LO prefers me to Daddy

[Clockspotter]

I've seen lots of threads that address this prob but the other way round!

From day 1 I have done the bulk of the childcare as my OH works long hours and shifts, but now that she is 20 months, she still wont let him read to her (snatching the book and bringing it to me with a hard glare), she lavishes me with cuddles but wont let him cuddle or kiss her and he can only bath and put her to bed with a great deal of negotiation and what ranges from a wobbly bottom lip to full-scale, head-banging hysteria if I'm in the house.

He cant carry her or amuse her while I'm trying to prepare a meal for example, which puts tremendous pressure on me. And if I have a shower she has to get in too rather than have breakfast with Daddy!!

Its almost as if she has it in her head that certain things are Mummys jobs and she wont be torn away from my side in case I leave. Wonderful, but I would like my partner to share the magic too!

Anyone else in this position? As I say, there seem to be a lot of 'Daddy' fixations but this ones a determined Mummys girl!

Both of mine were like that and to a certain extent still like that.

I have a boy and a girl and both of them have strong attachments to me but I think it's mostly because I am with them all the time practically, and I do pretty much everything. However it has got a lot better recently with dh taking more of a role as I have started to do things by myself (such as driving lessons and just going for dinner with my friends - before the kids have gone to sleep). But some things are definitely still mummy's job, like making milk in the morning. And my dd throws the largest wobbly if dh wakes her in the morning or tries to take her to the toilet.

Also I must add, when complaining to a friend about the same issue, I was told in no uncertain terms that it was partly my own fault, because I never allowed dh to be with the kids alone as I often (usually subconsciously) thought he wouldn't do a good enough job.

Know what you mean about the last bit. I know he was reluctant to get stuck in in the beginning but I am also a bit of a control freak and have to stop myself bossing him about sometimes!

I suppose it'll all change when she gets slightly older so should make the most of it but sometimes it makes life nigh on imposs!

Ask your hubby to read one of her stories to you and ask her if she'd like to listen to..then cuddle up with hubby and enjoy!

This is saying to her...I love stories with Daddy.

Take a cup of coffee each to make it sociable into the bathroom and bath her together asking each other tp pass things and help etc...do thid for a few occasions then after 2 or 3 times, just as she is getting out, pop off to the loo or to answer the phone saying you'll be right back and then come back in just a minute or so. This is showing her you trust Daddy.

If she plays you off against each other, always side with Daddy...give him a hug to make him feel better if she won't kiss him...ooh! Come here Daddy, I'll kiss you...etc...

It will seem a bit daft but not to her. She will see Mummy who she adores loving spending time with Daddy. Given time, she will simply find the idea normal but at the moment, she thinks you are in charge of everyone...incuding him!!!