Teenage DD's hormones, moods and tantrums.......oh nooo it doesn't stop at toddler age!!!

[madwomandriver]

Are there any other Mums of teenagers out there?? I have a DD four weeks away from her 14th birthday and until recently, absolutely wonderful.

We had babyhood (the best bit!!)this newly born tiny bundle of love with her shock of dark curly hair sticking up like a little punk rocker, loved her cuddles so much I had to buy her a baby sling to put her in between feeds, toddlerhood with it's tantrums and joys, starting school and the anxiety that brought; flung headlong into the world of learning sounds, recognising her name, remembering PE kits and dinner money, cello lessons, times tables, homework, spellings reading and SATS,her First Communion at church aged 7, the year 6 prom at age 11, the bigger anxiety of starting secondary school, the Gold awards coming home from school in droves, her first boyfriend, the place in the school orchestra and string ensemble, now we have hit Year 9 Options for GCSE and mood swings, tantrums and explosions on a scale never known before in my family!!!

I knew they could be bad (teenagers not Options!!)- i just didn't bank on quite THIS bad!! She asks me for help. I sit down (after a busy day at work, on my feet the whole shift with mere 5 minutes to call a break to swallow a sandwich!!)to help her choose her options for the most important years of her life at school, the most nerve wracking time. It's important to get this right. We both know this, it's been pumped into us since the beginning of year 9 last September. Get it wrong, she may not get the A levels for whichever course she wants to do at Uni in 4 years time. I read out a question to her: what subjects would she choose after GCSE if she stays on to sixth form? I help her think of her answer. Suddenly I don't know anything. I haven't lived. She isn't meant to put that, she's meant to write something else. She bursts into tears and screams at me. The door slams, I hear her feet stomping up to her room, her door slams, the bed creaks and I hear her sobbing through the ceiling.

I break down in tears. This is my little baby, my delightful toddler who used to climb out of her cot and get in with her Dad and I for a cuddle in the mornings . All growing up. What do I do and how the hell do I support her through the strain of this??
Her Dad left by the way, have been a single Mum for 3 years now and it gets easier.

Sounds like you're living in my house!
My Ds is 14 this year and year 9. One minute he is a saint, next he may as well be the devil himself!
Sometimes I get doors slammed in my face because I dare to complain that he has left his blazer on the living room floor and I've become a stresshead in his eyes! Then when his dad pulls him for speaking to me like that he gets a load of cheek from DS.
Minutes later he will be snuggled up on the settee with me telling me something funny that had happened at school.

There is no doubt both my DS, your DD and thousands like them are going through untold stress. Their bodies are physically changing, they have to make what they are being told are life making decsions- which truth be told is a load of nonsense. Very few children know excatly what they want job wise from that age stick to it, get the job and stay there forever (I know there are exceptions)

Often they want more freedom than they are allowed and don't always understand the worries and fears us parents have about their safety
They are discovering a social life, they are becoming interested in sex and are becoming sexual beings. There is also social and peer pressure as well as media influences on how to have a cool life. They want to be inderependant and free from their parents but not quite mature enough to do it yet. They don't like admitting that they actually still need their parents.. No wonder kids get fucked up!!

I'm just rolling with it to be honest. (Admittedly in my head, where no one can hear, the words OH FFS often bounce around!!)