I really don't know what to do. I know a lot of you will probably say its normal behaviour, but seriously, I can't cope with him anymore. He can be so nasty to his siblings. He has started throwing things at me in temper, i swear he hates me, won't do a single thing I ask him, and makes such a big deal about everything. He lies about things, including having done his homework (though I have started checking up on him with this recently which he hates!) He physically hurts his siblings, games always have to be how HE wants them to be otherwise he turns nasty (needless to say the other dcs have had enough of this!) If they are in the way when he is having a strop, they get shoved or hit, even right in front of me and DH, then he tries to make out he didn't do anything! When we saw him right in front of our faces do it! He has been getting worse the past year as time has gone on. He does all this to his siblings, yet he seems incapable of doing anything alone. He won't even go upstairs and brush his teeth unless there is someone else up there!
We had a thing a few weeks ago with him a few weeks ago where he was coming home, with all his fruit still in his lunchbox. We gave him chance to eat it, he didn't take it, so we started taking the 'treat item' out of the box instead. The fruit started being eaten according to him. Looked in his bag yesterday because I could smell something horrid....yep...you guessed it.... at least 10 pieces of rotten fruit in his bag, squashed in with his PE kit he told me he had already put in the wash, all over homework etc. I ended up just tipping it all out over the kitchen floor and made him sort it out. The smell was making me heave.
He has eczema on his hands really bad. He refuses to put the cream on to help it. I don't know what I am supposed to do, he sits there saying they look digusting, yet he won't do anything about it. I have even tried telling him unless he starts putting the cream on, I will have to take him to the doctors every day to make them do it for him. I can't physically do it for him as he won't let me, plus I am not sure I should handle the cream being pregnant.
We have recently in the past few weeks, started letting him have a bit more freedom and responsibility, thinking maybe that would help. He wanted to go to football club after school on a wednesday so we have started letting him walk home from there on his own (only about a 10 minute walk with proper crossings over the road) He really enjoys it, but god help me when we have to remind him at the weekend that his boots STILL need cleaning. We give him chance and time to do it of his own accord, but come the weekend, we have to tell him over and over to do it. He goes to a martial arts club on a monday evening doing judo (been doing that for about 4 years now and he is pretty good at it now, we take him to compeitions and everything) I go out of my way to get him there, its quite a way away, I am pregnant with dc5 (due in 16 weeks) and I don't drive, have to take all the other kids with me, and DH is at college that evening doing a degree. He goes to a friends house sometimes. So it's not like we don't let him do anything. We have tried stopping him going to these things when we feel his behaviour has been too much, but it doesn't make any difference.
Yet as well, he doesn't want to go on the school trip planned for november for 3 days that means he will have to stay away from home!!! I don't understand him i really don't. What are we doing wrong? Me and DH always show a united front with discipline etc, we always have. But even DH has had enough. He said yesterday that he couldn't even tell ds just to calm down playing too rough without getting a gobfull back and being yelled at. Even though DH didn't even raise his voice, just calmly asked him!
There are so many other things I could go on about, but I think I have gone on enough at the moment! Sorry!!!