Scared of my niece!

[Mookymoo]

Hi, this is my first post, hope you can give me some of your excellent advice! I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first, and have become very scared of a niece I have on DH side! She is nearly 4 and very active, but sometimes seems to just 'turn' and become spiteful.

I love to hug her as she asks but she quickly wants me to pick her up or to jump on me and I'm scared for my bump! She gets a look in her eyes which scares me witless. What can I do? I love her and her mum to bits but I think her Mum gets bored of telling her 'No'. I've tried to be firm but with no effect.
Any ideas? I feel like an irrational fool!

I would explain to her calmly that you can't do certain things with her as it might harm the baby growing in your tummy. Speak to her before she's being told off for looning around as by then it's too late and she's got over excited. Speak to her as though it's something really important that you need to speak to her about, as though you are treating her as being grown up enough to understand. 4 is old enough to understand that you can't jump all over people. My dd1 is 4 and the only person she jumps all over is her nana, because she doesn't stop her, and when I've tried I get told "Oh she's OK I don't mind" - so I lose the battle. She doesn't do it with anyone else...

Ah thanks. I've tried to get on her eye level and talk about it, but I think it's hard for her to grasp as it doesn't look like a baby.

Trouble is, I think she gets herself so excited about coming over or us meeting up that she's mostly in quite a lather by the time I see her any way.

Just be firm, if she does something you don't like, get down to eye level, make sure she is looking you in the eye, and say NO ina a very stern voice. You don't need to have a long talk about it or explain yourself, apart from "that hurts" or "I don't like that".

Then walk away. Let her know she gets no attention if she does something you ask her not to.

I think you also need to speak to her mum as well... to back you up and to reinforce the expected behaviour hth

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it. It's a little bit of a sensitive one as the Mum has recently fallen out with another family member regarding discipline of her daughter. I really think she's not firm enough with her but it's so tricky as it's not my side of the family so I'm not close enough to take her to one side. Aaargh! Maybe also making sure it's not just me and them together so I've got back up to defend me too!