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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Up over 14 times each night to put her dummy back in

33 replies

Freyfreysmum · 27/01/2010 10:52

Help! LO is 13 weeks, and a thriving girl. We've done Gina Ford, and the sleep patterns work, well, in the day. She goes off to sleep well at 7ish, and Im still giving her a 1030pm feed as she is a very big girl, and yet she wakes up almost every half an hour for her dummy, which she falls asleep with. If I go cold turkey, or try any other tactics, she just screams - and screams, until she has woken up DD2 who is 2 and just getting over swine flu, and reduced me to tears. What do I do? x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

piratecat · 27/01/2010 10:54

cold turkey, otherwise you will be doing this for the next 3 yrs imo!!

Original poster

Freyfreysmum · 27/01/2010 10:56

OK - but literally, she screams until she is purple, and exhausted, sleeps for an hour or so until she has mustered up the energy to do it again? and again? Do I just literally leave her, from 11pm when her feed is done? x

OP posts:

babyOcho · 27/01/2010 10:58

How long did you try to get rid of the dummy for? As I understand it takes a couple of days.

PavlovtheCat · 27/01/2010 10:58

i agree. cold turkey. it is the only way. It will be very very hard, but will stop being needed very very quickly (5 days most?). Once it is done, it is done. The older your baby gets the harder it will be to stop her wanting it.

Maybe you could settle her first thing with it, and then not at all in the night, if you feel withdrawing it completely is too much?

I feel for you. I have a 3 year old who still has a bottle of milk at night time (the tiniest amount of milk) and will scream blue murder if we dare to take even the empty bottle away at night. Cold turkey is what we need to do now, but i am not brave enough i so wish we did it when she was much much younger.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/01/2010 10:59

She will get better at keeping the dummy in her mouth.

Also, have a pot of dummies next to her cot (if you don't already) so that you're not hunting on the floor in the middle of the night.

Is she in the same room as you?

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/01/2010 10:59

...sorry, meant to ask - are you giving her milk in the night?

piratecat · 27/01/2010 11:00

well, my dd didn't have a dummy and did that anyway.

She thinks the world is all about having a dummy, so of course she would scream for her 'normal' thing to be plugged back in.

i think i would get rid, ride the storm.

PavlovtheCat · 27/01/2010 11:00

Don't leave her to scream. Go to her, comfort her in another way. If you are following a system of sleep, follow that sleep system, so if you are able to go in and comfort, then do that. However if she is really distressed chuck GF for example out the window for that time and go to her and comfort her.

I think any change takes between 3-5days, or at least allow that.

PavlovtheCat · 27/01/2010 11:02

(oh and just to be clear. I am not in any way advocating actually throwing GF out of a window).

Original poster

Freyfreysmum · 27/01/2010 11:25

LOL thanks x

OP posts:

muppetgirl · 27/01/2010 11:45

Right, you have 2 paths

Keep putting the dummy back in. Which teaches her that she cannot possibly expect to sleep without it and mummy will come and do it for her. Yes, she will learn to keep it in but you will be getting up until she is a much older girl! (I speak from experience with ds 1)

Get rid of it now. You will get rid of it either when they are older or now and either will be difficult so you just need to make the decision as to when you are strong enough to tackle it.

Cold turkey is the nest way to go as then you aren't sending out mixed messages.

Also -Please can you start saying 'I give her a bottle at 10.30 beacause she needs it!!' Don't make excuses!

muppetgirl · 27/01/2010 11:45

the 'nest' way?

ErikaMaye · 27/01/2010 11:50

I have a small food storage pot with two sterilised dummies in ready for when we go to bed, so if he spits one onto the floor (little bugger is quite good at that...) there is another clean one. We had a period the other week where he kept forgetting how to hold it in his mouth. Could it be that she is hungry instead? Or possibly just wants to play? DS seems convinced 0430 is play time...

Have you tried putting some gripe water on it? Because its sweet they tend to hold it in their mouth more willingly.

Octaviapink · 27/01/2010 12:43

At thirteen weeks I'd be very surprised if she wasn't hungry overnight - TBH I'd feed her.

On the dummy front if you don't want to remove it you can scatter half a dozen around her cot (no need to sterilise, as she'll be dribbling by 13 weeks) and instead of putting it back in for her, put her hand on one until she gets used to feeling around for it herself. You can put glow-in-the-dark tape on them if you can't see them.

Seona1973 · 27/01/2010 12:59

what time does she first wake up? If it is more than a few hours since her 10.30pm feed then she is more than likely hungry and that is why she isnt settling with the dummy. Do you give any feeds in the night?

ljhooray · 27/01/2010 13:02

Just a word of warning for the future - this sounds like dd but she didn't start the back and forth to put it in until quite a but later and despite having several dummies, using clips etc. it was a complete pain until we got rid at about 18mths.

If you can go for it, get rid now - if not then just make your peace with the blessing and curse that is dummies!

Original poster

Freyfreysmum · 27/01/2010 13:33

OK thanks all. Def not hunger, if she has a bottle she just plays with it and then is Never interested in 7am feed if she has a feed in the night. Cold turkey it is. Do I pick her up to settle her, it only works for a second, then put her down regardless? My sleepless head is confused. x

OP posts:

deaconblue · 27/01/2010 13:35

ditch it, it's the only way. you'll have one horrendous night where your other children will get woken up but then it's done forever. We did it using baby whisperer's shush pat while she was howling for the dummy which worked well. She calmed down and nodded off without it after about 30 mins and the next time even quicker. aFter one night we were dummy free and ever since dd only wakes in the night if she's ill

deaconblue · 27/01/2010 13:36

def go for shush pat as she's so little, means you don't have to keep leaving the room

Original poster

Freyfreysmum · 27/01/2010 14:04

Can you elaborate on shh pat - sorry for being so oblivious, is it as sounds, pick her up, shhh, pat til she is vaguely settled, then pop her down again? Do I go to her straight away?

OP posts:

ErikaMaye · 27/01/2010 14:39

Can I just ask why people seem to be so negative towards dummies? DS is a very sucky baby, and I'd rather he was using a sterilised, orthodontic approved dummy than his thumb. Either that or he'd want to be still falling asleep at the breast..!

expatinscotland · 27/01/2010 14:44

I don't see the big problem with them myself, Erika.

All three of mine had them.

DS is the youngest and he just weaned himself off it (he's nearly 15 months old).

babyOcho · 27/01/2010 15:39

The problem is not with the dummy itself, but the fact that the OP is having to go in 14 times a night to put it back in!

So unless you're happy going in every 30mins and putting the dummy back in the best thing to do is to just ditch it.

GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy · 27/01/2010 16:09

We had this problem with DS when he was about your DD's age. We solved it by buying different dummies. He used to have Tommee Tippie ones but they constantly fell out of his mouth cue hysterics. I bought some Avent dummies with glow in the dark handles (I could kiss whoever thought of that ) and he has no problem keeping them in his mouth and just spits the dummy out once he's fast asleep.

ljhooray · 27/01/2010 16:23

Agree with BabyOcho - they can be lifesavers for sucky babies and really help settle little ones, giving peace and quiet to all concerned...BUT if you have a little one that just keeps losing the dummy and will not resettle without it, it works against exactly what you are trying to achieve (a baby that will settle and a bit of unbroken sleep!)

My DD was fine at this age, she'd carry on sleeping so no drama, but it was some months later the trouble really started - just as the late feed went and we could see the night of sleep on the horizon, we started with the in and out the room who knows how many times and no matter how many dummies etc it never really got better until she was way past 1 and we then went cold turkey I think about 15-16 mths anyway.
IMO if I was having this problem at this age and having been through it once, I would still stick by the advice of ditching it

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