Toddler jealousy

[Sunbeammama]

My lovely DS1 is nearly 3 and we have a 4 month old now too. However DS1 has recently taken to hitting and kicking me and DH, whenever he doesn't get what he wants or the baby cries. Any suggestions? I have been trying to include him and give him lots of positive attention. When he hits shouting at him doesn't work, I'm trying time out but it is hard when I'm feeding the baby or something I can't always implement it. If anyone has any ideas I'd be v grateful??

No shouting at him...he is getting negative attention for his behaviour but it is still attention.
Firmly, in a low voice say nothing but NO and tell him that if he does it again he will be on the naughty step or whatever you use for his time outs.

If done again that day then time out and persevere if he makes a huge fuss and song and dance over it but say little and look cross.
It'll be tough not giving in to him for an easier time but it really makes things more tricky as they get older if they don't learn now that it isn't the way to behave.
If you are feeding at the time, then give the warning and then if behaviour continues, absolutely ignore until the feed has finished and then using the same techniqe, place him in time out.
It gets better!

Thanks for your advice. It's kind of what I've been doing, but really good to hear that it is the way to go so I will stick with it. I will try the feeding DS2 scenario too. Yesterday we had a great day until early evening when I was feeding baby and I wouldn't let him do something. He started hitting me, I had to leave the room and feed baby upstairs as he wouldn't stop. There wasn't much else I could do. He is normally so lovely and genuinely very sorry afterwards, I don't know where his aggression comes from. I think maybe a delayed reaction to DS2's arrival. I sure hope it does get better!