DS is 6.5 months old. Don't understand where it all went wrong

[littlelentil]

Title says it all really! I'm very down at the moment because DS is stuggling in all areas and I can't think what has gone wrong. He was very good between 3-5 months, only waking once in the night, generally happy, napped well etc. These days:
Started refusing to nap in cot so has been napping in push chair/car seat, but I cannot keep this up forever. Dropped to two naps per day before 6 months

Started multiple night wakings - last night was up every 1-2 hours crying.

Weaning not going very well. Does not like to be spoon fed so mostly has finger food but obviously not a lot goes in at this age, and I was hopeful that the night wakings would reduce once he was on solids. Still has one milk feed in the night

Development seems to be lagging behind other babies in my NCT group. He does not like to roll, refuses to contemplate sitting, doesn't make any attempts to move around. Has always hated tummy time. Upper body strength seems poor. I hate watching all the other babies eat their food and roll across the room. My son is very similar to the way he was at 3 months old.This all makes me feel bad and like I do not want to see my group anymore. I'm thinking of taking a one month break from them.

I just wish he was 'good' at something. Only thing I can come up with is he is good at standing.

Anyway I'm not sure what I hope to achieve by this post, perhaps someone has some advice. Is this the kind of thing I should talk to my HV about?

Yes, you do need to talk to your HV. You sound very down and very negative and your HV, or a GP may want to do a PND survey on you. Wanting to cut yourself off from friends is a bit of an indicator that not everything is quite right.

Your baby sounds lovely. There is no need to worry at all about not sitting or crawling at this age, it is still very young. Not all babies roll around either, some seem to use it as a mode of transport but others don't see the point

Weaning is tricky, it is so easy to tell you to relax but it is difficult to do. Remind yourself that milk is his main source of nutrition for a good while longer and let him enjoy food. If it helps just save back portions of your dinners to give him so you don't feel like you have wasted time cooking for him.

As for sleep, this is a bit of classic age for it to all go wrong I'm afraid. He is processing so much information at the moment and learning to do so many things (even if he isn't showing you yet) that is does disturb his sleep. Just one milk feed at night is great. You will get there

Hope that helps a little, please do talk to someone though.

What Indith said. There's nothing in your post that suggests anything wrong with your baby.

Regarding sleep, - yes, It can all start to go haywire at this age, also related to teething. Even if no teeth are visible, the painful bit is when the teeth are moving down though the gums.

You sound very low. Do go and talk honestly to a sympathetic GP or HV about how you are feeling, as well as your baby's development.

he sounds perfectly normal but if your worried speak your hv but i would speak to hv anyway as you do sound quite down and anxious not abnormal at all with young child i was the same

as for the sleep could he be teething? is he still having 4 bottles of milk or more a day my ds did not start real solids as i call it real meals till well over 8 mths

do not compare your child to others he will one day do what others cannot do they do it all in there own time

my ds gave his naps up altogether by the time he was 12mths and would only nap in swing chair or pushchair

my ds was also feeding through the night if he hadn't woke i would give him dream feed when i was going to bed this would keep him asleep a bit longer

also be careful what solids if any he is having before bed as it could be giving him belly ache

maybe raise head of cot in case getting a bit of a cold and maybe raised head may help him settle longer opens air waves

your doing a great job first yr i found was the toughest as it was a lot of trial and error i had my motto if in doubt rule it out , bonjela was at hand gripe water was at hand one of them would work lol oh of course and the feed in my ds growth spurt he was needing to be fed more through night

I think he sounds just fine and lovely.
As already said by the others milk is his main source - the food is trying out time for him - fun time to try out different tastes and flavours and learning how to eat.

One of mine never rolled or crawled. Just sat there until he walked.

Sleep issues crop up as they adjust to growing and developing.

chat to your HV to reassure you. And I bet your friends have similiar worries too. But if you evet meet bragging mummy - roll your eyes and ignore her.

Try to stop worrying and enjoy being with him.

Second what everyone else has said. In a few months time this will all be a distant memory and your ds will be eating and sleeping well. I had pnd with my first and it is a lonely, dark existance of 'putting a face on all the time', when inside I was screaming for help and I was very sad. It stopped me enjoying my baby and I will regret that as long as I live. I'm not saying you have this but you sound low and it becomes easy to resent your baby. Have a chat with someone if you can. Me 5 years ago never did and now I know there is no shame in it and there is soooo much help out there. Chin up chick xxxx

Please speak to someone. Your baby seems fine. My cousin's little boy is 8 months old and ponly this past week has been rolling on to his tummy, still shows no interest in moving about or crawling. Nothing wrong with him, he's fine.

When you start wanting to cut yourself off from people it does indicate that you are feeling bad about yourself and comparing your baby to others.

I did thesame thing when my ds was small and it was the biggest mistake. DS was very grumpy and hard to please, cried a lot, weaning was a nightmare and I became housebound and depressed. With hindsight I should have just told people that I was struggling and that ds was hard work but instead I shut myself away and pretended everything was fine and it took me til he was nearly 18 months to actually dare venturing out with him on my own and I didn't really enjoy him until that age either. I loved him but I was always so anxious aroubd him.

Not wanting to lecture you but I know how you feel. Sometimes everyone elses babies look so happy or advanced or sseem to sleep and eat so well but remember what you are seeing is only a snap shot of reality. All babies develop differently, sleep poorly at certain times etc. My ds was a champion sleeper in the night but day time was horrendous, he's 2.6 now and still only naps in the pushchair but I just go with it. A lot of it is about lowering your expectations and relaxing! They change so quickly and develop in leaps and bounds, just when you think he'll never get the hang of something, he'll master it and be on to the next thing before you know it.

Thanks for all your input. I think I know deep down that this is all normal but it is hard when they were once doing so good, and now not! I am sure I will feel better tomorrow. I am on my own a lot so I do tend to go out as much as possible, see friends etc and for this reason I blame myself for his problems, becuase he isn't home much. Perhaps I should not worry about it. He is a lovely baby really, always talking and laughing, perfect health etc.

I should probably stop trying to 'fix' these issues, I always thought I just had to get through the first year as best I could. I think my NCT group causes doubts and insecurities to creep in, but I really don't want to stop seeing them because of this. Will have to learn to smile politely when DS is doing the complete opposite of the rest of the babies. Its a shame I feel like this - I do really like the other mums and its not their fault!

littlelentil - when you have your first, you think it's all down to you - I used to natter to my DS1 non-stop because I didn't think he's learn to speak if I didn't (poor sod).

Then I had DS2, and realised that an awful lot of it is just their own developmental timetable and personality.

Also, there's a long game to play here - yes you had a good early bit, it will go pear-shaped for a bit, and then get easier again.

Hang in there - you are probably knackered after the bad night you've just had. I used to feel v. down in the mornings.

littlelentil, not sure i can be of any real help but thought it night be reassuring to know that i feel the same about my DD2. she does not do half the things that the others at my bf group do - no rolling, no waving of rattles, hates tummy time and gives up really easily. she likes standing and can sit well. she is also waking about 4 times a night, sometimes hungry,sometimes just wants to play .she is 6 mo next week and i havent yet started her on food but she's not good at holding things and i've never done traditional weaning, only blw, so it could be interesting!
I constantly feel guilty as she doesnt get half the attention DD1 had, but she is developing at her own rate and is happy and smiley.
try and enjoy it, they all level out eventually

Ur not alone in the sleep department! My 6.5 month old DD has been awake at least 7times per night since the end of Dec. We are shattered and because she doesnt suck a dummy the only thing that soothes her is the hairdryer! Think it must be about teething.

In terms of moving about, DD hates tummy time and just rolls on to her side. Has no interest in moving about. My DS was exactly the same and just developed physically when he was ready. Just enjoy the stage that he is at. DONT compare him to other kiddies, he is an individual.

If he is teethin he may not be fussed on eating. Try him with cold fruit and veg purees.

Good luck
Ps hope we get sleep soon!

He sounds just like my DS2 who is almost 10 months.

He has never really rolled over. He sat at almost 8 months and very recently crawled from a sitting position but it took him ages to build up the body strength to lift himself up rather than just flopping. He will now roll onto his tummy but never from his tummy onto his back. He is still not a confident crawler.

Again - it took him ages to get the hang of weaning and he still does not reliably sleep through the night although I do try and limit the milk. Finger foods always helped when I was having no luck with the spoon so meals ended up a combination of both.

One of my close friends has a DC who crawled at 6 months and was eating loads from the moment she was weaned and slept through from about 4 weeks. TBH I did avoid her for a while. Then I reminded myself what a gorgeous smiley boy DS is and told myself she was the one who should be jealous!