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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

my preschool DS doesn't like painting

20 replies

SarahMumtoAlex · 15/02/2010 17:15

As subject says, my DS 4 in April really doesn't like painting, colouring, drawing etc. He has fairly good fine motor skills (can do jigsaws, playmobile, keys in locks) but he doesn't enjoy painting drawing colouring. Its largely because he's perfectionist, he begins, but when it doesn't match his mental picture he gets frustrated, his movements get bigger then he stops.

I'm largely worried because I know a lot of teaching is through art and because I hate that he is frustrated with himself and can't work through it. Ideas for helping, or thoughts on learning to accept it as a personality trait welcomed.

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southeastastra · 15/02/2010 17:20

um he is only four, he will get better at it.

Original poster

SarahMumtoAlex · 15/02/2010 17:28

Its not that I want him to be better at it, I want him to enjoy it.

Because 1) all his friends enjoy it 2) he is encouraged to do it at nursery 3) a lot of his learning will be delivered via it.

I'm sure I shouldn't worry, but there you go, I do.

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tabbycat7 · 15/02/2010 17:32

I was a bit worried about my DS because he wouldn't touch playdough, glue, paint, sand even grass until he was 3 and he's still not too keen on them now. His 2 yr old brother is acrtually better at drawing than he is and holds a crayon correctly and DS1 still doesn't! If his motor skills are ok I wouldn't worry. The point of drawing etc at this stage is to help them to develop fine motor skills, but as you have said there are other ways of doing that. Lots of teachers use art to help chn learn stuff because they often enjoy it. Your DS may well start to enjoy it more as he gets older and if there is a point to it, eg colour in 5 ladybirds etc. I really wouldn't worry too much

TheFallenMadonna · 15/02/2010 17:33

Is a lot of learning done through painting? DS loathed it and not because he was a perfectionist. I think he just loathed it. He did other things instead. He's 8 now and does OK. I really, really wouldn't fret about it.

DarrellRivers · 15/02/2010 17:33

Very gently, I feel you are overthinking this
He will probably like it in a bit, if he doesn't, I don't think you have much control over it

Original poster

SarahMumtoAlex · 15/02/2010 17:37

Thanks folks, very reassuring, time to stop fussing. I'll leave him to get on with it in his own time and cross the school bridge if it appears.

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tethersend · 15/02/2010 17:38

Colouring is the very worst activity you can do to develop artistic ability and enjoyment. (Try The Anti-Colouring book for some good structured activities which build confidence)

You cannot make him enjoy art; but you can encourage him by widening his concept of what art is; never force him to do art, and try and move away from art as representation. Think of it as a process, which is what he will be assessed on later in his school life.

Use collage, clay, printing, marbling, paint etc, and just let him play, rather than trying to labour over making a 'picture'. Try putting old bedsheets in the garden and squirt paint over them from squeezy bottles- anything fun where the end result is not important.

He will be assessed through many skills at school, most notably play. Please don't worry.

bonkerz · 15/02/2010 17:42

other ways to get him to experiment with paint is to introduce his interests into it. If he enjoys playing with cars then let him use the cars to paint wheel marks etc. He could use marbles (use spoons to get marbles out of paint if he doesnt like the mess)
try bubble painting by watering paint down with washing up liquid and water then blowing and putting paper on top of bubbles blown.

Original poster

SarahMumtoAlex · 16/02/2010 09:59

Thanks Bonkerz and Tethersend those are really helpful suggestions. My mother tells me I shouldn't push him to be what he isn't, that noone in our family is visually creative and we're all happy. But I just don't want to write off a whole area of expression just because 'our family doesn't' I shall try to relax but try some of the fun ideas too.

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posieparker · 16/02/2010 10:00

Boys aren't usually paper merchants, but it will happen. I don't really see an issue.

havoc · 16/02/2010 10:22

My DS is also 4 in April and loves painting, glue and making things. But has never enjoyed jigsaws, I think he has only finished 2 with me! (I don't know about at pre-school). But I don't worry about it, he is only a baby and has plenty of time to develop and learn other skills.

Please don't worry about it, be grateful that you have a tidier house than me!

wishingchair · 16/02/2010 12:04

My DD is 3 and isn't a big fan of painting/drawing/colouring. DD1 loves it so is quite strange to have them so different. I tried to encourage her but it made her stress out and stop altogether so now just let her get on with it. She did LOVE collage and loves messing around with playdoh too. Love tethersend's idea of squirting paint on old sheets. They'd love that.

CMOTdibbler · 16/02/2010 12:09

My DS will be 4 in May, and isn't really that bothered about painting /drawing. He loves playdoh and squiggling icing on cakes etc, and I think at that age thats enough.

He enjoys junk modelling at nursery too

369thegoosedrankwine · 16/02/2010 13:13

My DS is 3.4 and really isn't into anything arty.

He will draw with a pen and has the ability to draw shapes a few letters etc, he just doesn't seem to enjoy painting pictures or doing anything arty.

I got to the point when he was about 2.5 when I gave up setting all the stuff out (paper / paints / glue / stickers / pieces of paper) only for him to get bored stiff after about 2 minutes and go to something else.

He started nursery in January and so far has not brought home one piece of 'art'. Other children are karting home tons of the stuff.

I do ask occassionally if he wants to paint and his response is always 'no'. I am not worried at all. It just isn't his thing at the moment - probably a bit like your DS. To be honest I am not really arty either.

No advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Original poster

SarahMumtoAlex · 17/02/2010 09:55

Good to know I'm not alone in this and it does clam me down some, all DS's friends love to paint colour etc and rellies are always giving him art supplies and toys as pressies so I was begining to think that he was the only one. Got the anti-colouring book in the post this morning so I'll have a look this evening. Thanks for all the thoughts

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witchwithallthetrimmings · 17/02/2010 10:03

There is a brilliant book called "ish" and another one by the same writer called "dot". Both about children getting frustrated with not being able to draw and then starting to enjoy it. Did wonders for my ds

Also some one at nursery showed my ds how to do stick men this meant that he could represent scenes and ideas without getting frustrated. He is (non swanks) really good at this kind of thing now but at three he was still coming home with scribles

Original poster

SarahMumtoAlex · 18/02/2010 11:42

Thanks Witch, the book looks like exactly the thing I'm looking for, I've ordered it. The problem isn't with his imagination, its his confidence that he can ever get that imagination on paper. There's a whole world under and around our cofee table, with castles and rivers and villages and forests - but the leap to a drawing is just too far. I'll try out the stick men too.

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PandaG · 18/02/2010 11:51

if he is using imagination he is expressing his creativity in other ways, please don't worry.

will he maybe paint an object - ie cover a box or something just to get used to physically painting?

do you draw around him? maybe just doodles, patterns, really realy simple stuff?

Littlefish · 18/02/2010 12:23

DD did hardly any painting at nursery. Instead, she spent all day, every day dressing up and role playing. This was the way she expressed her creativity. It was incredibly imaginative and wonderful! Her fantastic nursery encourged her in all sorts of ways, and knew when to intervene and when to leave her alone.

Please don't worry - creativity can be expressed in so many ways. It really doesn't just have to be through art. It could be through problem solving, drama, music, numbers, rhymes, small world (eg. playmobil), cooking, den building, hide and seek etc. etc. etc.

UniS · 18/02/2010 23:10

normal for some kids that age. DS is about to turn 4 and will copy words, numbers etc, can form some letters and numbers on his own but won't "paint" or "draw". however he will copy simple diagram like drawings, so this week has learnt to "draw" a birthday cake with candles and stick people.

I suspect he may be like his father and can't "see" stuff in his mind in a visual manner.

At present I'm happy with DS s choice to not paint, he likes dancing, pretending,making up songs, dressing up, making stuff from play doh and other creative activities.

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