How to encourage 6yo dd to focus on schoolwork

[Indiestarr]

Just been to parents evening, and as we suspected dd is having problems focusing on her writing and reading. Verbally she's brilliant, but when it comes to getting words down on the page or reading them she's more and more reluctant to concentrate. She'll sit there and sigh and say 'I can't do it,' before she's even started. With reading she sounds out words she already knows and seems to have lost the will to focus.

I see this myself when I try and do homework with her - she'll start off OK but as soon as it gets tricky she'll get listless and lose interest. Also it didn't used to be such a battle to get her to do her homework but now she always protests (they do get quite a lot - every week there's a worksheet to fill in, three books to read, number bonds to practice and six spellings and six frequent words to learn). The teacher says 'generally' the other kids all do it so I don't want to be the one whose kid doesn't bother, but it's hard when it's a battle every time. Plus if you're having to force them you start the task off on the wrong foot.

My feeling is that she likes to do things well and because she finds reading and writing hard she's become despondent, and she's lost the motivation to try. If she can't do it perfectly she'd rather not bother at all. So what I'm hoping for advice on is how to convince her that it's trying that's important and it doesn't matter if you don't get it right every time. Are there any tried and tested ways of encouraging a kid who acts like this about schoolwork?

Or....could too much TV/Club Penguin/DS be responsible for this decline...just a thought..........

That sounds like a lot of work!

With my dd (7) if we do her homework sraight after school, it takes her 15 mins (reading, 5 spellings and 5 sums copied out twice and worksheet) but if for whatever reason we dont get started til after 7pm, it has often been 2 hours + and lots of tears and shouting . Her writing is pretty untidy, but we are working on it. Teacher has agreed a time limit for working on homework, and if dd can do it all neatly in that time, great. If not, as long as she can do it verbally, then its ok.

How about asking teacher to ease off homework a bit for a little while? Or giving as much as possible for the week ahead, on the friday so you can work on it in small chunks of time? Is she doing oxford reading tree (biff chip etc?) I almost lost the will to live reading those, but thankfully weve now moved onto the magic key ones and they are a little easier to cope with.

She's 6 - back off, don't do anything school related at home and wait. there is no research to show that any primary school homework apart from reaidng has ant impact at all - so ignore it.

And as for the 7 year old spending 2 hours on homework - words fail me!

Thanks Mousey. The teacher said don't worry too much about the homework as it just consolidates what they've done in class but when OH asked if the other kids did it she said they generally did, so although I now know it's not a huge problem if we don't do it, I feel that if the others can manage it she should too!

I like the idea of getting it done straight away and setting a time limit on it. Think I'll try this out.

Yes we are doing Biff and Chip etc - I quite like them actually! But we are doing a bunch of other ones besides - Sunshine Spirals and Reading 360 for instance - and some of them are soooooo repetitive!

Hi Seeker, thanks - the thing is I think I'd be more inclined to leave it if I'd been told she was a model pupil in class and tried really hard, and it was just at home she had a problem, but this isn't just a homework issue it's a general approach to work issue, and so I feel we need to step in and do something to encourage her. Surely if we send the message 'OK well you don't like this boring old schoolwork so despite what your teacher says let's not bother' that's going to make things worse!?!

I sympathise. My ds1 detests doing anything he doesn't feel he is good at. I also agree with the others that your DD is just being given far too much homework. Primary school is all about learning to enjoy learning and building up your social skills, so far as I'm concerned, not about filling in tiresome worksheets. If your teacher is critical of your dd not always completing her tiresome homework assignments, perhaps she should consider that maybe a better teacher would be able to fit more learning into classroom, rather than getting everyone to finish their work off at home!!!

Could you ask for tips from the teacher on how to make your dd's reading and writing experiences more fun??? Does she have to stick to Oxford Reading Tree books, or could you get her to try to read other books that engage her interest more? Or do writing activities that she really enjoys about subjects that interest her. I think it's a bit sad that 5 and 6 year olds these days are already getting homework. I don't remember getting any homework until I started secondary school, the result being that I thought homework was grown up and exciting for the first year... And I still got into Oxford, despite the dire failure of my primary school to send work home with me. I did have parents who took me to the library all the time and made me write thank you letters after every birthday and Christmas, though, so plenty of reading and writing practice there!...

Sorry - just read the other messages that appeared as I was typing my text! I still think you should back off a bit on some of the homework, though.

Thanks Rabbitstew. Well, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to relax a little bit on the homework and see how it goes. I may have been guilty of showing anxiety if she didn't do it properly in the past, which has probably made it seem all the more onerous. And may well have been the cause of this whole problem

Ah, now you're not the only one guilty of that! I constantly feel pangs of guilt when I see my ds1 avoid all the things I've in the past lost my temper with him about, because I didn't think he was trying hard enough (but probably, in reality, was trying hard enough, just wasn't doing "well enough"...). Unsurprisingly, he enjoys and is good at all the things I've enjoyed doing with him in the past.

Might be worth getting her eyes tested??? (I say this as I have spent so long telling my reception aged child to 'look at the word' only to find out he's so long sighted he can't see the blinking words!