Why do Babies,Toddlers,Children behave so differently and so naughty to years ago....

[Louise1970]

My mum asked me this this yesterday. What are all your thoughts....

Hercules, if it was as simple as 'dad not around = badly behaved child' then there would have been an epidemic of badly behaved children post WW1 and post WW2. Do you think there was, and we've forgotten?

personally i think its because we are too "right on" with our children. We're all scared to fart in case we shit ourselves and the kids know it.!

Walking to school also means you know your local community better. I see the same people on my walk in, and say "hello" to them every morning. We run into other people from DS1's school, and walk with them.

Of course, not walking to school isn't the root of the problem, or even a main cause, but living in cars does encourage rudeness, in my opinion.

tend to agree jampots...

Have just spouted forth on another thread about how everyone is so scared to 'parent' their own way these days - because 'it is not the way that you are supposed to do it'

My mum thinks we just over analyse everything these days...perhaps not always such a bad thing, but then again................................?

Louise,

your ds sounds very like my ds too. He is not autistic but has a very strange and limited (although not too unhealthy) diet. He gets very emotional to the point of hysteria if he is given food is not part of this limited diet. I think that his problems started during the stage of weaning when he was being given lumpier foods and it has just got worse and worse. He is now almost 8.
I would urge you to keep pressing for help. I was fobbed off by my HV & others who told me that he would 'grow out of it' and just to 'persevere' with trying new foods and that 'a child will not starve himself'. It is only now that he is getting help - we have been referred to the 'Feeding Team' at the Paediatric Dept at the local hospital. Team consists of nutritionist, psychologist, paediatrician and speech therapist. He still isn't 'cured' but it's early days and I live in hope. I do wish however that I'd been able to get help earlier.
Good luck.

With everything else she is perfectly behaved though and is a pleasure to be with.

Boy that sounds REALLY smug, I do apologise!

Sorry for late reply www.

I meant that because we don't walk to school we miss out on the idle chit chat that goes along with it. 'Social glue' which is a foundation of a courteous and caring society.

I'm not saying people ought to walk because of modern pressures etc etc. I just think it's a pity.

I have to declare that I live 3 mins walk from school so it's not an issue for me.

ok spidermama, sure, see your point!

Just wanted to say thank you for all your messages. It went round the roundabout a few times but I am pleased that i am not alone. That maybe he is not so interested in food, which is something i have been thinking. i do percsevere with various foods. i do not cook fresh food anymore though because it goes straight on the floor. I have an appointment with the dietician and the peditrician, he says he will refer me to a behavour specialist. I just hope that this gets sorted. Especially as i have a 5 month dd which i plan to wean very soon and i do not want her copying him. But she is already a better breest feeder than he ever was. She is also so much calmer than he is. She also sleeps days and nights. Bliss!!!!
But then again she might give me more problems as a teenager than he will..

I think i will carry on avoiding going to my mum for advice about my children as most of you more or less say the same thing. They look at the old world in rose tinted glasses.

Thanks again..

E numbers, food full of ingredients that we have no idea what they even look like let alone have them in our cupboard, food eaten all year around rather than seasonally, antioxidants in oil (and therefore bread) that cause hyperactive behaviour.

My son is on a strict diet because of his allergies and is normally very calm and responsive, and had a crumpet last week - he suddenly became a terrible 2 for a few hours. 4 types of preservatives in the crumpet...

OMG you've really got me thinking bobbybob.

Could this be why my son has complete character changes and does mad things like the clown-baiting described on an earlier thread, after having eaten a load of crap at the school bbq?

I know he has intolerances to certain food.

The only way to know for sure is to eliminate crap (and it's hidden in some "healthy" food). I shop with a list of the dirty dozen (google for a list of these) and avoid all food with these in (One brand of yoghurt has one of them, the other doesn't - suddenly I'm not so keen to save a few pence or check out which has most sugar).

Then the fun bit - you reintroduce a test of something your ds used to eat (or go to a school BBQ) The effect is magnified because of the withdrawal and he will probably not want to eat that stuff again because he will be able to tell how it makes him feel.

Do it yourself and see if you feel better.

I'm pretty lazy and have managed to just make sure ds's diet is free of these things by reading labels -which I had to do anyway to look for his allergies. I do make my own baking, but that's more because of his egg allergy.

Bobbybob. I have also a very strong opinion that my ds diet plays a huge part of his behaviour. My ds only eats bread, so i try and buy it from the bakers as i do not have time myself. (2 Chidren under 2) I also have crohns disease and think that this plays a huge part in my life too. My mother never cooked or gave us fresh food. So i have always eaten the additives etc until i moved out at 26.

Yes bobbybob, he has a really good diet on the whole and we don't have any processed foods at all, only organic meat and veg etc But I have to be relaxed at parties so he can enjoy them. Unfortunately though it means he goes absolutely bananas.

Louise, is Crohn's disease hereditary? My FIL has it so I'm wondering ...

can I jump in and argue the toss back in that I honestly dont think that the younger generation are any worse than ours or our parents or theirs before them. Wasnt it Aristotle (or someone like that)who said that the young have no respect for their elders (or words to that effect) and Im sure our parents said it about us and their parents about them.

I have recently decided to look around and notice at all the well behaved children and there are a lot of them but they are overshadowed by the few really bold ones. Also have to say that I find far more adults being rude abusive and generally unpleasent than I do children and they dont have any excuse at all unless of course they are going to blame their parents .

Sorry, but I have to disagree.

While I agree that the majority of children are great there is a small but not insignificant subset of 5-10% who are very rude and disruptive. And this was not the case when I was in school in the 70s. I agree that such children existed in the 70s they knew better than to step so far out of line in school and with the police, as they knew that there would be severe and immediate consequenses of their behavior.

The school I went to was a rough comp in a very working clas area but I never heared a child swear at a teacher, let alone tell them to fuck off. This happens weekly in the school I work at (and we are not a sink school). And none of thepparents of the children would storm into school f ing and blinding that their kids were being 'picked on'. Parents expected kids to take their punishments, on the whole.

Some of the classes I work with are very disruptive. Just out of interest do you spend much time with a wide range of teenagers?

I have just had the introductory meeting with my soon to be year 7 class. We were all on the main hall and some of the children were running up and down the aisles as the head was talking! Many parents were chatting to their children as members of staff were giving them information, How rude? And is it any wonder that the children can't behave if the parents can't!

interesting thread.
my dd (4), when she got told off a while ago, scratched my arm really badly, hit me on the legs and shouted at me. i started thinking what would have happened if i had done that when i was a little girl. no way would i have dared to react physically or verbally to my parents. but then i was never punished. i cannot remember a single time where i was sent to my room, had something taken off me or had privileges taken away. there just wasn't any need for it. i was well behaved.

spidermama. It can be, but no one in my family has it. but my son does seem to have a lot of sensitivities to food as i do.One doctor did say it can only be passed through generations via a man. But i do not believe that.

I think why older children talk out of line is because when one child does it, they all follow etc. And because there is no real dicipline from parents and teachers anymore and police. The child knows they will get away with it. Also films and telly play a big part. Has any one seen that dick and dom on saturday mornings. I thought tiswas was bad, in my day. Its just people moving the boundary lines to see how far they get. This is the end of the road! I also think that there is a lot of competitiveness in the world. We moved to a completly new area when we had kids, so that i could be at home to look after them Creches/nannies and nurseries will tell you what you want to here what they do with kids but what goes on in them is another matter. They also hold babies far to long so they become clingy etc. My partner and i chose not to have the latest clothes, cars, food, dvd, tv, xmas presents, holidays, direct debits, sky tv,etc . so that we could have a chance ourselves to bring up our children. It is only 5 years you have give up, but i suppose that is another argument.

oohhh shall i start another thread with Do we really need to work or could it be possible to give up work for 5 years. Most of the people i know, want children but do not want to look after them full time.. OUCH!

happymb.. my sister is a teacher,(primary) and she has noticed more and more kids behaving with little or no respect in the classroom... and this is yr 5 and 6 we're talking about.

She also reckons, some of the girls are more 'hard faced' than the boys.. what do think?

I think it is fairly 'even' between the sexes. But that is because the girls are closing the gap on the 'naughty stakes'

I teach children who are essentialy feral. They have no idea* of how to act in a classroom. many of them cannot interact with each other at an age appropriate level....I have 13 years olds who act like 7-8 year olds, ie one minute they are best of friends, ten next they have 'fallen out' and cannot be allowed to sit together.

I teach two classes where all the children have to sit alone, since that cannot sit by someone without chatting non stop or arguing/fighting. I have to run star charts with some of them, and these are teenagers!

They are simultaneously over sexualised and under developed emotionaly, a nightmare situation.

at its mosr basic I teach children in secondary who cannot listen, take turns, share or interact in a normal way! And these are not sn children, jusr very badlt brought up! Soem at 14 cannot eat with a knie and fork!

Louse1970 - how do you both manage to survive money wise?

that's really scary hmb...
what hope is there for society if we're churning out kids like this?