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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS's (age 3yrs and 21mths) both sleeping so badly...............at the end of my tether

7 replies

Kaybeeand2boys · 08/02/2010 12:41

Help!
I just don't know what to do anymore. Tonight ds1 age 3 was put in bed at just before 7pm and screamed and cried and got out of bed over and over again to open the door and then run back to his bed (and no he isnt afraid of the dark). He took almost an hour to go to sleep. Because of this ds2 didn't go to bed until late as they share a room. Ds2 decided to scream in his cot until I got him out as I didn't want him to wake ds1. He then spent the next 2.5hrs refusing to go to bed/sleep until finally conking out on me. So far ds1 has partly woken twice already crying and moaning for me but not really properly awake and not really wanting anything. They will both be awake between 6 and 6.30am, resulting in a day of whinging, crying and moaning because they are both tired.
I just don't know what to do with them as it is so hard with them sharing a room and we do not have any other option on where to put them. I always try the return to bed and pay no attention thing to ds1 but it is a big game for him and he just keeps going and going for what seems like forever. Then he will stop for a bit and a month or so later will be back at it again.
ALl this makes dh and I very tired and grumpy and we end up arguing about it too as he just shouts at the dc.
By the way I am not in the UK in case anyone thinks I am putting the kids to bed in the day! It is 1.39am here and I am up because of being woken by ds1 and just couldnt get back to sleep...........

OP posts:

indie37 · 08/02/2010 12:48

I feel your pain, I have a 5yr dd and a 23 months dd in the one room and the 23m is being a total nightmare. She has a bit of a cold and was teething last week and her schedule has gone to pot. She's lying up there now, exhausted but refusing to go to sleep for a nap. I am so tired and work full time although working at home today, hence mumsnet. I have no advice, you're not alone and it's exhausting.

ThePhantomFlanFlinger · 08/02/2010 12:58

Sorry no advice. Mine are around the same ages as yours, I'm expecting DC3 so moved them into the big bedroom to share. It was a bloody nightmare, I gave up in the end and put DD back in her old bedroom and left DS in the big room.

I'll be trying to put them back together at the beginning of April, so will watch this thread.

Good luck.

coll2010 · 08/02/2010 13:48

Have you thought about putting the younger one to bed first? I know my 3 year old would hate to be in bed before the younger one. While you're settling the younger one you could try having your 3 year old helping you or choosing his bedtime book and sitting quietely and then once the little ones asleep you and he would get a bit of time together for a story and cuddle. You could say this only works if he stays nice and quiet while his little brother gets off to sleep. I know it's easier said then done and bedtimes with little ones can be very stressful. Hope you get some good sleep soon x

indie37 · 08/02/2010 14:40

I tried that but the little one won't go to bed without the big one and starts screaming and the big one actually says she doesn't mind going to bed together. If she felt really strongly about it, I would rethink, but she's not bothered and the little seems to be.

CoteDAzur · 08/02/2010 14:47

Maybe 3 yr old doesn't need to sleep at the same time as 21 month old? DD was going to bed at 9 PM when she was 3 yr old.

Original poster

Kaybeeand2boys · 08/02/2010 19:24

Thanks for your replies, nice to know I am not alone!

Just to clarify we were trying to get the little one to sleep at the same time as 3yo but in our room, which obv didn't work!

DS1 seems to need about 10-11hrs sleep every little thing etc. He has never made a comment about going to bed at the same time as his little brother, doesn't seem to mind.... He only just turned 3 at the end of last year so isn't a very mature 3 as yet.

We tried putting little one down first for a while but he just mucked around for up to an hour and by then big one was over tired.

No matter what we do they are up at 6 or 6.30am .........

OP posts:

verybusyspider · 08/02/2010 23:00

my 3 and 2 yr old share a room and go to bed at same time, we moved them in together when ds2 was 16 months and ds1 not quite 3, main problem we had was ds1 felt peeved about ds2 moving into HIS room - is the move recent? is he reacting to new situation? we ended up getting ds1 the cheapest naffest bed from ebay (yellow noddy car shape for £10) and making huge fuss about his bed, extra stories - ds1 went from his own story to sharing one (ds3 arrived when he was 3)
I spent time (heavily pregnant) laying and sleeping on floor to keep him quiet, took 20 mins to settle him if I was there and hours if we left him to cry, so not ideal but preferable, as he's got a bit older the situation seems to have got better, they now go to bed at 7pm no fuss, ds2 just in big boy bed so he's a nightmare wandering around but thats another issue!
Super nanny rapid return thing worked ok for us but only if we came right back down stairs and left him to wander for a bit, we found if you caught him as soon as he got out of bed it was a huge game, if he hung around by the stair gate for 5-10mins before we bothered to see him then he got bored quicker.
Does he nap during the day still? ds1 did till he was over 3yrs, on days he didn't nap he'd crash out, was a crappy day when that happened but it helped break the cycle of stressful bedtime.
Having a ramble, but you are certainly not alone x

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