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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do you discipline a 2 and a half year old?

35 replies

squirral · 11/02/2010 22:18

When I tell my son not do something he can at times completely ignore me, what's missing is the consiquence. Get down off the chair or...
He doesn't have a favourite toy or comforter, he's not interested in stickers.
Stuck about where to go.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lukewarmcupoftea · 12/02/2010 13:58

My favourite moments of the day are when DD1 insists on doing things 'on my own, no mummy don't', but then has a massive strop because she can't, because she's only 2, but then an even bigger strop if I try to help anyway. Sigh - this too shall pass...

DorotheaPlenticlew · 12/02/2010 14:15

I do think the form of words used in toddler protests can be very funny though. It is hard sometimes not to smile. At the moment DS tends towards, in a dictatorial tone: "no Mummy, don't say no to me! Don't say no to me! SAY YES TO ME, MUMMY!"

Bumperlicious · 12/02/2010 14:18

Completely empathise OP, 2 is a very irrational age and I would get very worked up with DD, determined that she wouldn't think she could get her own way and be spoilt so I would give her a yellow spoon when she wanted the orange one just to make a point

A friend suggested the whole 'choices' thing to me, and my mum said 'just let her win some', she needs to exert some control in her life, so I am trying to be more laid back and accept that she isn't going to be spoiled by giving her the spoon she wants.

flowerybeanbag · 12/02/2010 14:26

I give DS1 lots of choices, but when he changes his mind after making a choice just because he's feeling contrary I don't let him change.

Counting to three works, I never get beyond two.

Putting things away - if he's tipped something all over the floor or it's time to tidy up something, if he refuses I just say that if I have to tidy it up it will go away. He then opts to tidy it up rather than lose it.

Threats to confiscate whatever he's playing with or whichever is the current favourite toy work pretty well also. Buses or tractors usually. He gets warnings first.

Have never tried naughty step, can't imagine for one minute he'd stay on it, and confiscating a toy is something it's easier for me to follow through on, especially with DS2 in tow.

Coldhands · 12/02/2010 19:31

I am going through this too! Its a bloody nightmare and the things that did work for us, don't atm. We used to confiscate a favourite toy. Now he just gets another one. The naughty step is recommended for age 3+ and I know he will not stay there so I',m not even bothering with that one. Counting to 3 did work at first but now he thinks it is a game. Telling him (and sticking to it) that he is losing his favourite programme doesn't work. He doesn't seem to care. Making it into a game does seem to work well. And for hitting, I tell him very sternly that it is naughty, then I take myself out of the room while he crys at the gate. He really doesn't like my stern voice, neither to I, its a bit loud but it works.

lou031205 · 12/02/2010 21:23

DD2 really 'gets' the naughty step. She will run to it. So I just have to say 'step', and you see her little legs toddling to it. She will stay there until I call her or go to her. Now (she is 2.6 today!!) she will sometimes call me if she thinks I might have forgotten about her . We have a chat about why she is on the step (she tells me) and then I ask her what she needs to do (normally say sorry to her sister), then she does it and play resumes.

Original poster

squirral · 12/02/2010 22:19

Glad I posted now as it seems a lot of us are having the same struggles.
I do use time-out approach mentioned by several people, I have a 2min sand timer and he watches that so he knows when his time is up. I find this gives a focus to distract him.
After posting I read about the "when, then" approach which is simply saying for example, "WHEN you get down from the chair THEN we can get ready to go to the park" Have tried it today and found it worked suprisingly well.

OP posts:

MarionCole · 12/02/2010 22:33

Counting to 5 works and the naughty step. Although I don't call it the naughty step, I tell him he will have to sit on his own for a while to think about what he's done. "Noooo mummy, I don't want to sit on my ooooooowwwnn."

Hi flowery, it's g i d d y k i p p e r, I got rumbled in RL so name changed. How's life with two?

Spacehoppa · 12/02/2010 22:37

The UCO seems to have a very over-developed sense of humour at the moment. She approaches both punishements and rewards with laughter. I am a bit upset that I am being out-psyched by someone who is not even three yet

kiwibella · 13/02/2010 22:01

a warning, count to three, and then, in theory, the naughty step. I don't call it the naughty step either - just tell her she will need to sit on the stairs. I make sure to explain / remind her why she is there as I drag her kicking and screaming take her and put her on the stairs and let her know that when she is ready to say sorry she can come off. There is no way that I could leave her for one minute, let alone longer. It usually doesn't take long for an apology.

Of course sometimes it doesn't always work first time... so I reinforce it with the warning, counting, and back on the stairs. Patience, consistency, consistency, consistency... and don't give in no matter how hard or pointless it seems.

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