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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD almost 7yo starves herself for the last 4 weeks

61 replies

joburg · 06/02/2010 10:56

It?s been just weird for the last month. DD suddenly started to bring ALL her food back home from the school. Just like that. She was eating like a wolf, anything and everything and the teacher even asked us to pack more food for her lunch box, because she was eating other kids? food after finishing hers. Then one day, about a month ago she just decided to go on ?diet?.

I suspected it might be some kind of rebellion thing, so we never made a big fuss about it. Just trying to talk to her, explain she only hurts herself by not eating, etc, etc (DD is very skinny anyway, but when I say skinny, I mean, really thin! Almost looking unhealthy despite the fact she was eating so well). The ?talking? thing didn?t work so we set consequences, and took away the cartoons in the evening for every time she brings the food back home (by then DD went on a whole day without having breakfast being too late for the school bus, not eating a thing in school and ending by having one meal a day in the evening).

But this didn?t work either!!! And if there is one thing DD loves in this world, that is CARTOONS!!! And she still doesn?t eat. One evening she told DH that she doesn?t eat because we tell her too, which would confirm my guess of the rebellion thing, but NOT EVEN when she can?t have cartoons???? What on earth can this be?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MayorNaze · 07/02/2010 15:34

dd1 is 7 and goes through phases of eating next to nothing. i think she just isn't a foodie but it does seem that the more fuss we made, the less she ate. if she is being "funny" about eating then i give her teeny amounts as often as i can. having a ridiculously small tea actually made her laugh which helped encourage her to eat more.

i try not to make a big thing about it as i don't ever want it to become a big thing to her. agree it is a control thing, she tends to do it if she feels she isn't getting enough attention

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/02/2010 15:35

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senua · 07/02/2010 15:40

Hmm, OK. She is pulling the strings, isn't she. You need to re-assert control.

Why does she bring back the food? Why not bin it at school and pretend that she has eaten it?

CarGirl · 07/02/2010 15:43

At our school they're not allowed to bin it, it has to come back - even the empty yoghurt pots that flick the rememnants around the box, lovely.

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/02/2010 15:44

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Veritythebrave · 07/02/2010 15:47

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Original poster

joburg · 07/02/2010 15:47

As mentioned before that was the first thing i thought about, never make a big fuss about it. I learned a lot from you moms here me and DD always talk abt the next day's lunch box, asking her what would she like to have, giving her a bite to taste if food is already cooking, asking her to help with chopping the fruits if she has the time ... and together throw the food to the bin the next day

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Original poster

joburg · 07/02/2010 15:52

no food throwing allowed in our school! and god knows what strategies i need to invent to check it at home without DD feeling spied, 'couse she tried to hide it/ bin it several times

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senua · 07/02/2010 16:01

So she only not-eats at school. Do you ever have schoolfriends round for tea - does your DD eat in front of them?

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/02/2010 16:02

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Original poster

joburg · 07/02/2010 16:35

PixieOnaLeaf, I tried to explained since i started this thread that I never made a big fuss about DD not eating just because i thought this might give her a reason not to eat. She'll get hungry/bored eventually? Well, it's been a month of no eating, DD lost weight and she still doesn't seem to get bored of it. Otherwise i wouldn't have been such a pain in the ass over here.

OP posts:

thesouthsbelle · 07/02/2010 16:43

are you sure she's not getting dinner from somewhere else? ie another girl or the lunch hall?

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/02/2010 16:45

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senua · 07/02/2010 16:45

I wondered that southsbelle. Seems strange that the OP said "the teacher even asked us to pack more food for her lunch box, because she was eating other kids? food after finishing hers" but the same teachers haven't noticed that the DD hasn't eaten for 4 weeks.

MyNewPans · 07/02/2010 16:52

How about just putting in 1 item in her lunch box like a yogurt?

It does sound like there are other forces at play making it impossible for her to eat.

It could be a child with 'issues' has made a comment that has made your dd self conscious about eating?

MayorNaze · 07/02/2010 17:31

dd has a very small packed lunch. she only ever has half a round of sandwiches, a carton of pure juice and 1 other thing ie box of raisins or yogurt. never anything else as even if she is not in a funny phase she won't eat more than that at school

Miggsie · 07/02/2010 20:17

You could try reverse phsycology (I cannot spell) and send her to school with an empty lunch box?

She must eat at some point during the week, she cannot run on empty for 5 days.

Mind you, my friend's boy is only ever hungry about 5pm.
At other times they have to shove food into him and it is only ever a little mouthful and he's not really interested, he just seems to have a metabolism that only needs food at 5pm. He then eats a huge, adult sized portion of food.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 07/02/2010 20:21

All I can think about is that poor little girl who died after having a lot of her teeth out. I can't quite remember why she didn't eat.

I would ask the school to get involved. She can't go all day without food.

Kids grow up too quick - bloody diet indeed.

Not a go at you, btw OP. I really feel for you.

BlackYellowRed · 08/02/2010 07:44

I agree with throwing the food from the lunchbox without a fuss. Also maybe you could keep a food diary, just for you, to have a clear view of what she DID eat over a day or a week. If anything, it is something you could show the doctor so they can have a clear view of situation.
Like I said before, keep putting some food in front of her. She will get her appetite back.

nickschick · 08/02/2010 07:49

Maybe a variety of lunch would help new things that you wouldnt normally buy? things to tempt her tastebuds into eating - pitta pockets with nutella anything she fancies ...tiny cubes of fruit in little pots...pineapple,rolled up pieces of cooked meats,cubes of mild cheese- 'subway' type sandwiches? maybe she could prepare her own so she gets time with you preparing and then the enjoyment of eating it too.

SurferRosa · 08/02/2010 08:21

Do you know if any comments were made by the other children when she was finishing their dinners? Eg. "You'll get fat eating all that..." My DD is nearly 7 and a throwaway remark by another child can play on her mind for ages before we can get it out of her.

Original poster

joburg · 08/02/2010 10:54

Thank you all for your answers. I'm still waiting for the teacher to call back, i left a message yesterday but nothing happened yet .... As for DD, i couldn't squeeze anything from her other than that 'i don't eat because you tell me to' and the previous 'i don't know how to eat' ... so i just have to wait and see what the teacher has to say.

PixieOnaLeaf, please don't get upset with me. You didn't offend me, no, no, i must have sounded like that but, that's just me a bit tough and rough .... no wander DD says: YES, SIR! when i ask her to do something On the contrary, thank you for all your posts.

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morningpaper · 08/02/2010 10:56

Will she drink? I.e. take a smoothie for lunch? Have a large full-fat hot chocolate when she gets home?

Original poster

joburg · 08/02/2010 11:29

DD is hyperactive, possible ADHD, so no sweets for her unless on special occasions .... she drinks, but not as much as she should that's another problem we are fighting with

and yeap, she just came back from school, since 7 this morning she had a bite of apple and a half mandarin .... speaking of slimming diets

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PixieOnaLeaf · 08/02/2010 15:27

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