onehotmama · 16/02/2010 20:10

I'm still waiting for my DH to understand this one and he's 41!

jkklpu · 16/02/2010 20:13

I say, "wait a moment please and say 'excuse me'". This usually means that ds1 (4) gets annoyed if I don't immediately accede to his request to speak, but it's usually possible to explain that there's just the end of a transaction to go until he can speak. ANd he is learning. ALso, dh and I try to make a point of saying 'excuse me' to him, too, if we ever need to interrupt him.

jollyma · 16/02/2010 22:10

In the early days I said "wait" and held my hand up towards him until the person I was speaking to had finished speaking. Then as he got to know the hand signal I used it as an acknowledgment that I knew he was waiting to stop him saying 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy...". Has always worked fine and I still use it now 7 years on.

spongeitup · 17/02/2010 00:14

Thanks for the responses all! Jollyma - that is similar to what I have been doing so far - I raise one finger and say "X is speaking, we don't interrupt" as well as DH and I saying "excuse me" when we interrupt DS at something. Though he seems to listen to it, he still interrupts, which made me think that my technique isn't working. Reading the responses it sounds like this is quite a common issue.

Mathanxiety - Love the concept, but how did you teach/enforce it initially?

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RedLentil · 17/02/2010 00:41

Spongeitup - I read your thread earlier and I've been thinking about it while I've been working.

I think this is one of the first issues you come up against as a parent which is majorly longhaul in terms of behaviour management.

My middle child is 3.5 and I fully expect to have to remind her about this for another few years. My oldest boy, at nearly 7, remembers now except when I am on the phone.

Asking them not to interrupt is asking them to understand that they are not at the centre of your universe every moment. You are expecting them to hold a thought and keep it waiting, intact, for a while. These things require a lot of different skills.

DS (6) can't get his head around the idea that when I am holding the phone I am thinking about the person at the other end, even though he is a very empathetic character.

At the moment with DD1, we use the techniques people have mentioned here, and then break off to answer her after a shortish gap. The better she understands the principle, the longer the time she'll be expected to wait.

In the short term, to save your sanity, you can sometimes ask your ds to fetch something and promise to answer when he gets back!

I hope this doesn't sound patronising - I think, as onehotmama said, that there are many people who reach adulthood without grasping this skill.

I've noticed recently that I keep interrupting people: it's as if I've caught the bug from dd1 and I'm desperately trying to cure myself.

spongeitup · 17/02/2010 00:47

RedLentil - not patronising at all - a wonderful response, thank you! For me personally, this is an important skill for DS to grasp. Like the idea of a shortish gap, gradually extended, think that might work for DS. Did your DS (7) just recently start to do this consistently? Ahhh, that leaves me with several years yet of losing my sanity....

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gigglewitch · 17/02/2010 01:08

with my youngest two, 3yo and 6yo, I do the same holding hand up thing as izzybiz.

The eldest has specific learning difficulty and he can sometimes find it difficult to remember something whilst waiting, but he's learned to give me (or his class teacher at school) a little laminated card which he always keeps in his pocket, and then pick up something which will help him to remember what he wants to say. This may sound too far-fetched for at home, but it's an essential skill for school (more the 'remembering' bit than the waiting) and he learned to do it at home, hence why it's stuck as a means to remember / not interrupt just because his memory's poor.

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