I can't cope with my almost 3 year old - please give me advice

[Julezboo]

He doesnt sleep,

Eats very little

he is naughty. I am exhausted.

I is three on the 16th Feb. everything is a battle. Few weeks ago he threw his full cup at my face and give me a big lump above my eye brow. It hit me so hard I claked out for a few seconds, I thought it scared the shit out of him when i came round he was sobbing saying "sorry mummy"

He just threw his shoe at my eye. This is after I have been trying to get him to nap or sit quietly for half an hour because he had us up most of last night and has been waking 2/3 times a night for the last couple of weeks. He's on the naughty corner now playing, it doesnt effect him. He wont listen. He wont get into his carseat with me having to fight him for ten minutes, I dread the school run, he refuses to hold my hand when we are out and runs off (i do keep hold of it or pick him up)

He doesnt eat very well as hard as I try. Getting him dressed is a battle and bedtime is hell. He is meant to be starting nursery after half term but I am worried what he's going to be like in nursery.

I just got him off the corner and he's ripped the wallpaper. I am sick of hearing the words WHAT and WHY.

I feel like such a terrible mum, I am usually very patient, I have lost it with him today and shouted.

I don't ever remembering it being this bad with DS1

• blacked out

me too
just some things I've noticed
DS is an angel in nursery afaik, does your DS 'behave' when others look after him?
Is the throwing malicious or naughty? DS loves throwing things which we;re trying to stop but it's not to throw at something, just throwing iyswim
We';re having a little bit of success by getting DS to act out his naughtiness with a toy (so his Teletubby La La does the naughty thing, tantrumming, jumping on bed etc) and then we both tell La La off - he loves it and it does distract him from doing what he's doing
Otherwise - sympathy!

If you are a terrible mum then I am too, a couple of times when he's whittering (not wingeing or tantrumming, just non stop talking) I have snapped "Just let me finish a thought in my head" at him

Thanks Stealth, he's just screamed for ten minutes or so because I wouldnt let him ride his scooter in the house.

I have no idea WTR to the throwing it seems to just be an attention thing (i was on the phone to the bank at the time embarassingly!)

He's worse when he's tired which is why I think I am having a hard time with him today and I am tired too which doesn't help. I've had about 3 hours sleep a night for the last 2 - 3 weeks. He is going to his nans tonight though so I can get a full night!

DS is an angel when others look after him! He used to go to a cm full time until just before xmas and she couldn't believe some of things he would get up to with us!

You have my total sympathy, you sound knackered but you are not a bad Mum. 3 year old boys are HARD WORK - I have one myself!

Best advice I had was on a TV programme where a Mum of 4 boys said "Boys are like dogs, they need exercising twice a day". I find that taking DS out to playgroups, swimming etc to tire him out works very well.

Re the food, DS eats more if he is in some way involved in "making it" - ie getting stuff out of the fridge, chopping or mixing stuff. He likes sandwiches and "picnic" stuff for lunch so he can run round and eat it at the same time.

I'm afraid we watch a DVD under the duvet if he needs some quiet time in the day, I'm sick to death of having a fight over naps and he's a bugger if he gets overtired.

If he tantrums about getting dressed I bribe him and say "If you won't get dressed, we can't do XXXXX - XXX being something he likes like going on his bike"

BTW DS is an absolute angel in nursery so don't worry about that!

Much sympathy! I have a 2.3 yr old with a real feisty streak- feistier than I remember either of his sisters being! He too is appranetly an angel at nursery etc, but a right little monster for us. I try to

1. Pick my battles. If he refuses to listen to reason about wearing gloves when it is -6 outside, I let him have his own way, but bring the gloves with me- he invariably asks for them when we have been out 5 minutes!! Dh asks me why I let him have his own way so much, but sometimes if I didn't I'd be fighting with him every minute of the day!

1. For things that are definite no-nos (eg hitting/ throwing) he gets told off and the hitting implement removed. I have put him up in his room for a few minutes for more serious offences, until he calms down! He usually throws a major tantrum, but stays there, and I tell him when he is ready he can come and say sorry and we can have a cuddle. He is a stubborn wee bugger, but I am more stubborn, and he usually is glad of a hug when he runs out of steam.

1. I try to see the funny side. He tells me "I don't wnat to get dressed" I say "duly noted, but afraid we have to", while acrting him through to the bedroom. He says "I don't like my trousers", I reply "Don't you? What kind of trousers would you prefer, oh fashionista?" while pulling them on. He says "I don't like my socks!" "Oh well, you waon't see them for your shoes." Cue- "I DON'T LIKE MY SHOES!" You have to laugh- what a torment to be 2-3years old, and hate everything! He doesn't like me either, apparently, which I've told him is a shame, since I don't think anyone but his biological mother would ever put up him! I sometimes think he just needs me to acknowledge his inner rage!

can i join your club? my ds will be three on the 16th and is very similar to you....if you had have an easier older child this might have your perception of dc2 skewed...this is what others have told me.....hes the normal one.....the others are just angelic.

he constantly contradicts himself...want cheese, hate cheese, its broken, puit it in the bin etc etc

i to dread the school reun, everyone elses children stand with their parents and hes running round and round jumping in puddles next to people and bashing into them. at the morning drop off he settles himself into ds1 class and tries to get undressed....thi is with baby in sling

there is some sunshine throughout the day and underneath it all he is a good person.....but we need to be out the house EVERY day and i need to go to bed early to cope with the next day ahead.

i do think he has more testosterone!

My ds of 3.5 is very full on and does have a temper.He will hit and throw stuff and get so cross. Naughty step doesn't work well for me but taking toys away does.

I do find getting him ut once day does have a good effect on him be ita walk/bike ride/swimming/playgroup.

He has always been a poor sleeper and early riser which is hard at the moment as I am 36 weeks pregnant. So in the afternoons I will put on a dvd and we snuggle under duvet and usually we both nap.

Regarding food I do find the picnic approach works well during the day and if he helps prepare something like soup and butters the bread himself (as he tells me all the time he is a big boy) it helps or picks out hat he wants in a sandwich he will eat better.

If your ds is anything like mine he wants to run before he can walk and wants to do things that for his age are dangerous and he doesn't unde4rstand the consequences so ends up frustrated when I will not let him.

You sound like a great mum btw

Thank you all.

He finally feel asleep at 3pm in the car (on the school run!) Nanny has him tonight we are exhausted and DH is poorly as well.

Our naughty corner is by the front door away from every one else. Although now I will have to find something else as he has taken to ripping the farkin wallpaper!!!

Will try the bedroom thing though...

Yesterday we made cake and he had a major meltdown because I wouldnt let him eat them as they came out of the oven!!!!

I do feel better, DS2 and I went and bought yummy food for tea, we each got a magazine and just had a quiet half hour sitting in the car outside DH's work waiting for him