There IS something not quite right with Ds 6yrs, but what??

[EasyEggs]

There has always been something "different" about Ds 2, I know that all kids are different but there is more to it than that. I don't know what exactly or where to start so shall just write a few of the things that I'm concerned about and would be really grateful for your views or any experience you have of this.

He had some speech problems about a year ago which he had speech therapy for and is now apparently on par with others his age, although there is still some dificulty in the way he pronunces some sounds and also how he says things ie watch-ED instead of watched.

He is still wetting the bed every single night.

He doesn't "get" that films/programmes on tv aren't real. He has to continually check with me what is/isn't real, even cartoons.

He forgets even basic things, like he will go to the toilet and forget to wipe, wash his hands, flush loo without being constantly reminded, then he asks why he has too?!

When he writes it is neat but takes a very long time to do, gets b, p, d all round the wrong way (even Z which is in his name!), all the time, he is right handed but holds a pencil/pen like he is left handed if that makes any sense? Also gets numbers round the wrong way, mostly 3, 9 and 7.

He can read a word then 2 seconds later he will try reading the same word and he won't know what it says. Same as with his spellings, do them ok after a long time one day and the next he won't get 1 right.

He is very very easily upset and crys all the time.

I really don't know but there is something and I would just like to know where to go next.

Thanks for reading/replying

Have you spoken to his teacher??
Both my dcs (5+8) do the watch-ed look-ed thing and the 5yo will still check about tv being real.
I spend all day reminding them basics!! My 8yo concentrates on only 1 thing so can be so glued to tv he wont notice he has spilt his drink for example.
Have a chat with your GP as well as the school.

Dpn't want to trivialise this as you know your son and if you feel that something is not right then you should get it checked with GP but it does all sound very normal. My friend works in a school with children of this age and she constantly has to remind them of the most simle things, they are all very easily distracted and forgetful. Often write letters, numbers wrong way round. I think a lot of kids look quite awkward when they write cos it's still a fairly new skill and I'm sure when he gets older he'll look more like he should be right handed (if that makes sense??!). Also, my friend's 6 yr old is constantly askng if Mickey Mouse is real and all that stuff. It's quite a complicated thing for them to get their head round that they can see something on TV which doesn't exist in real life.

As for the easily upset/ crying thing, again it sounds quite normal, some children are obviously more sensitive than others but they all know how to turn on the tears at this age. Of course if you are worriedthen def mention it to the school etc.

Yes i was also going to say that none of what you have described sounds unusual for a child of that age. Apart from the reading spelling thing my dcs have probably manifested all those things at that age (or older!)

If he is struggling with reading still (ie hasn't grasped the phonic sounds, assuming that is how they each reading at his school) I would mention that to the teacher though.

I think you need to put your mind at rest properly - it is probably all completely normal but unless you've had reassurance I don't imagine you'll get any peace.

So go and see your GP, or have a chat with his teacher, or maybe the school SENCo. The GP may well have some strategies for dealing with the bed-wetting, at least.

I agree that you must trust your instincts and maybe get him asessed independently. BUT, I also have to say that he sounds a lot like my 5.5 yr old son who I don't feel is in anyway different to his peers.
He still gets his letters and numbers backwards a lot, reads a word and then doesn't know it a min later, he thinks Ben 10 (the cartoon) is real (but I worked out this is because there is a live action version and he saw trailers of the actor meeting fans and thinks this means its all real )He never remembers to wash hands and still wears a night nappy, and cried this morning when I said we would drive to school because it was raining (and prob tomorrow will cry when i say we will walk).

I don't know if that helps, but for FWIW my nephews and friends sons are all very similar at this age too. Trust your insticnt though, if only to put your mind at rest.

Thank you for the replies

The tv thing worried me more the day we were throwing pennies in a well and had to wish for something, he said he wished for a gun so he coud shoot me I had to explain to him that I would be dead and never come back etc. He said well they do it on the tv. So I had to tell him why it wasn't real. Since then he constaltly asks about the programmes. I am very careful what he watches now. Although maybe he just doesn't like me

As for the other stuff maybe it is just normal. I was going to speak to his teacher to see if she thinks there is anything to worry about so might just do that anyway.

Saw GP about a year ago re the bed wetting and was supposed to be on a waiting list for the clinic that deals with it but have heard nothing as yet. Will chase that up too.

Thanks again.

If you are concerned I would see your GP and ask for a referral to the community paed (who will be based at your Child Development Centre). The paed will be able to discuss your concerns and check that development is within the norms for his age. If it isn't then they can refer on to whomever is necessary.

DS2 is a lot like your DS, OP. I identified with everything you listed except the thinking-tv-is-real.
I often think that DS2 is at the 'autistic' end of the normal spectrum.
Although a better (and I think more accurate) way to describe him is simply 'Very sensitive'.

DS2 also can't follow narrative very well... does that sound familiar? What I mean is, I read him a short story and he'll then ask really 'dumb' questions about what happened in the story, like he wasn't listening at all. Only he was listening intently, just obviously not absorbing or following the plot. Oh, and he's clumsy as all heck, crashes off and into things daily.

I'm not going to suggest what you do; for me, some kind of formal diagnostics would just be unnecessary stress, I'm sure. I hope that you get some reassurance at least by knowing you're not alone in having a child like this. .

With the others here - so much of what you describe I would say is 'normal'

b,d,p - yeap - nailed now but took a while and the numbers.

Bed wetting - this really isn't necessarily an issue (read any number of threads on here). 1 in 5 (I think from memory) isn't dry at this stage.

Fogetting to do things - my god, the amount of times I shout 'and don't forget to flush, and wash your hands' and on play dates I automatically go and flush the loo as they ALL leave it!!

Yes, get him checked if you really feel there is something amiss, but so much of what you describe I can relate to and I see it in mine and others....

My DS is almost six and sounds a lot like yours, maybe not so much the reading thing but he is a good reader, I think a lot of his friends have difficulties. He does get scared about films and cartoons sometimes and I have to remind him they are not real - just like the astrosaurs books are not real LOL! They have very active imaginations at this age.

I agree that he is very similar to his peers, I think most of them cry at the drop of a hat!

He doesn't wet the bed but actually has always had the bladder of a camel! But he never washes his hands or flushes the loo without being prompted.

None of this sounds out of the ordinary IMO.

Ok, while it doesn't sound like there is anything wrong with him, I have to disagree with the others who have said it all sounds normal, your gut instinct is that it's not quite normal so you are probably right. However, he may just have 'global delay' (not sure if that's an acceptable term anymore?) and be much slower than his peers because he just has a low IQ. This shouldn't be something to worry about though as it doesn't mean there is anything 'wrong' with him! Talk to his teacher. What are the school doing to help him? Presumably he has an IEP and more accesible work than some of his more able classmates have?

Do there issues bother him or is he a happy content boy? I'd say if he is happy and enjoys life and seems relaxed and confident then you shouldn't worry too much.

Surely bedwetting every night is unusual for a child of that age? - sorry OP this is not a question aimed at you, but at the pther posters who have said it sounds normal. Is it?

yes our specialist has said that

10% of children wet the bed at 5 years old
5% of children wet the bed at 10 years old

Mine wet the bed until 10. It's called eneurisis and is often inherited (both my brothers did too).

yy nocturnal dryness or rather lack of not even considered an issue until the child reaches age 7

Ah that is interesting. I had heard that until a certain area of the brain has developed children don't have control over their bladder at night (their brain doesn't wake them up or something?) so I guess if this hasn't developed there is nothing you can do to make them dry through the night is there?

production of urine-production-suppressing hormone, vasopressin IIRC, comes with maturity of the pituatary gland so, no you cannot train for night time dryness; the child has no control

(god I am so boring!!)

Hi easyeggs

Although I agree with the others that a lot of what you say does sound normal for a 6yo - in many ways it also sounds like a lot like my ds:
getting upset easily, crying over things that seem trivial
not understanding what is real and what isnt

My ds is like that and a whole bunch more 'indicators' and thus has a diagnoses.

That doesnt mean that your ds has what my ds has - but I would definately go to your gp and ask for a referral.
I wouldnt just ignore it

HTH

Thanks for the replies and advice. On the whole going to the tiolet front it isn't the flushing and washing his hands that is the problem it's the fact that he doesn't seem to understand the need to actually WIPE! I mean after a number 2 not a wee lol. I tell him he has to and he asks why

Anyway I agree that the doctor has said they don't really tend to worry about bedwetting until 7yrs, as others have said but that may also be linked into more than just the lack of maturity of the pituatary gland but only time will tell.

He is mostly a happy boy but also sometimes I think he is a bit of an outsider, he looks so sad sometimes but then again he seems to be away in his own little world a lot too

Wrote a letter to his teacher so will wait to see if I can go in and speak with her find out her views on the education side of things.

Overmydeadbody - as yet there is nothing extra in place to help him as it seems that there is either nothing wrong as far as his teachers are concerened or nothing as been picked up yet.

Boys - you're not boring - just informed

I can't comment on all your concerns but ds very much had that confusion between reality and fiction.

He plays in a football team and took it all so seriously until one day he blurted out that he was frightened the manager would get sacked if he played badly and he wouldn't get offered a contract. Poor child has watched premiership football with his dad and had completely absorbed the rules of that and applied them to his own little football team.

He can't watch anything frightening on TV, has never been able to, he was the sort of child that was terrified of the noo noo on Teletubbies and the Number Jack floaty thing.

He also cried a lot (and still does now) and ery much has the world is not fair to me attitude about himself.

I wouldn't call him sensitive, he's actually quite tough but for many many years, he didn't quite grasp how the world worked (I don't know if that makes sense!).

We did go and see someone about it because I think we wanted someone to tell us if we should be doing anything differently or whether the way dh and I were behaving was perhaps making it worse. It was incredibly useful.

Interestingly, ds also had a speech problem which I think contributed to a lot of the upset as he was never clearly understood and this led to frustration (at one point he stopped talking out loud). I only wish we had intervened with this earlier but just boosting his confidence and encouraging him to talk has done wonders.

I would follow your instincts. I felt like you about ds and had done since he was a baby. I knew something wasn't quite right.

You are only doing the best you can as a parent if you follow your instincts and ask for help - it's far better to seek help than yo sit there wondering if you should. I wish I had done it sooner as it was helpful.

Children don't get the difference between fact and fiction until really late on thei development - about 10/11 I think. He sounds normal, but at one end of the spectrum. See your GP, esp the bed-wetting which must be draining. But honestly he doesn't sound that different to 6 year olds I teach.

When I went to a paediatrician about my 5.5 year old wetting the bed every night and asked what i should do, his answer was that if I didn't want to be changing sheets daily and having a stinky room i should leave him in nappies until he is ready! I did, everyone much happier and within 6 months the nappies were dry.
The same boy also cried uncontrollably during ET when ET got ill and could not be consoled.
Both my sons would leave toilet without wiping.I think they had more important things to get on with and didn't regard pants with tobacco stains an issue.

My boys are now 15 and 18 and I still have to shout to them to flush toilet and wash hands!

You know your son best, but it just sounds like he is at the lower end of the average spectrum, which is not a problem and he will catch up.