Isn't it strange how different combinations of children yield different results?

[legalalien]

Just an idle reflection based on various playdates over the past year. My DS isn't the easiest child on a playdate (he tends to burst into tears at the slightest injury, yet has no qualms about provoking playfights), it's just interesting that when some children come over the games are quite imaginative, require little supervision, and disagreements are shrugged off; with others, the house gets trashed, there are tears and tantrums (from both of them). And it seems quite unpredictable based on the personality of the other child.

My best guess is that it has something to do with parenting style (from what I can tell, the playdates that work are with people whose parents take a similar line on behaviour in terms of when they intervene and when they don't). But maybe it's some sort of complex "balance of power" thing...

Couldn't agree more. I tend to now meet up with postnatal group friends one family at a time rather than on mass due to small houses / second children coming along etc.

It can either go REALLY well (i.e. me and the other mum drink coffee on the sofa while the dc play upstairs happily) or AWFULLY i.e. exactly as you say.

However it does seem to be quite random as to which combinations work, just because it doesn't work one time doesn't mean the next time the child in question comes over they won't have an amazing time. All the parents I know parent roughly the same so I put it down more to the mood of the kids, tiredness and that sort of thing....thinking that way helps me from saying "never again" anyway to some people we've had to play!!

as a childminder, i see almost every day how different combinations of children lead to different types of days that I have with them.

what worries me, though, is that one child I care for seems to bring out the worst in my DS who is now 5yrs 4mnths. The other child is a bit older and extremely competitive, constantly trying to show DS up. the really odd thing is the DS adores him and calls him his Best Friend!! But Ds turns into a hooligan when the other child is with us. Boisterous, cheeky to the point of bordering on insolent.

on the other hand, DS is his usualy lovely funny self when some of the others are around.

I suppose it is the same with adults. Some people make me feel better about myself then others so I might at times, tend to behave differently.

ha! Yes I agree with Number 4 , my DH always acts differently with different sets of our friends and when I noticed it I then realised that I did too. So it's not just kids kiddo.