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Behaviour/development

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What's normal for a four year old?!

5 replies

picklepud · 08/02/2010 14:45

DH and I are in dispute over this! DD 4 is lovely, creative, enthusiastic etc. However, often behaves in over the top way, daft voices, seems as if she's acting rather than being the "real her". She occasionally hits friends and still finds it hard to share things, not all the time. She also melts down over things which seem trivial, eg sharing a particular toy or not getting the dressing up item she wants. She likes ballet but doesn't like going in by herself. Often wants to take imaginary friends or characters from books/films with us or says they are there and describes what they're doing.
IS any/all of this normakl? I may only see it in her and that's why her friends seem perfectly normal even though they sometimes do this stuff too. I worry about school.

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Tiredoutmum · 08/02/2010 15:34

There's a series of books just called 'Your one year old' Your 'two year old' etc by Louise Ames. Try the 4 year old one and see if it helps you to benchmark what is 'normal'. I found it really useful for my 2 year old in terms of seeing what behaviour is entirely part of the age (and was suprised by how much) - it goes into lots of anecdotal detail based on studies of tens of thousands of kids.

rabbitstew · 08/02/2010 19:05

She doesn't sound even remotely odd to me, from your description, but I guess you have to see it to understand what is worrying you. Does she have brothers or sisters? And is your DH totally unconcerned? I think imaginary friends, play-acting, tantrums, not wanting to go to ballet on her own and not wanting to share are very normal and OK in a 4-year old, and in older children.

picklepud · 09/02/2010 15:32

thanks rabbit, what i wanted to hear really. yes, ds 15 months old and I am sure overacting is partly attention seeking. But i tend towards overanalysing! dh totally unconcerned - and sees all of the above in flip side as positives. I think he's more concerned about me being ever so slightly mad to worry. I do worry that some of the quieter children at pre school are a bit put off by her manner, but she always plays with people and has boy and girl friends so perhaps I should let her get on with it! and buy th four year olds book, thanks for suggestion tiredoutmum

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rabbitstew · 09/02/2010 17:40

Don't worry - I think most dh's think their dw's are mad to worry so much about their children. I know mine does! When your ds will only play alongside other children but not with them, and doesn't have any "friends," like a typical 4-year old boy, you'll wonder why you worried about your dd!!!

picklepud · 09/02/2010 22:09

yes, am wise enough (just!) to see boys and know what's coming, rather than assume mine will be different!

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