2yo twins gone into 'big girl beds' and not sleeping. What to do?!

[twinmam]

My almost 2yo DDs have just gone into their big girl beds. This was precipitated by DD2 getting her leg stuck in her cot so I decided it was time we converted their cots into beds as I was worried she would hurt herself.

We made a big fuss about 'big girl beds' and they seemed quite pleased at first. DD2 loves her new bed and likes to snuggle up under her duvet. However, DD1 immediately said she was 'frightened' and took a while to settle the first night; we kept having to go back to reassure her etc until she finally fell asleep. All the while DD2 was snuggled up and happy, grinning away under her covers.

All seemed OK then DD2 who has chicken pox at the mo woke in the middle of the night. Again, back to reassure. DD2 settled immediately and back to sleep but DD1 had woken by then and wouldn't settle at all and ended up in bed with us.

The next night we had the same pattern - they settled after a while but then DD2 woke up about 3am, immediately settling back down after a cuddle and a few words but DD1 then woke up and would not settle. I tried staying in their room until they fell asleep but each time I tried to move DD1 woke up and started crying again. I ended up sleeping in DD1's bed with her which was THE most uncomfortable night's sleep I've ever had.

Last night we had the same pattern again but this time DH slept on their floor. DD1 kept on reaching out and patting him to make sure he was still there

So, am wondering if anyone else has had this. I'm hoping it is just her chicken pox that's waking DD2 and it obviously wasn't the ideal time to change beds when she was ill but actually she is the one who has taken to her new bed and likes to talk about it.

She has just had her first successful nap in the big girl bed (DD1 is at nursery)so it seems to be working really well for her, except for the night waking but minimal reassurance seems to be helping her with that and she settles again. I've also ordered a night light which should arrive soon and hopefully will help with nighttime reassurance; I think she might have nightmares and is a bit scared when she wakes up and it's dark.

The problem seems to be DD1 who is quite resistant to change and obviously isn't keen on this new set up. She is, however, settling to sleep at bedtime once we give her lots of reassurance and keep going back and putting her in her bed (tho we did catch her standing over DD2 and poking her in the face last night! DD2 retaliated by biting DD1's finger. Sigh).

The problem is that once she gets woken by DD2 she can't settle back down unless DH or I is there.

I don't mind sleeping in their room with them for a short while if that's what it takes to reassure her but am concerned about the longer term as we're both shattered already and also very achey after a night in a toddler bed/ on the floor!

Do you think I should put DD1 back into her cot? Have also thought about separating them for a short while but we just don't have the space at the mo and would have to use the travel cot in our room (a very tight squeeze if it's even possible) which seems far from ideal.

Any ideas? Am so hoping this is just a short phase as I find it so hard to cope without sleep (who doesn't) and feeling v despondent as they are usually such good sleepers!

TIA

we put dd1 into a big bed at christmas when she was 2.3. This was because she went on and on about having a big bed for xmas as her cousins and friends have them.

We never took down the cot and after some truly terrible sleeps she is now back in the cot. Sleeping 7-7 again. Each night we give her the choice of which to sleep in , although she starts off saying big bed she always changes to cot at the last minute.

I'd put her back in the cot if it's just a question of putting the sides back up. Having said that when dd2 had the chicken pox she didn't sleep for 2 weeks!

Thanks girlsyearsapart.

I think you're right that the chicken pox is confusing issues as that probably explains DD2's night waking. Hopefully once the pox goes so will the night waking (hopeful emoticon).

The main issue seems to be with DD1 not being as happy with her bed although if DD2 wasn't waking then she wouldn't wake so re-settling her wouldn't be an issue.

I think this is one of those twin things in that they share a room (and there isn't space to leave a cot up as well as a bed) so we will always have the problem of one waking the other.

It's also probably the case that if it had just been DD1 I would have waited longer to put her into a bed; we moved to beds because of DD2 getting her leg stuck in her cot. And of course DD2 is very happy with the bed situation. Maybe I should have left DD1 in her cot for now.

Anyone else got any advice? How do you settle your nightwaking toddler? Has anyone else returned a DC to a cot as they weren't settling in a bed?

That said, DD1 IS settling, it's just getting her back to sleep in the night that's a problem whereas in her cot she would just have gone straight back to sleep if woken by her twin....

All advice very gratefully received!

DD2 woke crying a little while ago and when I went into her DD1 was fast asleep... on the floor!

Put her back into bed and she settled but felt to see her lying there on the floor. She does seem to get too warm and refuses to sleep with blankets on her and had removed her fluffy sleepsuit so maybe she was too warm in bed but still.

Is making me think about returning her to her cot although the positive side is she wasn't distressed like she has been the past few nights and settled back to sleep happily.

DD2 settled very quickly too so maybe we are getting somewhere (hopeful) but obviously we'll have to see what the early hours bring!

My dgs aged 2.3 went into his cot bed because the family were moving abroad and he wouldn't have his cot for the first three months.
His parents wanted him to make the change in advance, at home, because he would be coping with so many other things.
He liked the bed, but it was very, very difficult to settle him and he kept waking up and appearing in the kitchen, grinning. I think in other circs they would have put him back in the cot where he felt very safe and slept well.
He had also stopped using sleeping bags at the same time.
I bought him two duvet sets from Grobag where the duvet is zipped to the sheet. They are a bit pricey, but think they helped him to feel more secure.
I personally would go for a return to the cot, but, if not, I guess your little DD will eventually adjust.
Just a matter of being kind and patient!

If she wakes in the night I keep her in her room. If she is in her big bed she goes into the cot if not behaving in the big bed. We are quite strict at night- if no illness obviously- and tell her she will wake her sister if she carries on crying/shouting..