17 month old driving me nuts

[NoseyNooNoo]

My 17 mth old DS is driving me nuts. It seems I have to be constantly 'on' with him

If I sit down he wants to be on me - not on and cuddling but on and and climbing, biting, pinching. If I'm in the kitchen he's in there too emptying out the cupboards, sucking on cutlery or covering the floor with toys and books. If I'm on the loo he want to have his hands in the sink, or in the loo or be sat on my lap. If I'm eating, he wants some it. If I have a cup of tea he wants it (which can be dangerous).

My DD who is 3.5yrs was a very easy baby and has just got over the toddler tantrums so it's frustrating that DS is being such a pain.

I love him dearly, he truly is gorgeous but I feel like I am constantly saying 'no' to him or removing him from me or a room.

Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom?

"This, too, shall pass."

Hang on in there.

And when you can, make time for yourself, alone - it's easy to get to that "all touched-out" stage when they're that age.

My DS is 15 months and into everything too. I survive with a playpen and getting out of the house as much as possible He didn't used to like the playpen but I am a single parent and unfortunately it is sometimes necessary to put him in there for 5 minutes while I am cooking etc so that he can't reach anything. Toys which flash and make noises are good "playpen only" things I find, and sometimes I let him watch TV in there or put iplayer on the laptop etc for him. Or I sing and dance loudly to distract him! He doesn't mind it as much now and I never put him in for too long.

Another thing he likes is sitting in a highchair watching me cook/wash up etc. Sometimes I give him a little snack or wooden spoon etc to play with. Cleaning and washing he "helps" with now. It takes 2-3 times as long but he is learning and not getting into other things like the plug sockets! TBH I have just resigned myself to the fact that a simple job like hanging up washing takes a lot longer when punctuated with "I just need to climb the stairs 745 times" and "WOW look what happens when I knock this over!" and "I suddenly have an urgent need to hug you/nurse/stick my finger up your nose and laugh" and "Hey, Mum, look, there is a CAT outside!!" (My interpretation obviously!) - so instead of playing with him, then doing something, then playing etc it's more a mix of everything all at once. And stuff does get half done and left, and mudled up, but you can always catch up when they have gone to bed. Or not.

Oh, I have also sort-of-babyproofed the house. Cupboard locks on all cupboards but one, which has mainly things like tupperware in so it doesn't matter too much if he pulls it all out onto the floor. I haven't got permanent stairgates (fairly recently moved and non standard width stairs) but I have got a travel one which I can use either at the top of the stairs or to keep him in one room (e.g. living room) without shutting the door, so I can still see/hear what is going on in there. Actually he is quite good on the stairs now and usually waits for me to follow him, and doesn't seem to want to climb them as much now they are always available too. I am lucky here in that my bathroom is off the kitchen and there is a small hallway between them, so I put the cat's food, water and litter tray in there and can shut the door on them if he wants to go in and empty them or play in the cat litter.

Thanks for your tips.

We can't babyproof too much because we're renting at the moment.

I had been considering a playpen - I think he'll go ballistic though!

I do think I need time to myself though - that could help.

I have been trying to think 'This too, shall pass' but because he is so different from his sister I am worried that if I'm too laissez-faire about it he'll turn into the type of little boy that I see at toddler groups who are out of control and whose mums seem to have no control over.

I am renting too - I am getting a pressure fit stairgate as these don't leave marks on the walls and my landlord has said it's ok to put cupboard locks on as long as they are the kind that go inside the cupboard, ie not leaving marks on the outside. Speak to them and see what they say.

As for the playpen - maybe get some new toys just for the playpen to make it exciting rather than frustrating for him. For example DS has got a book which I got from Tesco for about £2 which has sounds on it, he loves this and he will sit and press the buttons for ages. I have also found some good things in charity shops - the front panel off a VTech walker is another good one. Even with him playing with it constantly, batteries have lasted about a year.

Nosey My ds 15 months is exactly the same I could have written your post.

Recently more than ever he constantly wants to be 'on' me too. Will watch this thread with interest!

My 16mth old DS is exactlyl ike this too but I accept it is a natural stage of develpment and he wants to be close to me all of the time so I try to involve him whatever I'm doing:

When I'm on the loo I ask him to get me the loo roll.

Then I let him flush the loo.

Then stand on his stool so that he can wash his hands with me too.

When I'm in the kitchen I let him play with the plastic cups/plates and cutlery in 'his' draw but have locks on all of the others.

When I'm preparing food I let him stand on his stool so that he can watch what I am doing and munch on veg or whatever, chatting to him as I go.

He loves to 'help' make a cup of tea, put kettle on, put bag in cup and squadge teabag and as soon as it's cool enough I let him sip from my cup or I'll make a milky cup for him (decaff, no sugar)

He loves going in the sling on my back and it's really useful if I just want to get a job done quickly.

He loves to stand on his stool and help with the washing up/drying

He loves to put the washing in the machine/empty and press the 'on' button then watch it go round and round.

Really it's about letting them be a part of daily life and finding ways to include them, talk to them and explain what you are doing. Granted, it takes twice as long to get a job done and it's sometimes a lot messier. You just need to change your perspective and accept that he wants to be included and try and stop feeling frustrated with him. There will come a time when he no longer wants to help and would rather spend time out with his mates, so make the most of it!

He sounds rather like my 15 mo dd2. Dd1 was such a breeze by comparison, but dd2 is a little ball of curious destructive experimental energy. I find being out of the house a lot helps!

Also, I think you probably need to readjust your perspective on things like emptying cupboards and covering the floor with books! It doesn't matter much really.

My dd2 is always delighted if I give her a job to do, whether it's bringing something along that I need or putting things away or whatever. That helps.

And she just gets a bit of whatever I'm eating. It's easier that way. And I've learned to chill out about fingers in my tea.

You could always try the famous 'treasure chest' idea - fill a box with exciting objects which aren't toys, and let him explore.

my ds was exactly like this at that age and actually for quite a while longer i am sorry to say.. i was one of those mothers whose ds was "out of control at playgroups"
he is 3.2 now and just in the last few months has he begun to have some sense and also not be manic the WHOLE time..
he too would empty everything out everywhere all the time and be constantly "on" and "on me" as you put it so well
he would never have played in a playpen, he would have gone totally nuts, but i guess you can try! It is very very wearing though so you have all my sympathy.
tbh i think you just have to accept that things will be very messy and everything will be being emptied out all the time for a while. And yes, getting OUT and to the park etc always helped my sanity levels.
he did like loading the washing machine and tumble dryer for me though and that was helpful!
Luckily (or unluckily) for me he was my first child so i think his little sister will almost certainly seem like a breeze in comparison (at 5 mo she is already a whole lot more chilled than he ever was!).
All the best