Worried about 15 month old development

[globex]

Ergh - this kind of question must get asked so often but I am worried so I'll ask again..

My (nearly) 15 month old isn't walking or talking and I'm starting to worry. Should I be worried? And is there anything i can do? And is all this my fault?

Every now and then he'll say something and we'll think 'thats it, his first word!' and then he'll never say it again - so we figure its been some kind of collective auditory hallucination. So far we've had 'tea', 'tummy', and 'mama' and 'daddy'..

He started crawling at around 5 months but hasn't shown much interest in walking. He'll stand up for a short while but then either walk on his knees or just revert to crawling if he wants to get anywhere..

I went back to work when he was about a year old and although I wasn't the most engaging parent I'm starting to think that he'd be better off with one-on-one time rather than the nursery. But he seems to love the nursery so perhaps I should just leave it..

What should I do?? I'm not really a pushy parent - I wanted him to calmly learn everything in his own time but he's obviously not.. If I don't buy flash cards and point and name constantly is it considered neglect?

Definitely nothing to worry about - my 20mth old doesn't say more than the odd word, and a couple of my friends kids didn't walk until they were 18mth +

I know it's hard not to worry when everyone is telling you about their child geniuses, but he will get there in time !

Definitely too early to worry about speech.
Walking is a little bit late, but nothing out of the ordinary at all.
So no you shouldn't be worried, no it isn't your fault, and there's prob very little that you can do.

How much should I be doing? I was horrified by my sisiter in laws constant 'and this is the fridge - see how the door opens? ooh what that inside? Is that the cheese? you like cheese, don't you? But its a bit salty for you - lets have some milk shall we?'
Should I have been doing that all along?!
I've started to try but its just not natural for me - I do talk a lot but its not object-based, if you know what I mean..

My DS didn't walk until 16mo, my DN didn't walk until 20mo, so please don't worry abotu that.

My DS was a super crawler, and this can make them less inclined to walk as they can get round so speedily. So as your DS is happy crawling, and can at least stand but just chooses to crawl, then there really isn't anything to worry about. And when he starts walking, you'll actually miss watching him crawl as it is so cute!

Re speech - many babies will actually forget the first few words they learnt to say and then not say them again for a long time. My DS's first word was bread but it disappeared after a few days and then didn't reappear for months. I have a list of the first 10 words my DS said, and then a list at 18months of the 20 words he had by then - and only half of the 10 appear on that list, but they have all since reappeared. The important thing is whether he can communicate with you - get your attention, get across that he is hungry or thirsty, look like he is listening to you etc.

The talking with them thing is weird as you're getting nothing back verbally but you don't need to contrive anything - just describe what you're doing "I'm just putting your fishfingers and peas on your plate. Here's yous cup of water. Let's get your bib" or say "Here is your teddy" rather than just handing it to him in silence. I never did the showing him things thing - just incorporated naming objects into our daily activities rather than it being an activity in itself.

DD did not walk till 19 months, she did talk early an have lots of words but as you say, they are often said once and then you won't hear hem again!

Everyone was more concerned about DD not walking than I was. I knew she would get there in her own time.

Really do not worry, he sounds just fine to me

Will also second that having the telly off really helps. I did not put it on at all till DD was 2 and even now it's very limited.

Agree on running commentary - they need plenty of silence to absorb the words you've just said, so short sentences with long pauses much better. "Here's your teddy" and then silence, gives him time to realise that the object you gave him has a word associated with it, and that word is teddy. "Here's your teddy, doesn't he have a pretty coat, it's red, shall we watch CBeebies, oh i'll get you a snack first" just confuses them.

Speech also hugely variable - my NCT group was a super speaker (3 word sentences by 16 months), a pretty good one (my DS - 3 word sentences just now at 22mo) and some who are still only on single words, only about 20 of them. Not a problem until they get over 2 I think.

globex
my son had severe language delay. The worst thing you can do is get angsty about it although I know how it is difficult to remain natural when you are feeling concerned inside.

Thething with language in children this age is for them to hear it in a relaxed and natural way - and preferably in a fun context.
I used to tickle my Ds and stop and then say 'more?' as a question. I just did it to get him to giggle. Meanwhile I was talking to him, asking him questions in loads of other situations that I saw as 'oppertunities' ( poor little bugger).

Unsurprisingly 'more' was his first word - the time when both of us were relaxed and playing was the time he chose to speak...

Play with him and use fewer words but have more fun.

Unlike others I won't say "don't worry" as i think we get hit with waves of people telling us 9 for good reason) to ignore our fears. But I think mums rarely worry for absoloutely no reason so, if you are still concerned in a month or so go and see your GP.
With any speech delay serveices can be hard to get whilst early intervention can make a huge difference.
I always think 2 is a logical point even though most kids will start naturally after that point anyway - but it is young enough to be in the system so that if a child is still struggling you can get access reasonably quickly IYSWIM

Boys tend to talk later than girls. DS is 16 months and has one clear word "Look", he also says "baba" for bye bye, "Dada" (but not "Mama" unless he is very upset, then he sort of wails it) and will sometimes make a sound when I hand him something which I guess is supposed to be "ta". He doesn't do animal noises at all.

I do talk to him all the time about all sorts of rubbish, but not so much baby-speak, ie I don't do constant "Oh, here is the fridge, what's in here" etc etc - for one thing I'm a single mum and it would get exhausting! But I try to point things out when we are walking or in a new place, e.g. ducks or if someone is walking a dog. Now he can point it is much easier because he will point to something and I can tell him what it is. We read a lot of books as well - I pick them up in charity shops and we go to the library. I know that he does recognise more words than he can say, because for example he can point to his nose, mouth, toes and knee (and willy ) on request.

He has only started walking in the last week - but he has got confident very quickly and will now walk halfway down our street if I let him. I think 18 months is the age at which they flag up a concern if they are not walking.

dd has always been chatty but tbh some of the boys in her room at nursery were a lot later than she was with words. Re walking she was a super efficient crawler and didn't walk until 17 months.

However if you're concerned do see your gp/hv and ask for an assessment. A friend of ours ds could have really done with some intervention early on re his speech which due to his mother being clueless a total cow he didn't get. However this is far from similar to your case as you are understandably concerned so I'm sure things will work out fine.

Just chat to him about day to day stuff as it occurs and give him time to absorb the information . Friend of ours were so contrived and ott with their ds in this respect it was painful being with them. Walking down the street amd really falsely saying "oh look x there's a CAR, a RED CAR, it's a BIG RED CAR and it's next to a TREE!" etc.etc. Poor kid was bombarded relentlessly!

There's every chance this is nothing to worry out - but no harm in keeping an eye on things. If no change by 18 months I would start off with GP or HV, on basis that they are likely to either say wait and see or start you on a waiting list - so you might as well at least get started now, even if your DS doesn't get seen for quite a few months. Obviously your DS may come on v. well in the meantime, in which case any referrals can be cancelled.

Minx - the type of approach you are criticising - emphatic and repetitive is actually the recommended approach for children with language delay (hanen, backed up by research).

useful books:-
You Make the Difference by Ayola Manolson
Parent's Guide to Speech and Language Problems by Debbie Feit
Baby Talk by Sally Ward.

Latter two are very likely to be in the library.

useful websites:-
www.hanen.org
www.ican.org.uk
www.teachmetotalk.com (commercial site but has v useful free video clips and info)

Both DS and DD walked when they were 15 months. DS crawled very fast so didn't see the point in walking I don't think. DD shuffled along and gradually got round to walking.

I really don't remember either of them saying much at 15 months - probably some animal noises etc. DS spoke earlier - by 18 months he said quite a few words although we needed to interpret. DD was later but by about 2 she said more things.

They are 6 and 4 now and don't stop either talking or moving .

Thank you - I think I'm going to have to be a bit more proactive.. Maybe the idle parenting will have to wait until he's at least mastered the basics.

I do talk to him about day-to-day things and we don't have the tv on THAT much (its a little shocking how it completely absorbs their attention) but perhaps repetition would work.. My secret shame is that he doesn't really like books - my mother is a children's librarian and my father is a graphic artist so we have the finest childrens books known to man all about the house. Guests love them - DS just likes to turn the pages and gets a bit screechy when anyone tries to tell him a linear story.

Will bear in mind a GP visit if things haven't improved in the next month or so..

it's really completely normal for a one year old to be uninterested in books, don't worry at all about books, it will come with time/maturity.

and don't be criticising yourself for supposed idle parenting; just carry on talking through your daily routines as you have been doing, dressing/eating/washing/teeth brushing/baths are all good opportunities for using similar vocab. Eating/drinking tend to be good incentives for a kid to try to communicate .

I think if you are concerned about development then its worth talking to your health visitor. It is better than being on your own and worrying.

Development is variable between children and I am sure that the problem is not your parenting. My son said his first word at 14 months and my daughter has words at 9 months. Yet I have parented them almost the same. My son had glue ear. If your child has had a lot of ear infections or a snotty nose it may well be worth asking for a hearing test.

Just looked up 'You Choose' on amazon - that's probably the best reviewed book I've ever seen there! I've now ordered it - it looks fun..
Not sure if its the same series but I see there's also a You Choose: Pearl Harbour and You Choose: Civil Rights Movement. I think those can wait.

My DD is also just 15 months and not talking, other than an extensive repertoire of animal noises! I was worried too so I spoke to a speech therapist a couple of weeks ago who said not to worry about talking until the child is 18 months old (incidentally she said that her son didn't start talking until he was nearly 18 months and since she is a speech therapist she must be doing all the right things!)

DT's are both 15 months old - DT1 has been walking well for 6 months,is now running chats constantly and has loads of words

DT2 - has only in the last week taken steps (6 is the most so far!), and babbles but only has a couple of words

There is such a huge difference between children at this age that I wouldn't really worry - I know that is easy to say though. We have 2 older children and have learnt not to compare!! FWIW DS only had 2 words at 18 months (Dog & Dad - he never said mum) and by the time DD arived when he was 2 4mths the HV who was doing her newborn checks said DS was very advanced with his speaking! Now at 6 he never shuts up! I think that they like to absorb new things, be it speech or physical advancement then when they are ready they'll do it.

Agree on the running commentary - doesn't have to be OTT though - also the book thing too - DT2 loves books she will sit and listen to a whole story - DT1 just likes to turn the pages (or rather I do and she tries to shut the book) and look at the pictures Best advice I think would be to enjoy your son at this age as it goes so so quickly.

Hope this ramble helps

My dd is 3, and still talks jibberish, very slow at talking. She walked at 14 months. With her, I did the whole talking, 'training' by-the-book parenting and it made no difference.
My ds is 15 months, says dadda only, and has just started walking. I couldnt care less any more, I refuse to be drawn into the build-a-better-baby-brigade!
Im sure your child is utterly yummy, and just enjoy her, she will do it all in time.

of course you know best if there is anything really wrong but i just wanted to add that up until just after 15 months my ds2 showed absolutely no sign of walking or talking. ever since then he has come along in leaps and bounds with both walking and saying loads of words. so do try not to panic quite yet, they can make massive developmental leaps very suddenly and unexpectedly.