Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Scared at swimming lessons

12 replies

JimmyMcNulty · 05/02/2010 19:40

Ds1 is 3.6 and has been swimming and had swimming lessons before, but has had a bit of an enforced break due to us moving house and the arrival of his baby brother. He did lessons last term where dh went into the water with him, and was fine. However this term he is expected to go in on his own (this was a bit of a surprise to dh who turned up poolside in his trunks ). So the first week dh was allowed to spend some time in the water with him. The second week ds went in on his own and basically cried most of the time, clung to the instructor, but was oddly positive about it when we chatted afterwards. Last week he couldn't go as was unwell. He is due to go again tomorrow and burst into tears as soon as I mentioned that he was going swimming tomorrow.

He says he is "scared of the children" (there are only 2 other apparently very nice ones), "scared of falling out of the swimming pool" (not sure what that means) and scared of not seeing me and his dad (there is a viewing gallery but it's quite far away and I don't think he could spot us).

I don't know how best to approach this. Does anyone have any tips for helping him?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ConnorTraceptive · 05/02/2010 19:43

3.6 is very young to go in alone IMO.

Original poster

JimmyMcNulty · 05/02/2010 19:53

Yeah that's what I feel. Thought I was being wussy though. No one near us seems to do lessons where parents can go in as well.

I was thinking that maybe we should write off this term and dh could take him just for a float about again, but the main pools are all so busy on Saturdays (only time they could go) and he hasn't liked it during busy times in the past - too many kids bombing in and having splashy fun.

OP posts:

ConnorTraceptive · 05/02/2010 21:04

My ds started swimming lesson when he was 4.5 and had to go in alone, we had some tears and he had to repeat beginners level twice we've taken a break from it for now and are going to try an intensive course in the easter hols

LynetteScavo · 05/02/2010 21:16

He's very little to go in alone.

Mine went in alone jsut after they turned 4.

DS1 was fine with it (if he's cried at all I would ahve taken him out)

DS2 cried for two lessons, DD cried for 3 lessons...very loudly, but I knew it was something she had to go through, and she started loving her lessons soon afterwards.

Stay positive, and offer a reward afterwards ( I resorted to sweets )

ConnorTraceptive · 05/02/2010 21:18

Oh yes definately bribe! DS told his aunt the other day that you get m&m's when you go swimming. She asked "oh is that what you get when you've tried really hard" and ds said "no you just get them for going"

thelunar66 · 05/02/2010 21:23

3.6 is very young.

DS started at 4.6 in a big class of about 12. It took him a year to just get his feet off the bottom. It was worth it in the end though as now he is a teenager and madly into scuba diving!

Can you suspend lessons till he is a bit older... maybe leave it a year?

maxpower · 05/02/2010 21:23

When I was younger (say around 5 onwards) I had regular swimming lessons, during which I was absolutely terrified. It wasn't the instructor or being in the pool without my mum or anything, it was the sheer terror of the water. Eventually, after persevering with lessons until I was 11, the fear won. I still can't swim and have a real phobia of large areas of water.

Just be gentle with your DCs over this, they might feel as I did and it was torturous.

bruffin · 05/02/2010 21:37

It's normal from 3 at our pool/ area. You do get the odd one who won't go in but most are no problem at all.

happyharry · 05/02/2010 21:38

My dd started swimming lessons when she was 5. I took her as a baby and it was a disaster. During her 1st term she was in a class of much younger children. At least 2 of them screamed and screamed for a first week or two. Than they were fine.

choufleur · 05/02/2010 21:40

it's quite young to go alone and if he doesn't have lessons now is it such a big deal. would you be better just taking him swimming so that it is fun and his confidence builds up and then try lessons again in a year or so.

Original poster

JimmyMcNulty · 05/02/2010 22:32

Thanks for all the advice. I think we will go tomorrow but no pressure and see what happens. He's been promised hot chocolate in the cafe afterwards but it didn't seem to help much.

It's not a big deal if he doesn't have lessons right now, it's just that the only times dh or I can take him for fun are during really busy times at the pool, which he's found a bit intimidating in the past.

OP posts:

rookiemater · 05/02/2010 22:43

I would cut your losses unless you or DH are able to stay in the pool or within close range of him.

My friend was very helpful as she recommended to wait until DS nearly 4 which is what we did. He has been going for lessons for 3 weeks and is absolutely fine but some of the DCs are younger and are very upset about being separated from their parents. The age difference is not great, probably only 6 months or so, but sees to make all the difference.

The class teacher is absolutely lovely and very reassuring to all the DCs but to be honest, some of them don't seem to have made much progress and I think in that case it is better to give it up and wait for a term until the DC is more ready rather than persevering and potentially putting them off for longer.

The other thing I do is that I am able to swim lengths in the lane beside him, so I can wave over and give him the thumbs up at any time. I think DS wouldn't be happy if he couldn't see me at all.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Flip