DS3 beng a nightmare whenver I even happen to glance in another adult's direction..

[Traineetoddlertrainer]

Aaarghh..it's like dealing with a jealous lover. I am LP to a DS3. I (of course) love him to bits and when we spend time on our own, he's great. Okay, he has the usual small blips, but nothing unmanageable. Until we meet up with friends of mine/friends of his with their mum's at which point he turns into a nightmare.

Yesterday, I had spitting, bolting, general attempts to drag me off and terminal whining - all in the middle of a soft play with one of his "best" friends, whose mum I was catching up with. He was having a great time with his friend - just interspersed with vile behaviour. TBH I was at a loss - for a start the nightmare behaviour always catches me on the hop as we only spend time with another mum/toddler about 2/3 times a month. (I work 4 1/2 days a week and have moved about 40 mins from my mum friends... BTW How DOES one make other mum friends in this sit...another thread, m'thinks) We were also in the middle of a soft play, so how does one do the timeoout/removal of toys/stickers etc. that normally works? We couldn't exactly go home as he was going to his dad's later.

So, basically, any tips on what to do? I get there are two things going on here, so would really appreciate help on both: I fully understand that he wants to spend time with his mum as he hasn't really seen "seen" me for days, apart from morn and quick hour in evenings. BTW He does spend Thurs and Frid morn with his gran getting spoilt to bits so it is not like I am throwing him to the wolves for the week. However, Frid aft is really the only time other mum/his friends are around. But he also needs to learn that this sort of behaviour is not acceptable - okay, pulling/whining I can deal with, but spitting?!! And bolting round a car park - both completely unacceptable. But what do I do?

Any help/ideas would be great. Thanks a mil.

Help. Please. Am not expecting a miracle solution, but some ideas would be very nice..

Actually just realised I said DS3 - of course, meant DS OF 3yo!

Wish I had a magic wand or pearls of wisdom but afraid I have same problem (apart from spitting, he does all of the things you mentioned). And my DS will be 5 in June.

You can do time out in a soft play centre, just say "do that again and you're in time out" then hold him on your lap if he carries on the bad behaviour. If he hasn't calmed down after 5 mins then explain he'll be going home unless he stops, playdate or no playdate. I don't think I've ever had to actually take him home because the penny seems to drop before we get that far.

good luck!

Thanks for replying - lap tip good one. Hadn't thought of that. Really good idea - I was at a bit of a loss (as you can probably tell!). Thanks!

... forgot to say.. hold on tight, mine squirms so much his shoes and sometimes even trousers fall off.

Mmmm, good point. Not relishing having to hang on to 3 1/2 stone of small aggrieved boy. Oh well, needs must. Trousers falling off would make me laugh rather a lot though (which would rather defeat the point!)

My DS2 was like this (still is, with a thin veneer of self control). He is now nearly 7. And I was a SAHM, so it wasn't to do with not seeing me as much .....

Agree with Endangered.

BTW, IME, soft play has a nasty effect on many DCs. If there was anywhere where DS2 would mis-behave it would be there. It is simply too exciting for some DCs. I would limit the time you spend there (hard, I know, when the cost so much), and make sure he is well-fed.