4 week old cries all the time if not feeding or asleep - is this normal?

[stellamel]

my ds cries all the time unless BF or sleeping - is this normal for his age? It's just so distressing to have him cry continually without any (apparant) reason. I just can't comfort him for more than 2 or 3 mins at a time, the only way he stops crying is if I feed him, but this seems none stop and my 3.5yo dd is getting a bit fed up of mummy being stuck to the settee. I bought a moby sling but have only tried it twice as each time he cried like crazy.

Is it normal - maybe because he's so young? He is 9lbs 12oz and has put on 10oz this last week, so I know he is getting fed.

I can't remember how it was with dd.

I feel I'm like letting him down, or not giving him something he needs or is it perfectly normal at this early age for him to be like this?

thanks for any advice

How much does he sleep in the day ?

not much, he sleeps for 1-2hrs on school run, then same in afternoon if we go out in car otherwise not much till early evening when he dozes on and off while feeding none stop 6-10pm.

have just tried moby sling again as poor dd wanted to make cakes and ds won't settle. He went crazy - we all ended up crying and cake baking had to be abandonded and I feel so bad for dd, it's so hard for her.

We have similar issues here. DS is 7 weeks (DD is 2.8) and he is so demanding compared to how she was as a baby.

Someone mentioned to me that he could be overtired and that, at this age, they should be sleeping for around 16 hrs a day. DS was nowhere near this and he did improve a bit when he started getting more sleep. I just found he needed to be helped to sleep (rocking/cuddling/sling and quietish dark room to keep him asleep). Hard to do when you have another one but worth trying.

I also found he was very windy/uncomfortable because I was trying to feed him every time he cried and i think he was taking milk when he didn't really need/want it. Still haven't managed to solve that one but have been trying various dummies without success so far.

thanks tilly, v. interesting. He doesn't sleep anywhere near enough then, probably no more than 10-12hrs max in any one 24hr period. May need to try to get him to sleep more in the day, tho so far he won't go to sleep in house unless on my lap whilst feeding, which isn't a great help, when I desperatly want to spend some time with my dd.

yes it's normal - but he's not sleeping enough

DS only seemed to have three settings in his first weeks - asleep, feeding or crying. You have my utmost sympathy.
He lived in the Moby as he only settled being held upright/cuddled. Can you try wearing him a bit more while spending time with your DD, maybe he will sleep there?
It turned out that part of my DS's problem was reflux, not properly diagnosed/treated until about 4 months though - he didn't sleep at all well because lying on his back hurt. Don't know if this might be a factor for your DS?

Persevere with the sling.... Put him in it when he's all sleepy from feeding rather than trying to do it when he's already crying iyswim. I can't believe how much my DS fights sleep

My dd was like that (although she didn't sleep as much as your ds). Turned out that she was milk intolerant. Took me 16 weeks of hell to discover that. I gave up all dairy from my diet, and within 10 days she was a million times better. Milk intolerance is more common than a lot of people realise.

Has he been like this since birth or is it a recent thing? I just ask because around that age ds1's silent reflux kicked in (fairly classic time for it) and he barely slept during the day, but did quite well at night, exhausted by then probably! He hated being horizontal, had lots of hiccups and his breath smelled appalling, never actually threw up though. He comfort fed the whole time and was crying whenever awake and not feeding, no matter how much we comforted him, which was just soul-destroying. Diagnosed and treated at 12 weeks, which was just as well because we were totally losing it by that point!

Utmost sympathy - it is just horrid when they won't be soothed. Not saying it is silent reflux but worth bearing in mind and checking for symptoms.

If the only way to stop him crying is to feed him, then probably the way forward is ... to feed him!!! The #1 cause of crying at this age is hunger, probably because all the books are obsessed with making babies wait for a certain time before being fed. Hate to say it but if he seems to want to feed almost constantly, that sounds like a pretty normal 4 week old baby to me.

There are some slings which you can breastfeed in, like Huggababy and Slingeasy (I tried both and they are good). It takes a bit of practice but once you've got it, you can be up and mobile. There is lots of info on the web about feeding in a sling, try this page

My dd was like this but was happy lying on her front along my arm so that was where she lived for four months. I learnt to do everything (including going to the loo!) with her on my arm and she became like a permanent limb. I agree with the hunger comment though. One of my dds put on loads of weight each week but cried and cried. With hindsight she was hungry I am sure of it.

he does have reflux, not to the extent of being sick but enough to cause him to pull his legs up etc. we were told to use gaviscon - but has anyone any experience of long term use of it and what effects it can have? I know it causes constipation, it just concerns me that it could be bad for him long term - or am I being paranoid?

I always feed him when he cries I would never refuse him. It's just that even when he's been fed for at least 25mins on one breast and 15mins on other he will still cry afterwards - surely he can't possibly be hungry. I always hold him upright as I am aware of the reflux causing him pain.

I'm not sure it's that much of a problem long term, but in our case of silent reflux, gaviscon was no use at all (and a royal pain to administer). It seems to be the first thing that GPs/HVs suggest, but doesn't always help. Ranitidine was much more effective, but we needed a GP referral to a paed - who took one look at DS arching and said "classic reflux!" - this after months of GP saying helpful things like "it's just colic" and "babies do cry you know" - before that was tried.
Hang in there. You can bf in a Moby too I'm told...but I never managed it!

Personally I would check out the hunger thing if he cries when he finished feeding but is being held upwards. I tried my dd with a bottle but she wouldnt take it and so was stuck with just bf'ing. She used to cry after feeding and I thought it was her colic - now two dds later I am more convinced I just wasnt providing enough for her (I know I will get flamed for that but I know deep down its true however much it makes me feel crap).

I will repeat my suggestion of milk intolerance, especially in light of you saying that he does have (silent) reflux, as the two things often go hand in hand with each other.
Are you not prepared to try going dairy free for 2 weeks to see if it makes a difference?

My DS was exactly the same. He has acid reflux and cow milk protein intolerance. Once reflux was under control (with omeprazole) and formula changed to nutramigen, he was like a different baby. The first 3-4 months of his life were hell.

my now 7 week old was similar, and I really found settling for more naps helped. I read the baby whisperer which I thought made sense, and now try to put her down before she gets too tired -otherwise they get overtired then wont sleep, so you think they are not tired, but they are actually over-stimulated. my LO is much more content now. also we have found a baby swing (bought on ebay!) settles her, and she loves her dummy, it really seems to soothe her. good luck!

Is is colic? Look up NHS choices to see if fits. See health visitor for assistance. Poor you.

'colic' is often thought to be undiagnosed milk intolerance though beammeup.

Have you tried Infacol? This sorted out my ds2 when he was 11 weeks old. You can buy it in a chemist. It is quite easy to administer, you just squeeze the dropper into his mouth before feeding. Hope your ds cheers up soon...

My DD slept about that much, and the reason she couldn't sleep much and was crying so much was silent reflux. Check out the symptoms and see if that might be a possibility - ah just notice jimmy mentioned this.

If so, napping in a swing seat (so upright) might be more successful and get the medicine that takes the edge off it.

What it is

symptoms

oh - I see it is reflux now.

Well then, it is better to try and feed for longer spells less often - I did it every three hours. Then she would be in horrible pain for an hour or so, but then would start to feel better and even manage to get some sleep (semi upright) before feeding again. If you feed every hour then your baby will be in pain continuously.

I used Gaviscon and it didn't constipate my daughter and she had no problems at all with it. If anything, I don't think it was strong enough and needed something stronger.

By 12 weeks I was the walking dead and almost fell down the stairs with tiredness so you must take it seriously.

Infacol will do nothing in these sorts of cases. puddock is completely right - if Gaviscon doesn't give you a happy baby then you probably need to get a referral asap. They may try and fob you off with all those 'it will pass' statements, but only people who have had children with it will truly understand quite how dreadful it is.

This is useful too - Ideas for Reflux Babies