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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

do you eat all together in the evening?

113 replies

SuperAmoo · 11/02/2010 20:48

Do your DCs eat separately from you ealier in the evening or do you eat together. I have a 4 yr old and 8 month old and at the moment we eat dinner together at 6. But 8 month old is struggling to make it and crying for half an hour before. But I really like eating altogether with DP who's home from work by then. What do you do? Do you put food away from you dinner and give it to DC's the next day for early dinner? I guess I also don't want to cook two meals from scratch! How do I avoid doing that?! Any suggestions?

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Beanie4 · 11/02/2010 21:44

We eat together,at 6, it seems to work for us. DD, 12 months, will sometimes have a snack in the kitchen with me while I cook. A few cubes of cheese, some dry cereal, or a slice of pepper in her high chair.

She is a food monster though, will happily eat her big dinner with us a 6 and has a snack when DS, age 4, gets in from school. If by 3.30 shes tired we will have milk, cuddle and a 15 minute nap, but not always. She has her big sleep in the morning and might need a little cat nap.

Rules are telly off, at the table, chat and eat Hope you find a way that works for you

bibbitybobbityhat · 11/02/2010 21:49

Op - you are so incredibly lucky that your dp is home by 6pm. It is a very rare thing indeed. Give your 8 month old a snack to tide her over. Try everything you can to keep to the routine you have.

bibbitybobbityhat · 11/02/2010 21:51

Op - you are so incredibly lucky that your dp is home by 6pm. It is a very rare thing indeed. Give your 8 month old a snack to tide her over. Try everything you can to keep to the routine you have.

muttonchop · 11/02/2010 21:51

I like eating with the kids, and we do it at breakfast time and at weekends - but I just don't want to eat dinner at 5.30-6pm! It feels way too early.

Our normal pattern is DDs have their tea at 5-5.30, then both are in bed by 7.30 and DH and I eat after that. I like the grown-up time as well - we have a drink together after DDs are in bed, and chat while one of us cooks.

I do rely on leftovers and the freezer to feed the DDs, but it seems to work fine.

Francagoestohollywood · 11/02/2010 22:11

I bet you didn't super! This eating times difference is difficult to overcome (btw pasta at midnight is too much for me as well )

ja9 · 11/02/2010 22:17

have only read op so sorry if i repeat

when dc were the age of your youngest they had their tea earlier but still sat with us at the table at dinner time and nibbled.

we eat together every night - between 5pm and 6:30pm depending on the day's activities. it is far from peaceful... and on the very rare occasions dh and i eat later than the kids, i wonder 'why don't we do this more often?'!

NoahAndTheWhale · 11/02/2010 22:19

I generally eat with the DC (6 and 4) between about 5:30 and 6pm. If DH were home by 6pm we would definitely all eat together but seeing as he isn't home yet I think it is nicer for me to eat with the children than fade away .

deleting · 11/02/2010 22:29

We have all our meals together at the weekend, but in the week we're only all together at breakfast, ds1\dp is at school/work for lunch and I wait for dp for dinner. I have a snack with them though, piece of toast or something.

PlanetEarth · 12/02/2010 08:52

When my kids were little and DP was getting home at 7, I used to eat a small amount twice, once with the kids at say 5 and again with DP later (when the kids were in bed, if I remember rightly). I think it's good for kids to have people eating with them, it's more natural and gives a good example.

Sometimes it was the same food, reheated later in the evening for DP, sometimes something different.

psychomum5 · 12/02/2010 09:39

we do now, but when mine were tiny I used to cook for them, and while cooking for them start mine and DH's meal. We often eat mals that need to 'cook in' for a good hour, so it never really felt as tho I was cooking twice, IYGWIM, just that I was cooking for a little longer.

If I was really organised, I would make enough of mine and DH's meal that I had left overs that I could re-heat the day after for the children, so that they still had our meals, just seperate from us.

That said, that was only ever during the week when DH was working.....at the weekends we always ate together.

Now everyone is older, we eat together every day, bar thursdays, which is the worst day for lots of dancing, cubs, scouts, football (DH does the football.....he does 5-a-side).

I love it, and we ensure that there is no TV, altho we do have music playing in the background. It is good for catching up on each of our days, and also for future planning.

lovechoc · 12/02/2010 19:25

DH gets home at 7pm so there's no way I'd be waiting til that time to eat dinner! DS and myself eat together at 5pm and DH eats when he gets in from work.
When he's not working during the week, we all eat together at 5pm. I am not a great fan of doing the washing-up at seperate times so prefer that we all eat together and have the kitchen all cleared by 6pm so I can chill out the rest of the evening.

Triggles · 12/02/2010 23:07

We all eat breakfast together, and I eat lunch with the DCs, but our 3yo is usually in bed by 6pm - and sometimes he is asking to go to bed at 5:30 if it's been a busy day, so he eats his supper at 4:30-5:00. Sometimes we eat together, sometimes we sit together while he eats (and we have coffee or something).

tassisssss · 13/02/2010 08:22

We tend to eat together on Mondays to Thrusdays between 5 and 6 which is a earlier than I'd like but works for us as a family (dh is out most evenings Mon-Thurs). Friday and Saturdays (depending on shat we're up to) we tend to feed kids early and eat once they're in bed. On Sundays we generally eat main meal at lunchtime, but sometimes by the time we're in from church my younger 2 need to go straight to bed so not always together.

OP when our guys were the age of your youngest they often had whatever we'd had for tea the night before re-heated at 4.30/5ish. Then they had pudding or finger food or something from our plates if we were eating later. Can you do a big snack at 3ish and see if she'll last till 6?

cranbury · 13/02/2010 12:10

Some of you eat so early, med background too so ate late as a child. I have similar aged children, I eat breakfast and lunch every day with DS and DD but they have their dinner at 5-5.30pm as DS (10 months) wants to be in bed by 6.15pm. Before DS was born DH would be home early at 6pm on a Friday and we would all have dinner together then.

I prefer to eat 7.30pm at the earliest usually its 8pm, DH is not normally home until 6.45pm though.

I find pushing eating later ends up with the kids having much more snacks during the day. Its along time before lunch at 12.45ish until 6.30pm.

lovechoc · 13/02/2010 18:29

cranbury that's why we have dinner at 5 most nights because lunch I usually serve at 12.15 to 12.30 every day. If I was to wait til 7ish to eat when DH came home, I'd be eating my hand off!lol

Elasticwoman · 13/02/2010 18:43

Yes - we all eat together most of the time and have done since dh was made redundant and started working from home at end 2007.

castille · 13/02/2010 20:26

Dinner at 5pm

My DC are having their after-school snack at that time! And I'd be chewing my arm off at bedtime if we ate that early.

CoteDAzur · 13/02/2010 20:30

We have an 8 month old and a 4 yr old, just like OP.

Baby eats after his bath, at about 6:30 PM. Then he has his bottle and is bed by 7:30 PM. DD (4), DH and I eat once baby is in bed, between 7:30 and 8:00. DD then goes to bed at about 21:00.

upahill · 13/02/2010 20:34

I'm not always home at tea time or Dh isn't at home at tea time but one of us will always be there iyswim.
Parent and DC eat together. Always have done. Now that they are older often they can have a snack when they come in and wait til DH comes home between 6 and 8 pm and then we can all eat together.

Same applies at weekends when I may be working away.

ibetitsonlyme · 13/02/2010 20:59

God I feel terrible reading this!

During the week, poor DS 2:2 months, eats breakfast in the kitchen with Cbebbies whilst I throw up in the kitchen sink (morning sickness remains at 40 weeks pregnant!) Its only at the weekend he has an eating buddy in the shape of DH whilst I vomit in privacy!

DS and I eat lunch together.

DS has tea at 5pm with DP (DP sees this as a snack!) whilst I clear up the days mess, then DP and I eat later around 8pm. DS is in bed by 7pm everynight.

Feel quite bad now!

ROCCIA · 13/02/2010 21:00

unfortunately dad usually comes back home too late, but we always eat together on weekends

yummumto3girls · 13/02/2010 22:52

DD1 age 9, DD2 age 5 and DH eat together at 6. When only had one DD would often cook for her and then eat with DH later after she was in bed. When DD2 came along felt it was more important to eat together and more worthwhile cooking bigger 'family' meals for all of us. Now have DD3 who is 16 weeks but can see when starts weaning that I will feed her earlier than everyone else and then she can sit in highchair with everyone else while we eat (prob with something to chew on!) that way I will get to eat without having to help her eat aswell and mealtimes will be less stressful.

duchesse · 13/02/2010 23:12

Yes, and always have done. We all ate at 7 when they were smaller, it's now nearer 7:30 or 8. We've always eaten the same things, except for when they were younger and had friends over who were going home before our usual supper time and weren't used to eating human food (ie would only eats chips and nasty mechanically rendered meat products).

It's always been one of my non-negotiables.

lovechoc · 14/02/2010 12:34

castille I'm in bed around 8pm most nights so food isn't really on my mind at that time of the evening. everyone's different

BirdyBedtime · 15/02/2010 09:10

I'm with with SuperAmoo and others who feel it is important to all eat together despite not getting home until after 5pm from work. My DCs are 4.8 and 13 months. We eat at 5.30-6pm every night. During the week DH sometimes doesn't get home in time for the start but nearly always makes at least part of the meal. If the youngest is getting hungry I put him in his high chair and give him some breadsticks or rice cakes just to keep him going - the days he is at nursery he gets a yogurt at 4.30 when the others are having their tea. Like IWIWMO (who does sound very organised!) I am often cooking a meal the night before and then heating up. It is a huge pain but I feel the benefits of all sitting down together outweigh this. We use it as a time to talk about what we've done during the day and I think it has defintely encouraged my DD to talk about what she has been doing. Saying that we do have one night (usually Sunday) when DH and I eat once the kids are in bed (often a takeaway ). Those nights the DCs get leftovers from the freezer or baked pots or something easy.

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