Please help - ideas for toddler who screams after every sleep!

[sb9]

My nearly two year old has always woken us up in the morning by screaming a rage! This happens after her nap too.

Its not a nice thing to wak up to every morning and i have no idea what to do.

I would like to just wake and maybe play or coo or something before we get her out of bed.

I have tried

• putting books in her bed and toys

• leaving her to scream but she gets worse and worse

and today have taken part of her black out blind down so she can see better...

Any suggestions please!!!!!

Is she thirsty? Dreaming? Does she need food (some kids wake with low blood sugar)?

DD had phases of this, especially around 2. Has she always done it?

DD does this if she wakes too early (and is therefore still tired). Is she ok once she's been up and about for a few minutes ?

When she is screaming, does she seem fully awake - or sort of out of it and beside herself ?

DS2 used to wake from his naps like this and it would take quite a while to console him. I wonder now if it was some sort of sleep disturbance like night terrors.

The reason I think this is because the state he was in at these times was very similar to the state DS1 would be in during Night terrors, which he'd have every so often in the night, and sometimes when waking from a nap - sweaty, screaming, inconsolable, eyes open but apparently not able to see me, sometimes pointing to things that weren't there as if hallucinating, not able to remember afterwards why he'd been upset.

These are normal and nothing to worry about. Upsetting to witness, though, and hard to help. I just used to cuddle and sing to him until he calmed down

My two both did this. I have to admit, I thought that's just what little ones did! I feel exactly the same as you; it's a really unpleasant way to greet the day and starts you off on edge.

My youngest is 2.6 and still does it some mornings but not every morning.

My DS (18 months) often does this after naps. And sometimes wakes in the night & does this too. I suspect Jamie's right; it might be night terrors (when its in the night). But after the naps it might just be waking suddenly from a deep sleep? Don't know, just saying. Waking suddenly, from a deep sleep (for whatever reason, either because someone wakes me up or due to the phone ringing or whatever)- particularly when its during a daytime nap- certainly makes me feel horrid so perhaps the little ones don't like it too?

DS did this

He used to sleep very very deeply, and wake up disconsolate

I think it was low blood sugar in his case

Thanks but she is not waking too early and still tired - this is as when she does do this she will cry and then go back to sleep.

Its not a night terror either as its alwsys when she wakes after adequate sleep and we have had them in the middle of the night.

Its seems she is in a rage to get out of bed mixed with anxious or something. Very hard to know what to do!

Oh and when she does wake she doesnt want food and doesnt have her milk until half an hour later so also know not blood sugar..

Any more thoughts?

DD1 was (and still is a bit) like this. In the morning she was usually ok, but after naps she could go into a full on 40min tantrum/hysterics. At 3.5 she doesn't really nap any more, but is still pretty grumpy if she does.

The only answer was distraction - put her in front of the tv for half an hour, or get straight out of the house. A snack and juice presented on waking up also helped.

It was a revelation when DD2 came along and proved to be totally happy and smiley and ready to go on waking up!

She will be quiet if i out the tv on but i feel thats rewarding her for screaming?

It def would be a relelation lol!

I don't think she will see TV as a reward for screaming, just be a distraction for her before the screaming escalates imo.

My ds was always like this, after a nap he is still pretty grumpy now and often doesn't want to talk or play, just sits and sulks for 20 minutes! I try and avoid giving him a nap now he's older. Sometimes food/ distractions work wonders though.

He always woke up screaming in the morning til he was 2 aswell, I think it was just because he was on his own and basically just wanted our attention immediately. I am pretty grumpy when I wake up too so I don't think it's that unusual... if I could get away with it, i'd probably scream and cry for half an hour too!

I think meandjoe has a point. it could be that your dd knows this is the quickest and most efficient way to get your attention.

My dd used to always cry to get me to come to her in her cot and it was driving me crazy. so i went into her as soon as i heard her stir and before she had a chance to cry, I went in all cheery, i did this for a few days so she got the idea that i would be there when she woke so didn't need to scream. Then over a period of a few weeks, I lengthened the time between her waking and me going in, listening out for her and timing it to go in just before she was about to start crying, it got to the stage that she was happy to wait for me and only cried if something was really wrong. It took awhile but was worth it.

I have to agree with meandjoe, I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with it, it's just what some babies/people feel like when they wake up. I know I am one of them.

DS1 always did it (after naps, and in the morning.) He only really stopped at 3 when he stopped having an afternoon nap and TBH he's still really grumpy if he falls asleep in the car.
I've always done exactly what the other poster suggested, put the TV on and given a drink and snack and he was okay 30 minutes later.
Maybe its genetic - I'm incredibly grumpy and unsociable in the mornings too!

Forgot to mention - DS2 is an angel when he wakes up - will happily sit in his cot then calls out mama when he gets a bit bored. I've done exactly the same with them both so there must be a personality element in there.