no emotions?

[nightowl]

a comment from a friend's child tonight has prompted me to try and do something about ds. he was seeing a occupational therapist but was signed off earlier this year. However, he seems to be getting worse if anything and acts very strangely. Some children were horrible to him a few weeks ago, saying he was "mental" and should be in the "nuthouse". i dismissed them as horrible rough little creeps (which they were). but tonight, one of my friends children (who hes known since birth and has always gotten on very well with) asked me what was wrong with him. i was puzzled and asked why. he said ds didnt seem right, like he should be at a special school. (there was no malice in this, it was an innocent question).

so i started writing a list to take to the doctors with me (because i know i will forget lots of things) and i realised that ds does not really have emotions...ok yeah of course he does...how can i explain...he seems very neutral all of the time. neutral or sad mostly. he never cries (when i think back i can count the number of times hes cried in his life on one hand, even as a baby he hardly ever cried). he never gets really happy about anything (even on his birthday, xmas day etc), he never gets angry about anything. even as a toddler he hardly ever had a tantrum. but he seemed like a normal bright child then, now hes vacant most of the time and getting worse. is this normal? i joke that hes getting like a moody teenager but its not funny, surely an 8 year old shouldnt be like this? have i made him like this? i know ive suffered from depression on and off but i dont let him see me down. he has a good life, everything he wants and knows he's very much loved. hes certainly never had anything traumatic to deal with and never been treated badly. can a child be depressed? i know theres something very wrong with him..i just dont know what it is?

night owl - i would say its not u that has made him like this, as u said earlier in your post, he has never been a child to show wide ranges of emotion. maybe he is just an extremley chilled individual

Unfortunately i have nothing constructive to add but understand the feeling of thinking something isnt quite right but not having a diagnosis. i hope ur fears are unground and send positive cyber vibes ur way x

I think you are right to see Dr with your list and explain it like you have here. No idea if there's really anything to worry about other than worry itself iyswim but enough to see Dr about. Good luck.

A child can be depressed, absolutely! I was a depressed child and deemed to be 'weird' at school. I was withdrawn and didn't have many friends, also preferred reading on my own to playing with others, that kind of thing.
If he is up to speed with his schoolwork then obviously there is not an intellectual disability.
I know that in my case I had a lot of fears and phobias and religious anxieties (even though my parents were not esp religious) that made me miserable and withdrawn and unable to enjoy anything. I was too embarrassed to talk to my mother about these fears for years, but once I did I know I felt a lot better.
Do you think he might have any hidden concerns or worries that he might feel silly about sharing with you? Perhaps it is worth trying to draw him out? Reassure him that WHATEVER the issue is, you will not be angry with him (eg if he has a sexual anxiety or issue - I know he is young but all the same...) or make fun of him (eg if he has some absurd phobia that seems real to him).
Of course, if he is severely depressed, he won't want to talk to you....you know what depression is like: you can lose all sense of meaning. In that case, maybe you could investigate therapy.