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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is your child's bedroom his/her castle?

21 replies

OrmRenewed · 08/02/2010 12:36

Can they do what they want with it? In terms of making a mess of it, or moving the furniture about?

DD has turned her bedroom upside down recently - it's a small room and she's made it impossible to get in our our of by moving the furniture all over the place to make a sort of den under her cabin bed. I cannot easily get in to clean it thoroughly. Which doesn't bother her at all. Should it bother me?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colnelcustard · 08/02/2010 12:39

how old is she? i remember going through a stage where i was constantly changing my room around but think I was about 10.

I would say leave her but as long as she is not one to leave food etc. lying around where you can't see it etc.

either that or you make her clean it. she might change her mind.

Original poster

OrmRenewed · 08/02/2010 12:45

Yes she's 10. No food allowed in there apart from the odd apple.

OP posts:

blametheparents · 08/02/2010 12:56

Tidy room on a Sat morning or no pocket money.

Done deal in this house!

(Perhaps I am a bit vitorian tho!)

Original poster

OrmRenewed · 08/02/2010 12:58

Hmmmm.... but if it's her room and she doesn't care?

OP posts:

seeker · 08/02/2010 12:58

It's her room. Shut the door and let her get on with it.

blametheparents · 08/02/2010 13:01

When my room got really bad when I was a similar age she used to come in with a big blaxk sack, put eveything in it and then there was not so much to be messy!

Even at the time I realised this was a fair 'punishment', even tho i did not like it.

Nowt wrong in teaching children to keep their room tidy, imo

LK2boyzma · 08/02/2010 16:34

I have a DS who is 10 and has no time to tidy his room unless I make threats, e.g have him sleep in the lounge alone (he is scared of being down there on his own and def does not sleep in the dark) He jumps on the bed like they do in wrestling, leaves tissue papers on the floor,shoes all over the place and clothes! After his tennis / swimming clubs, he leaves the kits in the bags until he needs them the next week (thats if I do not intervene, his shampoo and shower gels only last a week) He still cant wash himself properly, wont change his underwear if he cannot find any in his draw, he does not make the effort to look in the clean laundry basket for example or ask! Honestly how can one change this kind of behaviour, Its exhausting!

I have no idea what to do with him either. He does not seem to be bothered by having anything taken away from him, he always finds something else to play with

Original poster

OrmRenewed · 08/02/2010 17:08

Ah LK, I suspect it will only change for good when they get their own homes. I clearly remember normally messy people in my flat at university having the occassional clear-out because there was no-one else to do it! There is hope.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 08/02/2010 17:13

DD is 7y. She is expected to keep her room tidy and reasonably clean - I am the one who goes in ad dusts, cleans and vacuums though. DD is very tidy and likes things to have home though, so the tidiness isn;t an issue currently.

There is no way DD could move her furniture at all - I would struggle as bunk beds and heavy bookcases/desk, with almost no room for moving about.

TBH I would be cross if she did try, esp if we couldn't get in the room Obviously moving a small table or chairs temporarily would be different, or making a temporary den would be fine.

Original poster

OrmRenewed · 08/02/2010 17:15

Just her desk and a little table really. And all her soft toys and books are in little piles so it makes it hard to shift things back.

OP posts:

PixieOnaLeaf · 08/02/2010 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

seeker · 08/02/2010 23:13

Children need (among other things) privacy and control. Their bedroom can provide both of these things. Shut the door and step away.

cat64 · 08/02/2010 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/02/2010 07:13

My 8.9 dd's bedroom is a disaster zone. I have got to the point where I refuse to tidy it and won't hoover it unless she has taken everything off the floor. She has far too many toys, books and general shit rubbish. If her bed needs changing, she does the bottom sheet and I do the duvet cover. She is not happy but I've got better things to do with my time. Generally the only time she expresses any interest in her room is if she is having a friend either to play or sleep over.

ShinyAndNew · 09/02/2010 07:17

What Seeker said.

Dd1 chose all the colours etc in her room when we moved. Luckily it didn't end up being violet with illuminous yellow stripes . She chose pink and purple.

If she wishes to live in squalor that is her business, but she is encouraged to keep tidy and is rewarded for doing so.

It's mainly a mess unless she is expecting friends over, then she panick cleans. One she will learn that it will be easier if she puts things away as she goes .

Cyb · 09/02/2010 07:28

I wish my 2 ds's used their rooms more! (whereas I can't get 14 yr old dd out of hers...)

The front room seems to be my sons castle, where they feel free to rearrange the sofa cushions to make dens on a regular basis, usually after the cleaners been.

[grr]

cory · 09/02/2010 07:42

Errr... I wish I could say so, but at the moment ds's bedroom is my castle. Have had a nasty chest infection since early Jan, and have turfed ds out of his room, so I can cough in private. He will get it back one day, and it will be tidied.

Usually, I'd say it's their castle though. I do cleaning because they have disabilities which makes this difficult, so I ask them to tidy before I clean or do it for them if they are having a flare up, but otherwise it's their private space and if they want to have it untidy, that's their business. I' quite untidy myself.

overmydeadbody · 09/02/2010 07:56

Yes it is. His room, his responsibility.

Original poster

OrmRenewed · 09/02/2010 11:52

Good. I more or less follow the Seeker school of bedroom demarkation Wanted to know if I was being outrageously slack.

OP posts:

LK2boyzma · 09/02/2010 16:05

Seeker: I wish I could 'shut the door and step away' but my G*d, the smell of sweat, and dirt drives me mad,

If he could read this, he would be smirking all day!
Orm: I agree, age will probably bring better results, when they get fed up of it!

BigTillyMint · 09/02/2010 16:52

For my DC, their bedrooms are their castles(with signs on the doors to that effect!)

DC's have to tidy and hoover and sometimes dust their rooms once a week for their pocket money. Like overmydeadbody it is their room and their responsibility! They both chose the colour scheme, etc when we last did their rooms.

DS is very tidy, but I have just spent an hour with DD going through all her stuff and getting her to chuck old bits of paper and things out. She takes after her grandma

Both of them enjoy playing in their rooms, take their friends up there and invite each other in to play.

I used to always be moving my furniture around at that age, but I don't remember cleaning

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