Don't want a repeat of last night so what do I do?

[Lifeinagoldfishbowl]

DC 2.4 normally sits well at the dinner table, will eat most things, can feed himself with proper cutlery etc etc.

Last night as he does for a week now; he has turned around when dp comes in from work and asks for some fruit or snack (biscuit/cake) and when refused as I am about to serve up the meal - will remark I don't want dinner.

Last night he remarked he didn't want dinner chilli and rice (a favourite) and went off to play (as usual) when I called him for dinner; he reiterated he didn't want dinner and threw a tantrum.

Dp and I sat down and began to eat the meal remarking how nice the meal was as DC continued to scream and thrash about in the lounge.

DP went through to see if he could calm the situation and DC demanded me; I went through calmed him down - tantrum had been about 7 minutes by then and asked if he wanted a drink/tea and he agreed, he came and sat at the table and then promptly started up the tantrum that he didn't want tea - again he was sent to the other room to tantrum whilst we continued to eat.

A couple of minutes later I went in and calmed him down and got him to come to the table, where he refued to sit in his seat and wanted to sit in another one (which was fine) and then promptly told dp "don't look at me!" so dp had to cover face as they were sat opposite each other. Then to stop the onslaught of another tantrum I ended up feeding DC- and for the last 10 minutes of the meal he ate only if dp wasn't looking at him

After tea we were happy bunnies and ate our biscuit and drank our milk - I put dc's pj top on - we're potty training but when dp asked to put on his night time training pants we started to play up; running around shouting no etc, then the last 15 minutes ended in a large temper tantrum when told it was bedtime.

DC was put to bed and he screamed and tantrummed he didn't want to go to bed - before crashing out 20 minutes later.

SO WHAT DO I DO TO STOP THIS HAPPENING AGAIN TONIGHT??????

Well, it sounds very much like attention grabbing to me so I would say the very best thing is to ignore it completely. Certainly don't give in to demands that DP isn't to look at him.

Has DP told him off lately? Is that why he is playing up with him? Could possibly be jealousy of you and DP?

My DD will play up at eating time and often it is because she is so hungry her blood sugar has lowered to a point where she isn't able to be reasonable any more. This can be countered with a quick but v small snack (couple of slices of banana, raisins) just before dinner.

Thanks Mycatisa...

It is attention seeking; and he does try and play the 2 of us against each other - which doesn't work - ie I don't have dc in the kitchen when i'm cooking and dp does so when dp gets in and I'm cooking dc will come and stand in the kitchen and say dp is home and smile - dp will then send him into the other room

DC has a snack around 3pm so may try and give a later snack to see if that helps.

DP hasn't told dc off recently - they don't have that type of relationshoip - lol - dp just gives in after a huge amount of tears/tantumming/whinging etc [rolls eyes]

So do we just leave him to tantrum while we carry on eating or do we go, calm him down etc ?

I would leave him to carry on (it's bloody hard though, having had to do that with DD), or put in timeout/bedroom.

We have recently found that making things into a race seems to get our DD out of anything like this - 'I bet you can't get to the table before DP/me/your brother' etc. Simple but works a treat on DD for getting her upstairs at bedtime and getting her dressed.

Sorry not to be more helpful, I am an amateur at this parenting lark .

Will try the racing etc to the table and then if we have tantrums just ignore

DD2's behavious has been less than impressive at the dinner table lately (she's 4yo!). She is insisting on me doing everything, although she sits next to DH, she wants spoonfed etc. DH just puts her down from the table and sends her into the utility room. We ask her every few minutes if she is ready to come back to the table and eat - if she says no or says nothing, we just go on eating and ask her again later.

Let him tantrum - if he goes to bed one night without his tea, it won't kill him (and certainly cured my nephew of similar behaviour - a couple of nights without tea were more than he could take).

I've also done the 'This is what we're having for tea/supper (not going to start that debate ) - if you don't come and eat it, you will go to bed without it and have just some bread before your bath. (Wouldn't dream of sending ds to bed hungry - he's 4.10 and have only had to carry this out once - now he knows that we will carry out this sort of threat, he normally gives in and is more sensible)

Also sounds a bit tired to me - could this be any of the reason (and my ds goes through patches where he suddenly seems to need more sleep and the suddenly shoots up in height)

I hope it went OK tonight for you.