Any withholding success stories?

[reup]

Am at my wits end with my son. He has been constipated for a while. He has high fibre diet but not a lot of fruit and veg and probably not enough water (he hates juice). We tried lactulose and it didn't do much. (May not have been big enough dose) So then we were given movicol which took 5 days to work then was great. Poo probably a bit too runny but it wasn't hurting him. Now he has started withholding again but this times it worse cos the bits that do leak out are far more runnier and substantial.

Hes almost 3 and still in nappies cos I can't face changeing poo-ey pants 6 times a day.

I have read the Cohn book about it and after a day of watching him dance around holding it in whilst I tried putting him on the loo (hes too big for a potty). He was really into it but only really did very tiny poos. But was very proud.

But the next day as soon as a big one came along he screamed and didn't want to go near the toilet.

I had a look at the eric site but it was so depressing. Lots of kids having the problem for years and years and the whole issue of what happens at school.

So has anyone got any success stories to share as it feels really bleak at the moment and I just feel like crying all the time. And I am so sick of changing nappies and dealing with poo.

Haven't had this experience beyond just the time it takes to persuade 3yo buy that it's less uncomfortable to poo in a potty/toilet than in a nappy. But have you tried suggesting that his favourite toy/character is doing the same thing and that the toy needs help to learn? Obviously depends on your ds's nature but if he's into role-play and suspending his disbelief, might it help? It does with my ds1 for things like this. You could fashion a small potty for the toy to use to encourage your ds.

DS1 was like this at three and I remember how frustrating it was. But it did get better, gradually - by 6 he was going every day (though we still had to sit in the bathroom with him) and now at 8 everything is completely normal. He didn't have any issues at school - just used to hold it in until he got home (and still does, most of the time).

The only thing that worked was being very casual and almost offhand about the whole thing. Which I didn't manage a lot of the time! We gave up on Lactulose etc - the best thing for DS1 was epsom salts in the bathwater.
I do feel for you - it's horrible at the time. But I know quite a few children who've had this problem and only one of them still suffers at 8.

I feel your pain... I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. But (touch wood) I have a success story! DD will be four in March as has been a witholder since potty training at 2.2. Dont really know what went worng as she use to go everyday when she was in nappies but somehow went down to twice and the once a week or less (record was 15 days!).

She had movical, which we had terrible trouble getting her to take, therefore it didnt really work. We have had nearly two years of almost constant leaking of poo. She would wear a pantly liner, and sometimes we would need to change it every 15 mins. It was very time consuming. It got to the stage when she didnt even show signs of witholding, she wouldnt prance around etc. Also when she did poo, it was always in her knickers. We tried not making a big deal of the whole thing, but it was very hard and every now and then we would show or frustration, get cross, beg her to just poo! She would be lethargic and grumpy.

Anyway since Christmas we have had a real breakthrough. Firstly we seem to get the dose of meds right... 10ml senna and 25ml of lactolose a day. We got her basket of wrapped up presents (just small little things..books craft stuff etc) 3 poos + 1 prize. Then one day i was upstairs and she shouted up that she had pooed on the potty and we havent looked back since. She will now go most days and she knows that when she feels a poo "coming to say hello" she has to sit on the potty or toilet. We found the potty really helpful as it meant that she could take herself off and use it without annoucing that she needed a poo. But she is very small for her age!

I dont know if that has been any help.. just wanted you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I never believed it would get better. I posted on ERIC too a while back looking for advice. I hope it improves for you and your DS Soon.

Oh yes I'd forgotten - we did the small rewards too.

Thanks for all the replies. I will have a try at everything!

I have had a go at 2teddy needs to poo" role play which he enjoyed but I should do it again.

I haven't had a go at small rewards (I did something similar for my older son when toilet training as he couldn't get the hang of poos; he didn't withhold though, more the opposite!).

I did try some chocolate buttons for sitting on the toilet yesterday which made him try about 10 times! But only the little dribbles came out. We aren't doing full on toilet training till half termn when I have dh around and we don't have to go anywhere for a few days.

We have decided to do movicol every other day because for the brief fabulous 3 weeks when it worked it was probably too runny, (God I never thought I would ever be thinking this much of poo). My son hates it too but we dissolve it in water then add a bit of milk and nesquick (am postponing having to think of how to wean him off chocolate milkshake from breakfast later!)

A lovely poster sent me the Poo goes to Pooland book and have ordered "It hurts when I poop" from amazon!

I can't help but stressing that it will take so long to change and he is starting at a school nursery in Septmeber and won't be allowed if not toilet trained.

Yes - it took nearly a year with dd, til she was 4.3. We started on movivol then added lactulose. You have to adjust the amount of these until they HAVE TO poo (ie just cannot hold it) at least every 24-48 hours. It's messy, I know, because the laxatives make a lot of runny poo that escapes. The colon stretches due to witholding so once they are stabalised don't reduce straight away - do it gradually over a few weeks at least to let the colon/bowel shrik back (you will know as the po will start to get thinner - the thinkness should be like a chipolata although dd's have never quite got back to that).

The only reward that worked with dd (and we tried everything) was a box of chocolates where she could choose one every time she pooed in the potty or toilet. Toys, stickers - no good. She is driven by chocolate and she never got it any other time.

I was absoutely desperate while this was going on but stay with it and you will get there. Don't drop the laxatives just because of the mess. I know it's terrible and you get through a lot of knickers - but the have to be forced to go regularly to stop the colon stretching and to get into the habit so that they accept this is normal.

thanks for that.

Did she have problems at school or had she not started then?

He was going once a day with a few leaks but in the last 2 weeks hes defintely holding it in again even though its runny. So there are loads more leaks and less frequent bigger poos. He doesn't even know hes done the leaks. But he does the holding it in dance and then after will agree with me that it doesn't hurt. It must be so ingrained now.

We thought of doing it every other day as its just so runny now. We missed sundays dose and todays and its still runny so I think we may stick to that for a while. Am keeping a poo diary to see the effect!

The runny poo is most likely leaking around the blocked main poo - that's what happens. I would keep the laxative use very even.

She improved just in time to start school last Sep - but we have been having some issues in the last month

Yes thats why I think he is still witholding cos of all the leaks. But then the big poos are runny too!

I had an nightmare explosion tonight after a couple of leaks today. It came out of his nappy and went all down his sleepsuit leg and filled it up and had to hose him down. Sorry to share but it was an experience and a half. He hadn't had movicol since yesterday morning.

Have you any idea how long the bowel takes to shrink back to normal?

Weeks, maybe months I was told. But that's after the witholding stops.

Movicol doesn't make the poo soft - lactulose does that. Movicol moves the poos along to help push it out.

It is a ghastly business - my sympathies!

hmm. I think its been about 6 weeks so far. His poo since taking it has been uniformly very loose after having huge boulders every 5 or 6 days.

oh god poo is my life and we haven't even started toilet training yet! My older ds was awful with that. I wanted an easy one this time!

I’ve just come across this thread as I’m now in the same boat! On the off chance that anyone sees this 15 years later, can you please reassure me that your teenagers got through!! Thank you

This might sound weird but worked for my son who was withholding. There is a god awful video on YouTube called “poo goes to Pooland” my son was about the same age and my friend recommended it. And it worked. It’s a terrible and very dated video 😅 but I wouldn’t take try anything and it did work. He was another who went on the lactulose. He did have to watch it a lot though whilst he went. I guess it’s worth a try!

Hi may I ask @Jessmumofboys how old was your child when you showed this video and how long did it take to work ?

kind regards Aysha