I am concerned about my son who is now 3 and a half. He is now at nursery 4 days a week. They have informed me that he has behavioural issues, for example, pushing other children, snatching, throwing sand, sometimes food etc.
I know that this behaviour is pretty normal in most children at some point, but the issue is the frequency of this behaviour.
He was at another nursery last year and they raised the same issue so I know that is not them overatching.
It seems to come out in big group sessions rather than smaller groups. I dont think he means to uoset other kids I think the issue is that he just doesnt think and behaves impulsively.
The nursery tell me I am doing things the way that they would recommend. He has a routine, we eat at the table, he doesnt have too much telly and I am consistent at home in terms rules etc. I try to parent positively so i praise him lots of stuff he does well and give stickers etc and try not to give too much negative attention to things that arent great (throwing toys etc). That said, I do punish bad behaviour - take away toys for a while, withhold treats or remove him from situations etc.I have the privilege of being able to be very consistent as its just me and him at home and his little brother.
I am not sure what causes this behaviour at nursery though and am at my wits end of picking him up and being told that parents have complained about him pushing this child or scaring another one etc.
I try to explain to him why we dont do this. Its seems that he hasnt really developed much empathy though to understand why it is not right to hit etc, Its almost like he sees this as a joke and likes it when people run away from him acting scared.
I am wondering whether his might have ADHD. this sounds like a leap, but hsi behaviour is often described as impulsive and he is incredibly active and often a but hyper at nursery it seems. I guess at home he is more attentive as I know him. I know what eill engage him in terms of books, role playing etc, but in the nursery they need to cater for a broad section of kids so clearly they cant have just trains all day! Also his dad it seems had undiagnosed adhd when he was younger (still has).
My xp and i separated a year ago and it has been quite stressful for me as his dad was abusive towards me (some shouting or ignoring me alternatly; and threats etc which resulted in police call outs). Clearly I have tried to shield my children from this, but he has seen things he shouldnt have done. I will now only let his dad have contact outside the family home to minimise potential conflict. When he is with the kids, they have fun and he is in a safe pair of hands, the issue is his ehaviour towards me.
I am not sure how to find out why my son is behaving this way. More so at nursery than home (large group situation?). I feel if I know the answer it would help.
Anyone have any advice to offer? Anyone out there with ADHD child - does this sound familiar? (I know its too early to confirm if this is the case).
Grateful for any thoughts.....thanks
I