2 year old DD violent towards her baby brother

[auntierissy]

My daughter who is 26 months has started being really horrible to her brother who is 6 months. She scratched him today and drew blood, and often tries to hit him. Obviously am very protective of the baby who gets really upset when this happens. I try not to leave them alone together, but she is more likely to do it when i am around. Have tried naughty step, giving her a firm telling off and ignoring bad behaviour, but it still continues. She also bit my friends daughter yesterday. Any advice?

Sounds like attention seeking. Do you teach her how to play nicely with brother? Talk to ds while she's listening "you love your big sister don't you?" etc Get her to do little jobs while you look after ds and slap on the praise? Ask her to get him a toy and when he smiles tell her he smiled just for her.
You need to get her to see that having a brother means someone else to love her rather than someone to reduce Mum's time for her.

At 6 months, DS will be much more of a person to her than he used to be and therefore more threatening to her 'position'.

How about arranging some one to one time with her where your partner looks after DS. she will lap up the attention from you and it will help to affirm how to feel about her.

and - every time she is violent or is naughty, say 'no 'x', we don't do 'x' in this house'. Remove her and put her on the floor in a very boring corner for 2 minutes., Then go and talk to her and ask her if she's ready to say sorry (my 18 month old has been taught to say sorry by gently stroking the 'victims' arm, so no talking is not an issue really with this I don't think). If she says yes then up she gets and does it and if she says no, she stays on the floor and she's to let you know when she's ready to apologise. No drama, that's just what happens as it were.

oh and don't leave them in a room together while you nip to the loo even. There have been some awful stories....

I agree with harecare. she sounds jealous. Just remember that she is still a baby herself.

I second the advice harecare gives, and add that maybe the baby might like to get her a toy

Work extra hard to include her - when changing his nappy, it can be her job to give you the wipes - what an important job that is - she deserves lots of praise for that, yes?

And yes, telling her "no" and removing her when she bites / scratches is important to.

Finally, there's 15 months between my 2. when I brought ds2 home from hospital, ds1 looked HUGE and it was easy to forget that he was a baby too!

Just keep reminding yourself that you are still counting her age in months, don't expect her to understand more just because she looks so big at the side of a tiny baby.

too

and x-post with mrsT - I agree with her as well

Thanks - some good advice there. Will take DS to the loo with me, or there is my daughters potty lying around - v tempting, but don't know what the neighbours would think!!