13mo DS hitting me - getting so upset

[berri]

I need some help with my DS - 13 months. He's a gorgeous happy little boy most of the time but recently he's started hitting and slapping me. He definitely knows he's doing it, rather than it being a 'feeling' process if you know what I mean...I can tell by his face!

It's got to the stage where I've hardly picked him up in the last couple of days because every time I do, he hits and scratches my face/chest as hard as he can. I'm covered in marks

He's doing the same with the family cat, so I'm separating them as much as I can to try to avoid any nasty scratching incidents. I don't know how the poor cat puts up with it!

I've tried lots of methods including putting him in a corner with no toys, and obviously I've said no very firmly etc - all to no avail.

It's much worse when he's tired, but he's also doing it with other babies and people so I'm worried he's really going to hurt one of them.

Does anyone have any advice?

When he does it, just say "No" and put him down

Don't do the time-out thing, he really won't get it at 13m

When he goes to hit you say NO in a firm calm voice,and hold his arms down,not aggresively but firmly and dont smile or chat to him whilst you do this ...only for 30 secs or so then praise him up when he shows any sign of gentleness- remind him 'nicely'whenever he sees puss puss cat.

I've tried all these, he just kind of smiles a bit and then when I do eventually pick him up again he just carries on. I've been doing this for about 2 weeks now and it's not making any difference at all - if anything he's getting worse.

Thanks for saying not to do the time-out thing - was wondering about whether he wouldn't get that so I won't do it anymore.

Maybe I just need to stick with it but he does it so bloody hard it's just horrible and quite upsetting!

I am afraid hitting at that age is normal and just an expression of him beginning to realise he can. It is a way of refusing himself and a sign that he is discovering he is a person in his own right. 'Terrible Twos', ha, it starts earlier than 2 and goes on waaaay longer...

I hate to tell you, but my DS3 is now 22 months and still terrible for hitting me, his brothers, other children, other adults , particularly when he is in a huff about anything at all.

I agree with saying "no" firmly and removing yourself from him if you can. Naughty step/time out/any other kind of punishment is pointless at that age and IMO unnecessarily distressing - to him and you!

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass...

Thank you - will repeat! And carry on with the No, hopefully it might work eventually...

Do you have a word that he understands like "gentle" or "nicely". I'd try to introduce it and say it when he is being nice and praise him. I think it is so easy to only notice when they do something wrong but to teach him what you want from him you have to pick up on when he is being nice i.e. if you pick him up and he doesn't hit you!

I just posted a really similar message actually. I really feel for you as I am going through the same thing at the moment with my 16 month old It is so hard isn't as you really don't want to feel apprehensive about going to pick them up - but you do incase you get a slap! I talked to the health visitor about it yesterday and she said a firm 'No!' and then sitting him in a quite spot was what she would advise and that it would take a while before he understood that this is what would happen each time he hits. Also I guess at this age it will take time for them to link the hitting with the punishment - but am hoping my son works it out soon.
I get so upset too as you wonder where the little baby went and just want this phase to pass. Suppose we just have to tell ourselves that it will and soon enough will be a distant memory.. (hopefully!)