should I save nice things as treats" for ds?

[SlightlyFoxed]

Thinking aloud here really but would welcome thoughts please -

I'm on my own with ds (2.9) and if we (I) want to do something, we generally do. so things like going out for a cake are not a treat, but a fairly regular experience. We go to the zoo, museums, swimming etc whenever I feel inclined or if he asks. He has lots of toys and books (mainly from Christmas and birthdays or second hand) and if I think there is something he would enjoy I usually just buy it without making it into a big "treat". He has very nice manners.

This is sounding a bit smug I know, he is also a typical 2 yr old with plenty of tantrums and attitude!

Just wondering if I am storing up trouble, especially as he gets older and may start testing boundaries more? Should I be making more of a thing about "treats" and earning things through good behaviour? Am I giving him too much materially to make up for the fact that he only has me around and thus lacks a full parent's-worth of attention?

Experiences are great... they don't always have to result in a purchase, even a second hand one. So yes I think you may be setting a precedent for future expectations, but you spend lots of time with him which is most important

thanks Cyb

I guess I mean, should I say "oh you've been good, let's go to the musuem" rather than, "what shall we do today? oh you fancy the museum, ok then." (I am very intolerant of museum etc gift shops!)

Unless you are actually having problems with his behaviour and need to use incentives to try to get him to behave better, then no, don't make them into treats.

Just enjoy them together, that's what being young and spending time with mummy is all about, good fun experiences.

These things shouldn't be conditional on him being well behaved. He is 2, he is still learning what the boundaries ar and what it means to be good, he needs to get it wrong sometimes to learn. Don't make too big a deal out of it by making everything into a treat.

Also, doing this will make him behave in order to get a treat, instead of behave for the sake of behaving.

I think you should behave (in the matter of museums and so on) just as you would with any other companion you spend a lot of time with."What shall we do today?" I don't think you should set up artificial systems. I do think that you maybe shouldn't buy him stuff every time he asks - but it doesn't sound as if you do. And I do think that charity shops are a good idea. I always explained to mine what a good idea it was not to buy new stuff and when we bought from a charity shop lots of people benefitted. Am I burbling? Sorry if I am!