Sleep/eating patterns - I have no idea what to do!

[RelieRoo]

DD is 2 weeks old and I can't get her to sleep unless she's breastfed and held. Put her down, she wakes up, cris and I usually have to feed her again to get her to sleep. It's got to the point where she only sleeps on my chest at night (she won't even sleep next to me in the bed), which means I'm constantly half awake. She wakes every 2 hours for feeds and they tend to take about an hour for her to sleep again. I tried warming her basket with a hot water bottle and putting things in that smelt of me and DH, but it's not working.

I was OK with all this (thought she is so young, she needs to get used to the world and may grow out of it?) but a friend recommended the baby whisperer and having read it I feel horribly guilty that I've started her off on the wrong foot by letting her do this. I can't get her to do anything the book suggests and feel like a terrible mother. DD has no obvious daytime routine either and I'm at my wits' end.

Does anyone have any advice?

Do what makes you happy and sod everyone else/books.

Really, that is all you need to know, that you are doing what feels right to you. Everyone does things differently

please please put the bw down!! All these bollox books do is make new mums feel riddled with guilt an inadequacy. She's a tiny creature just 2 weeks old and needs her needs to be met as and when she indicates!

I wouldn't worry about any kind of routine until 3 months when they kind of just fall into it by themselves a lot of the time. you are doing really well with the bf and ime bf babies can't be "routined" as easily as ff babies as your supply is still getting established.

the only thing i would sugest to differentiate from night and day is to make day feeds busy and interesting and try to keep her awake for a little while after feeds say half an hour or so.Make night feeds quiet and low stim ie don't go downstairs to feed in front of the tv etc.

re the putting down to sleep thing i can't help i'm afraid but i'm sure someone will come along who can

have you tried wrapping in blanket so feels close to you my ds was like this i found wrapping him snug in blanket forget how you call it now but like they do in hospital feeding then moving in to moses basket with rolled up towel next to him he gradually got used to being in there and felt like he was snug and laying next to something or someone to him he just liked the closeness maybe wrap her in blanket with bit of breast milk on it so she feels like she is laying on you and can smell you iykwim

I know just how you feel, the guilt just kills you doesn't it! If you're happy with how it is, then go with it. If you're not, then first bear in mind that babies change almost daily and it won't be like this for long. My dd was the same to start with, although I could get her into her cot after 10/15 minutes when she was deeply asleep. Maybe try just laying her down and leaving her for 5/10 minutes and seeing what happens. But remember, my dd is now 10mo and sleeps 12 hrs at night and 2 hrs in the day without any fuss. Yours will be the same before you know it!

i never followed any books there only good for propping wobbly table legs

each child is different and first few months is so trial and error i used to also have head of Moses basket/cot raised as ds hated lying flat

your doing fine but if your not sleeping well getting her settled in cot / moses basket will be better for you try wrapping and laying down it may/may not work but worth a try some babies like the closeness

do you mean swaddling bubblagirl? This worked really well for both my dc.

yeah lol thats it new it was something just didnt want to say wrong thing ha ha

Please please don't use a hot watter bottle to warm up her cot. I am not sure about where I read that but I think it could increase the risks of cot death.

Just think about it - two months ago she was being carried everywhere in a very very warm place! Swaddling is a very good idea, and try to take her in a buggy for walks. She will get used to being seperated from you in good time.

Babies are NOT born with a routine. This simply doesn't exist. Many two week old babies will feed every two hours, and fall asleep. Please please bin the book if it makes you feel bad. Your DD is only two weeks old! The first few weeks are very very hard. Is there a friend/family you could ask to take your DD out in her buggy for a little walk so you could get a break? Or in a sling?

You can warm the cot with a bottle, just make sure its not too hot and always take it out before the baby goes in.

RelieRoo my ds was just like this, although he seemed to feed constantly for at least the first 8 wks. I cried alot! He would not be put down and I spent the first 2 wks with him sleeping on me. We tried everything, warm moses basket, amby natures nest, swaddling, slings etc. He was a ventouse delivery and a friend recommended a cranial osteopath to check out whether he may have suffered pain folowing this delivery. We saw an osteopath when he was two wks old and it changed everything. Crucially for us she recommended a dummy which I had been advised against by breastfeeding counsellors, however, my ds had tension headaches and the sucking relieved this massively. He was able to lie flat following the first couple of sessions and he then really took to his pram and loved to sleep with the motion. We then coslept and I fed lying down on and off throughout the night and we both managed to sleep. It really took me 8 wks to get to a stage when we had an idea of sleeping/feeding times so I would not worry about this at all if you can. For me a routine fell into place when I could understand my baby and what he needed, it took 17 wks but felt natural and worked for us both!! He has always been a bad sleeper but I'm so glad I spent 6 months meeting every need he had and not worrying about the books! It seems such a distant memory now he is 10months old!